Author: Michael Cabahug

 

Decisions on what we want for good

Involves not just us but with God,

Surrendering to His will,

Choosing a greater good

Enhancing our prayer life

Rendering ourselves

Not holding on the time,

Making Jesus the center of it

Enjoying His guidance and lead

Not what I want but as You want

Trusting in the Lord forever.

 

In every aspect of our lives we constantly decide on everything that we do. Whatever level of decision making we do whether it’s in the level of instinct, conscience or discernment will always influence our life and mission. As a Mission Volunteer Applicant, I have become more aware of the level of thinking that I am doing. Before I was more of an instinct and conscience decider I always rely on my gut feeling or sometimes I think if that will be a good or bad result to me or to others. I always use my mind to decide and put besides the heart sometimes I just decide without even praying for it.

Since I become an SFC I have been hearing a lot about discernment but I really don’t understand it fully until I have to discern for my application for mission volunteer applicant. It took me a year to finally decide on it. I know I have a calling but I did not know how to handle it. I have to constantly ask God what he want me to do thru my prayer time and He consistently gave me an answer that sometimes confuses me. I talked to a lot of people but I did not tell them what I am discerning for. I asked for questions that also leads to more questions. I look for answers in the forms of signs and I don’t get the answer I want. What leads me to finally saying YES to the calling of an MVA is thru surrendering.

I decided to let go of all the things that is keeping me from pursuing what I like. I let go and let God. I tell God what I really want and tell him that I wanted to go do the mission and I need His guidance to for this decision. During my discernment time God let me see all the options that I can have. He showed me that whatever I choose is always for the better me. He showed me the good and the better of both sides if I chose to be an MVA or not. He did not let me decide base on my instinct because this is not a matter of pain and pleasure. He did not let me decide base on my conscience because it is not a matter of right of wrong. Instead He let me discern for it because it is between the good and the greater good. And when we discern we have to always keep in our mind and heart to always choose the greater good.

When I finally decided to say yes to be an MVA, a greater peace of mind comes over me knowing that I have choose a greater good. All the confusions that was in my mind vanish and greater good of knowing that the Holy Spirit now is leading the way on my journey. Sometimes it is hard for us to accept what God wants for us but I know I am happy because I choose the greater good, which is God’s will over me. God has let me choose because he wants me to be happy not just by the decision that I make but the heart that is renewed and full of peace and contentment. It is still a long way for us we are always in the process of discerning but God will always be there for us

 

Discernment is surrendering, it is knowing God’s will is for us and desiring what God wants for us.

 

“Yet not what I want, but what you want” Matthew 26:39

For an overseer, as God’s steward, must be above reproach. He must not be arrogant or quick-tempered or a drunkard or violent or greedy for gain, but hospitable, a lover of good, self-controlled, upright, holy, and disciplined. He must hold firm to the trustworthy word as taught, so that he may be able to give instruction in sound doctrine and also to rebuke those who contradict it. For there are many who are insubordinate, empty talkers and deceivers, especially those of the circumcision party. They must be silenced, since they are upsetting whole families by teaching for shameful gain what they ought not to teach. … -Titus 1 : 7-14

They said being leader can either be functional or relational. Before I really don’t see the difference between the two but I know I am more of a functional leader. And being more of a functional leader I focus more of how to do my roles by the book. Later did I realize that being such kind of a person started to lose my connection with my fellow leaders. Focusing more on my role rather than building a relationship with my counterpart in leadership. My pride and ego has taken over me on how I relate to my other counterpart and started to build a wall in front of me,

 

Last weekend I attended the Christian Personal Relationship Weekend Retreat. This retreat was God’s answer to my prayer. This weekend was a healing process for me. Realizing what has been missing in my role as a Unit Head. It started and ended with honoring one another which I believe what we should be doing instead of finding fault with one another. Honestly my struggles with my sister counterpart was getting to a point that I don’t want to talk to them because in my mind we won’t be agreeing anymore and it will open more wound than stitching it back together. But God is great He knows how to heal things and give us a renewed heart. He knew what we need and He will give to you generously. Last Saturday after listening to all the talk and praying for the healing that I need I decided to open up and talk to my sister counterpart. We started by emptying our selves and asking for forgiveness with one another. Taking away all the pride and ego and focusing on what we are anointed for. I was worried first but God’s hand was working in our heart that time. It always gets us back what God has instructed us: Loving God and loving your neighbors, with that I don’t need to question anymore. My weekend was a blessed and victorious one with all the healing that we received. We decided to start a new chapter a new beginning.  And for that may God be praised.

