Author: Kris Gardiner

Absolutely

     Lover of my soul, I want to tell You only You have all of me. I cannot contain my adoration, I’m in love so desperately. No one is as lovely as You are. There is no one else who has my heart.

Jesus, You have me completely.

     Every breath that I breathe, I am absolutely in love. Jesus, I am Yours forever. All of me surrenders. I am absolutely in love with You.

     Sometimes I can formulate my depths into breath. Other times, certain songs or prayers convey it perfectly. Usually, there are no words that can describe.

Ultimately, my love for You Lord is simple.

Free

     Death frees us from a state where we are able to experience suffering, be hungry, thirsty, afflicted, aged, or ill. Christ defeated death, being free from it. Therefore, living a life according to Christ frees us from death. When we live a life of Christ, we are free from death, suffering, hunger, thirst, affliction, age, illness, and suffering. We do not need experience death to experience the sacredness of heaven. We need only to live a life of Christ. We can then defeat death like He did. However, we will never be totally similar to Christ. Our conviction, dedication, and love for Him will be acknowledged by the Lord. We need only to try our best, to our fullest capacity, and God will fill us to reach the 100% and then some. We can experience heaven without experiencing death. To be in heaven is to be in total communion with Christ.

Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.

Saints

saints

Hagiography [hag-ee-og-ruh-fee]
the study of the lives of the saints.

“I will be their God and they will be my children.” – Rev. 21:7

Last Sunday, a few brothers and sisters from my household, along with myself, took a road trip to the states to celebrate mass and visit Fatima Shrine. I’ve always heard of youth going there with their families but this was my first time visiting. When we entered the church, the first thing I noticed was the way the pews surrounded the altar. So much so that it seemed like the altar was completely invading the space of the congregation. The next thing I noticed was a red flame burning on the Paschal candle. I wondered why the candle burned a bold red; usually candles within a church burn a bright yellow.

After the mass, all of us separated to explore the different areas of the shrine, having our own personal prayer time. After spending some time inside of the church, I exited the church and began walking outside around the gardens of the shrine. I heard that Blessed John Paul II would frequently take walks outside and pray the rosary, and so I did as well. I was amazed to discover dozens and dozens of statues of the saints, it was so beautiful. My heart was so full of joy and wonder, thinking about the various hundreds of people that devoted their life completely to Christ. As I walked through the garden, it felt as if I was meeting each saint personally. I would look into the eyes of each statue and I could feel the different personalities of each saint. I thought that this was what heaven must be like. Imagine being able to personally meet each and every saint that ever existed, what an amazing experience that would be!

As I was coming to the end of meeting all the saints in the garden, I realized something. Right now, I am so focused and worried on where the Lord will lead me and what my vocation will be. I realized that no matter where God calls me, whether that would be religious life, full-time pastoral work, marriage, or single blessedness, all I know is that I want to be a saint. Every time a saint is canonized, it is reminder of God’s call for us to fully surrender to Him. Also, with the life of every saint, God shows us the infinite extent of His transforming power, if we can say yes to Him.

As I reflect now, the way the church in the shrine was set up reflects on the essentials of the life of a saint. Primarily, the person’s life must be invaded by the living and breathing presence of Christ, if you recall the invasion of the altar into the congregation. Secondly, the red flame on the Paschal candle signifies the blood of the saints, as their lives were all willingly offered for the glory of God the Father!

We are all called to live a life fit for a saint. It is in this holiness that we are worthy of being sons and daughters of Christ! To be a saint is to offer to God what He has given us; our time, talents, treasures, and most of all our lives. The Lord desires for our yes, so that He can shower us with an unending, overflowing, limitless, ocean of His love. To be a saint is to fully surrender ourselves to Christ. To be a saint is to offer our lives as a sacrifice in union with Christ’s ultimate sacrifice. To be a saint is to trust in the unconditional faithfulness of the Lord so that we may be fearless.

Almighty Father, stir up within us the constant desire to pursue You and the holiness that You freely provide for us. May Catholics everywhere realize their personal call to sainthood and the importance of the sanctity of life. Fill in us the thirst and hunger to know You more. Grant us with everything we need to bravely answer the call to devote our lives fully to You, in accordance with Your Will. Pray for us, all angels and saints. Amen.

The Shore

“Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified.“It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear. But Jesus immediately said to them:
“Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”
“Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”
“Come,” he said.
Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”
Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him.
“You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”
And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.”
– Matthew 14:25-33

Like Peter, the first time we answer to His calling for us in our life we usually doubt a lot and we experience many difficulties in our attempt to pursue the Lord. Our focus quickly loses it’s purpose and we become self indulged and our vision becomes narrow. Also, similar to Peter, we lack faith despite the numerous times the Lord has proven Himself to us. Countless times has the Lord proved Himself to me, even when He didn’t need to, and still my pride would get the best of me. Today, the Lord showed me, through Peter, a place where I want my faith to be.

“Then the disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, “It is the Lord!” As soon as Simon Peter heard him say, “It is the Lord,” he wrapped his outer garment around him (for he had taken it off) and jumped into the water.”
– John 21:7

Upon realization, Peter was quick to jump out of the boat and go to Jesus, despite what happened last time he decided to go after Jesus across the water. I yearn to have as strong a will as Peter, when he decided to abandon the boat. In that moment, nothing else mattered to Peter except Jesus Christ. Nothing would get in the way of Peter getting to Jesus, not even the water that once caused him to sink. There was no doubt, no fear, no worry, only joy. How I long for that true joy because of Christ’s presence in my life.

A Salesian sister, Sr. Pat, shared with the leaders of the GTA the meaning of true joy today. She said that we are all living in the ocean, where the waves of our trials crash. The shore is the only thing that is able to bring peace to these waves, when they settle as they graze the grains of the sand. We are Peter, travelling across the heavy waters as we look to Jesus on the shore.