 

Let us build a house where love can dwell and all can safely live,
a place where saints and children tell
how hearts learn to forgive.
Built of hopes and dreams and visions,
rock of faith and vault of grace;
HERE THE LOVE OF CHRIST SHALL END DIVISIONS.
All are welcome, all are welcome,
all are welcome in this place

I cannot pray Our, if my faith has no room for others and their needs.
I cannot pray Father, if I do not demonstrate this relationship to God in my daily living.
I cannot pray who art in heaven, if all of my interests and pursuits are in earthly things.
I cannot pray hallowed be thy name, if I am not striving, with God’s help, to be holy.
I cannot pray thy kingdom come, if I am unwilling to accept God’s rule in my life.
I cannot pray thy will be done, if I am unwilling or resentful of having it in my life.
I cannot pray on earth as it is in Heaven, unless I am truly ready to give myself to God’s service here and now.
I cannot pray give us this day our daily bread, without expending honest effort for it, or if I would withhold from my neighbor the bread that I receive.
I cannot pray forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us, if I continue to harbor a grudge against anyone.
I cannot pray lead us not into temptation, if I deliberately choose to remain in a situation where I am likely to be tempted.
I cannot pray deliver from evil, if I am not prepared to fight evil with my life and my prayer.
I cannot pray thine is the kingdom, if I am unwilling to obey the King.
I cannot pray thine is the power and the glory, if I am seeking power for myself and my own glory first.
I cannot pray forever and ever, if I am too anxious about each day’s affairs.
I cannot pray Amen, unless I honestly say, “Cost what it may, this is my prayer.”
-Anonymous

I came across this poem while I’m trying to reflect on my prayer time. Its been a week for me of struggling with my work and honestly, I’m coming to the end. I have been trying my best to reflect and pray for all the things that has been happening regarding my job. I always tell my self that this is what I need even though this is not what I want. But the stress and anxiety is getting deeper lately. They said, “Pray hard it works” but how can I pray hard if my body is not cooperating? How can I have a one on one relationship if my heart feels thirsty? I know it’s a test for my patience and I am sure that this wont last long.

A brother ask me today “How can you keep up with SFC and work life. Are you enjoying it right now?” My answer to him is “No its not a joyful life but I choose it because I discern for it and I have to keep up with it”. Yes, I discern for it and pray for it for over a year before I decide that I will apply for the MV program. If I did not decide to go for it then I would not see the difference that it would make for my life. I would not see the difference because I just stayed in my comfort zone and did not challenge my self to do extra mile of service. If I did not say yes, I would not understand the life and mission of CFC and SFC and I would still be questioning my self why did I join SFC.

Most of the stuff right now is a challenge. A challenge that I am enjoying because this reminds me why I said Yes to the mission. With this I CAN ONLY PRAY:

 

Glory to the Father, for of His unconditional love

and to the Son, for His redeeming love

and to the Holy Spirit, for His guiding love

As it was in the beginning, as His promise for us

and now, as His journey for us

and ever shall be, as His plan for us

world without end, as His forever for us

Amen, as His will be done

-Michael Cabahug

Come to me and surrender

Offer yourself and render

Value the gifts and blessing

Elevate yourself in serving

Never go back to the old way

Always follow the One way

No one will be lost

Together we will last

 

This week was another victorious week for the Lord in my area, as a new set of Singles for Christ finished their Christian Life Program. I was so excited for this week to see the new brothers and sisters say yes to the Lord and received their covenant with God.

Before the dedication ceremony on my South Chapter I was asked to give the talk 11- The Life and Mission of Singles for Christ to the North Chapter of Calgary. It was for me a refresher of what my life and mission should be as an SFC. As I was preparing for my talk it makes me go back to the time that I had some question on the Philosophy and the Covenant of SFC. I remember that before I became SFC I had a different point of view regarding some of the points that was listed of them. That is the reason why I did not sign my covenant right away. I was scared that time that if I signed the covenant I will be tied up to an agreement that I would probably break in the future. My thinking that time is that this covenant not just with SFC but my covenant with God. I’m worried because I don’t want to fail Him again if I wasn’t able to do all the things listed. It took me a while until I finally signed the covenant and try as much as I could to follow and fulfill my covenant. And until now I always try my best to lived with that covenant.

That covenant always reminded me of the YES that I made when I became an SFC. Every time that I’m starting to feel dry and lost with what I’m doing I always look back on to it as my reminder and my guide that this what my agreement with God and that no matter what I’m going thru God is always with me on my journey.

“and I will remember My covenant, which is between Me and you and every living creature of all flesh; and never again shall the water become a flood to destroy all flesh” Genesis 9:15

“When the day of Pentecost came, they were all together in one place. Suddenly a sound like the blowing of a violent wind came from heaven and filled the whole house where they were sitting. They saw what seemed to be tongues of fire that separated and came to rest on each of them. All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other tongues as the Spirit enabled them.” Acts 2:1-4

Yesterday was the celebration of the day of Pentecost and thru the receiving of the Holy Spirit we gain two dimension an inward and an outward dimension as it was discussed in talk 9 of the Christian Life Program. First is an inward dimension, a new nature, an spiritual power. Each of us when we let Holy Spirit to work on us we gain a new heart, a real heart. The old and stony heart is removed and replace with a new heart. It gives us a sense of peace and let us surrender everything to our God. It makes do things that we don’t usually do before. These might not be an abrupt change but a gradual change that we might not notice right away but will become part of our life as we go thru our journey. I could still remember how things have changes after I let the Holy Spirit lead the way for me. As I have said it is not an instant change but things were much easier than before. I can always say that I am still a work in progress but I am happy with what have happened after I let the Holy Spirit leads me.

And thru that inward dimension comes the outward dimension that we gain from receiving the Holy Spirit it is the power to serve. From the scriptures, we can recall that after the disciples receives the power of the Holy Spirit. All of them started to do the mission, Peter and the other disciples started to preach and perform healing and miracles not just in the town that they are in but started to go to the farthest town that they could go to do the great commission that Jesus had told them to do. Just like being an SFC we are all call for the great commission, we are all called live by our covenant and continue the great work that the Holy Spirit has done for us. Each of us has a mission given to us and it doesn’t necessarily a big one but it should always start first within ourselves next to our family then our household and our community. There are a lot of things that we could do to continue the mission but we should always focus that all the things we are doing is to glorify our God and that we should always offer everything to God.

There is still a lot for us to do after we allow the Holy Spirit to work in us. I just always pray that we continue to guide us in every step of our journey to continue his mission and live by the covenant that we have.

”Now the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain to which Jesus had directed them. And when they saw him they worshiped him, but some doubted. And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” Mathew 28: 16-20

“You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you” -John15:16

This weekend was a blessed one for me as I was able to go for my first mission trip together with my fellow SFC mission volunteer here in Alberta to Fort McMurray. I serve in their Knight Tales Retreat. It was only a two day stay there but it feels like a lot had happened during the weekend. From our travel to our retreat up to the attending a mass for the ordination of a deacon.

The Travel- From my place in Claresholm Alberta the travel was supposedly more than 8 hours non-stop but I had to do some stops to pick up the other co-MV in Calgary and Edmonton, Mark, Gem and Vince, that will also serve on the KT/PD Retreat. I started my travel at 4 pm. The drive was good until we got to a road block due to an accident and had to go to a detour that makes the travel longer. We had to travel around and unfortunately the GPS and cellphone signal was not on our side- in short, we got lost a few times and missed some of our turns. The paved road ended and we started to drive on a gravel road. That is the time that I started to get worried but I believed God has a better plan. I know that even though we were worried we just decided to just enjoy the company of one another in the car and started to interact and have fun. Our travel got extended to 3 more hours as we arrived around 4:40am in Fort McMurray. But I was happy because we were able to make new friends and share stories.