Heavenly Father, guide us in our pursuit of Your love and joy. May we never stray too far from the shore. Allow us to one day experience the peace that comes from being with You on the sands. May our lives never lose focus and may Your Name reign in our lives forever. Amen.

Confirmation


As I prepare for a talk I am to give to grade 8 students who are preparing for Confirmation, I decided to go through my old Confirmation scrapbook. It’s an amazing feeling to rediscover the person you were before and I couldn’t help but laugh at myself when I read my letter to the pastor of my parish.

“One reason I really want to go through with Confirmation is because I want to be closer to God. I want to be closer to God because soon I will be passing grade eight in elementary school and I will go straight to high school for grade 9. In high school there will be a lot of pressure in doing bad things that I do not want to do and the pressure will just grow higher and higher. There are many different characters in high school and I will need all the help I can get. I also need God because high school will also pile homework on top of me. I need help from God to help me keep my strength in completing my homework.”

If only I could revert back to a time where I had a child-like faith and when I thought high school homework was the hardest thing to do.

The Lord does not ask too much of us. Sometimes I think that the Lord piles a lot of weight on my shoulders but sometimes that’s just me piling it on myself. What the Lord asks of us is very simple, He asks us to love Him. That’s it. He doesn’t ask us to conquer the world, but only that we go to Him whenever we feel conquered by it. We must remember that we are children, vulnerable and often foolish. In humility, we must learn to always turn to the Lord in our inequities. Why should we turn to a world that is relentless without mercy when our God is relentlessly merciful? It’s the child-like faith that allows us to trust in our Father without doubt, without fear, and without failure.

Always has the Lord been there for us and always has He shown Himself to us; it is us that forgets the warmth of His embrace. As I browse my Confirmation scrapbook, I am able to witness the ways in my life in which the Lord has guided me. The victory is already won in that the Lord has already claimed my life. The closing prayer is my personal prayer made during my preparation for Confirmation.

By the way, my Confirmation saint is St. Francis Xavier.

Dear God, please give me the strength to live each day to the fullest. Protect those who are dear to me. I believe in only one God. I believe in only one faith. Keep me strong and keep my Catholic Faith alive. My life is to You, my love is to You. Protect my soul and repel me from every evil. Amen.

Noise

Lord, how I long to be with You.

I’m currently readying myself to become a college graduate as I tackle a high pile of final projects and prepare for my final exams. I share in the stress and struggle of post-secondary students everywhere during this season and similar to many of my peers, I dread this time. I dread it not because of the amount of work that needs to be done, but because it is harder for me to spend time with the Lord in solitude.

I know that no matter where I am or what I am doing, God is always with me, but am I with Him? I find a great disturbance in my prayer when my mind is attached to a schedule of deadlines and ongoing tasks. There is so much noise, my mind is too clouded. I find myself talking more instead of listening in the silence, instead of just being in His presence.

I’m easily focused on the things that are right in front of me. I find myself in a situation similar to the disciples on their way to Emmaus when they were so focused on the Crucifixion instead of the living Christ that was walking among them. Lord, shift my focus on You. Whenever I complete something with my focus on the surface, all I receive is a surface level satisfaction, one that will not last. I must learn to look deeper and focus on the God that is within everything, working in everything, in order that I may have a deeper fulfillment, one that is everlasting. I long for something only the Lord can satisfy and I need to be more sensitive in His presence within my life, even if it’s in my projects, my exam, and even my secular friends.

Lord, allow me the grace to see You move in my life. Make me sensitive to your Holy Spirit and continue to guide me so that I may not lose sight of You. May I notice Your every step, as You walk with me to Emmaus. Amen.

Alleluia!

Christ has risen! The Lord has blessed us all today. His resurrection restores us in ways our minds cannot even begin to fathom. The outpouring of God’s love on Good Friday was so extreme, it overcame death and we all know the endlessness of His love. Today, I witnessed the overflowing fount of His love as it flowed through my family.

I’ve always wondered what it would be like if my whole family served the Lord.

While journeying in this community, it is inevitable to grow in the desire for the whole family to serve God, especially as a young devoted Catholic. In the past I have been envious of other families where all members served, regardless if it was related to the CFC ministries or not. I’ve experienced the greatness of God in my life and I wanted my family to experience Him more than I was. The Lord softened my heart by revealing to me His faithfulness.

It’s becoming more rare, especially now that we’re growing older, that my immediate family is complete, even for a meal. Usually we’re separated by our different schedules and finding time to all be together is difficult, but our God is generous. My older brother was able to make it home for the long weekend, my parents were off from work, my sister was free for the most part (one work shift), and my schedule was empty. We spent the entire Saturday watching movies and enjoying each other’s company, not too often do we have time to do that. On Easter morning, we all had breakfast together. I may be wrong, but I don’t think we had breakfast altogether, at the house, in years! Praise God. We then headed to mass together, something that we haven’t done together in a while. God is so great! The Lord then brought forth a surprise that brought the warmest joy to my heart. An usher asked my family to serve as part of the offertory procession. Our God is so awesome! My family agreed and this was our first experience serving the Lord together, as one family.

The Lord definitely grants us the deepest desires of our hearts. Jesus is the source of love and unity. He showed me today that He has plans for my family and that we’ll journey together in His time. Christ did not only die for my sins and conquer the grave, which is more than I could ever ask for, but He continues to bless my family in overwhelming abundance.

Thank You Lord. Thank You for Your Son, Jesus Christ. Thank You for His passion and resurrection. Thank You for my family. May You always be the center of our lives. Help us to love one another as You have loved us and aid us in sharing the blessings that You shower  us with every single day. All praise and glory to You Almighty! Amen.