The Retreat- The Knight’s Tale Retreat is part of the first-year formation for a brother in SFC. It talks about Manhood and I was so blessed to able to share my journey together with all my brother Knights and participants in Fort McMurray. I was assigned to cook with Mark and give a talk. I was also able to explore my musicality to do percussion instrument (the cajon). This retreat had really push me to do the extra mile service for my brothers in SFC. Sharing my journey and stories to the younger brothers. We did a lot of activities and it really give me a better perspective about my mission and journey here at SFC. It made me refresh all the learning that I got when I attended my Knights tale retreat. I really enjoy the walk to Emmaus activity because it made me recommit again 2 people that I want to bring back to God.  Being with the brothers for the whole weekend makes me look forward and be excited for the vocation that I want to choose from. They say SFC is a transitory ministry under the Couple for Christ. This is where we decide if we are for the married life, single blessedness or for the holy orders. And whatever vocation we choose God will always be the center of it.

 

The Northern Lights- Just a bonus for our mission, I was able to see the Nothern Lights once again. It reminded me of God’s Love and His magnificent with all of its creation.

The Ordination- On our last day in Fort McMurray we attended a mass for the ordination of a new deacon of the church. Although I don’t know personally the new Deacon Jestoni Porras, I was so happy for him because he was able to fulfill his call for the vocation. I was so moved when he said the phrase “I am Yours” to the crowd. Everybody cheer for him. I was asking myself when will I be able to say that. When will I be able to say that “I am fully Yours Lord”, no matter what vocation I choose from. I’m looking for ward for that day. Im looking forward that God will give me my hearts desire for my vocation. And I will continue praying for the vocation that God had plan for. For the meantime, I will continue to enjoy my journey and focus on the mission that God has given me.

 

My road to vocation is still a long way. Along the journey I will meet a lot of people that will also join me on my adventure, people that will make the travel fun and enjoyable and make the travel easy. Sometimes we will encounter pit stops, detours and blockage but I know I’m with the people that God put in my life, so I don’t have to worry. I may only see a few kilometers in front of me but I know where I’m going.

”In the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groaning too deep for words; and He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.”- Romans 8: 26-27

Last Saturday was the Receiving of the Holy Spirit Talk for our Christian Life Program. I was assigned to deliver the talk for that session. It was the most peaceful talk I have given ever since I served in the community. Everything really went well and I really did not see that it will that calm and peaceful for the whole session. We could really feel that the Holy Spirit was with us the whole time.

Prior to that I was becoming anxious and worried about the day of the pray over session because this will be the first time that I will deliver talk 9. I decided to focus more on my prayer time and read the scriptures to understand more of what He wants me to do during the pray over session. I have decided to do the Angelus as well as the Rosary everyday and it really helped me a lot to focus on the vision the He wants me to see. Everything was working so well until Friday comes. Everything just comes and pour in at the same time. Then suddenly, I have problems at work and with the other service team leaders. Frustration started to haunt me again.

That Friday night I really couldn’t sleep so I decided to put myself into praying until I got tired and fall asleep, when I wake up it was very light and calm and all the things that worries me vanished. It was one of the best morning I had knowing that God is leading me that day. I did not know what happen but I do know that the Holy Spirit had touch my heart to remove all my worries. I know it is His work again in me. Then afternoon came, aside from doing the talk, I had also to oversee the CLP since our Couple Coordinator is on their CFC Conference but everything really went well, everybody cooperates and I did my talk in the best way that I could imagine doing it. Again, all I could says it that it is the work of the Holy Spirit. It was again another victorious day for us because we have once again become an instrument to send the message and power of the Holy Spirit. And we know that the Holy Spirit will be with us because he is always inside in each and everyone. May the Lord always Bless us always in our journey.

“But thanks be to God, who in Christ always leads us in triumphal procession, and through us spreads the fragrance of the knowledge of him everywhere.”- 2 Corinthians 2:14