Author: Kevin Solis

Since the beginning of September, I have been blessed with many moments in my livelihood as a teacher. I think yesterday topped them all.

I was called in to substitute a Christian Education 8 class and I had to continue with the lesson on Noah and the Flood. These students were very hesitant and I could tell they did not like talking in front of the class which is often expected of Grade 8s. The teacher left me with a question to help lead a class discussion. The first one asked the students, “When have their been times in your life in which you wanted to do something but you didn’t because you were afraid of what others would think of you?” I had them discuss in groups of 3 or 4 first before bringing the class together. The typical responses came about – avoiding the girl eating lunch by herself, afraid of wearing her unique style, not playing their favourite sport because a certain other sport was more favourable among his friends. I asked what do all of these stories have in common and the answer simply was fear and judgment.

I then asked them to think about a time in their life where God was telling them to do something but were afraid to do it because of the ridicule and mockery they would get from their friends and family. Many students became totally open, talking about their love for God and their hesitancy to go to mass by themselves or to ask their family to go with them. And then all of a sudden it started to click for them. To help them out, I asked how many of them watched the movie “Evan Almighty” and you could tell from their faces that they started to really enjoy the lesson I was delivering and we talked about Evan’s life before the call, during the call, and after the call. They were getting so excited at this point. See, people though that Noah and Evan were completely mental – receiving a message from God to build an ark in preparation for the flood. They were ridiculed and mocked because of their faith in believing that this message was true. Their families must have thought they were crazy as well!

One student in particular got my thinking gears going even more. She shared about how she loved reading stories from the Bible, she loved praying, she totally and completely loved God and was proud that she could remember the stories from the Bible so well. Then she started to forget because she knew that her friends didn’t care for that stuff, thought of her as weird and a Jesus-lover. I asked how she felt because of these judgements and she told me that she was really sad.

And so I asked this question, “How many of you have a favourite sport you play or thing you do?” And everyone’s hands shot up. I had examples of playing basketball, singing, dancing, performing, everything and anything. I asked why they loved doing these things and they said because they were totally passionate for it. I asked do they love playing with others and performing in front of others and sharing what they love with others and they said yes, yes, yes!

And so, (the build up, because teaching is a performative art), I finally said, “If we are so keen, so passionate, so willing to share something we love to and with others, why is it that we are so hesitant and afraid to share to others about someone we love?”

I received a round of applause after I said this and I could tell that they understood where I was getting at. They left the classroom saying bye to me and that this was their favourite Christian Ed class yet.

Why is it though when we are faced with issues of faith we shrivel up and keep to ourselves? Why is it that we are afraid to go as the Spirit leads us with the gifts we are given to bring the kingdom of God here on Earth? Why do we hesitate to invite our friend and family members to CLPs and camps so that they can grow in their relationship with Christ?

So today, think about situations where you can defend your faith, to share the love you have for the Lord to others through random acts of kindness. And if you can’t share, then ask yourselves how you can grow in the Spirit and grow in your relationship with Him by getting to know Him more through the Sacraments or learning more about him by reading the Bible or the Catechism.

What is your passion? How can you use this to bring the love of God to others in your life?

The more I think about leading the upcoming CLP for SFC Vancouver West Chapter, the more I am constantly drawn to our mother. The Lord blessed me with such an amazing counterpart (no joke Charf) and such an awesome counterpart duo (Paolo and Laurie – one of a kind) to help serve the Lord through these participants.

The theme of our CLP is Rejoice and it comes form Luke 1:47 after the Angel Gabriel announces to Mary that she will give birth to the Saviour of the World:

“And my Spirit rejoices in God my Saviour.”

Rejoice – to feel or show great delight. I would say that I am a person that exudes joy, so much joy that allows others to feel joy in their own lives despite the situation that they are in. I can turn a situation around with a smile, a joke, and a laugh. Recently, not so much. I let my insecurities take over my perception of me and the world around me to the point where I think I am not worthy of anything, not even love from the Lord. Sometimes, I think I am so alone in my life journey. I don’t want to have my problems be a burden to others in their state of happiness.

I constantly think about what Mary’s life was like – knowing that she was meant for something greater than she could have ever imagined for herself; knowing that she was to conceive of a child with the Holy Spirit; knowing the ridicule her husband would have received if word were to come out that he was not the father; knowing that 33 years later she would have to witness her Beloved Son beaten, tortured, harassed, scourged, mocked, despised, and spat on; knowing that in His last few hours she would have to look up at Him drenched in tears and cloaked in sadness and despair asking herself, “What could I have done to have spared Him such a fate?”

Even though our Mother and Queen was probably at the weakest she ever felt seeing her dying, butchered, mangled son, Jesus still found enough strength in all his being to give her the best son that could possibly take care of her. Even in his sweat and blood, in his failing strength, and weary spirit, Jesus loved His mother so much to do this for her.

When we are at our weakest, the Lord is at His strongest.

This entire week, the Lord has given me affirmation upon affirmation upon affirmation. He continues to show me how much He loves me by blessing me with so many people who truly love and care for me, who are willing to drop whatever they are doing whenever I need a friend, whether it’s through a simple text message (or series of messages), picking me up and taking me out to grab a bite to eat, or being seriously upfront with me no matter how hard the message was.

We are never alone in this world, Brothers and Sisters in Christ, for if God is for us, who can be against us. Let Mary and the Holy Spirit be your guide friends. They will help you see the way. And they will rejoice when you have found it.

It’s crazy what we will do for love. It’s crazy what others will do to seek a deep relationship with a significant other, to be able to fall asleep on the phone knowing that the person on the other side fell asleep with you in mind. It’s nice knowing that someone has your back emotionally and that someone is always thinking of you.

Right now my heart is everywhere. It is overjoyed at the victory that was True North Conference, with all the friendships I made and revelations given to me that weekend. It is burning with the desire to pursue full time pastoral work, to evangelize, and to glorify the Lord by my life. It is also marvelling at the success of completing the Bachelor of Education program at UBC no matter how hard the struggles and how numerous the trials.

But it is also tied down, bruised, beaten by everything else around me. It’s hard being the bread-winner for the family when I am so limited in the hours I get at work. It’s a struggle when you have two of your high school principals say just give them a call when the program is over so that they can get you into the Catholic education system right way but you can’t really apply for anything right now because you can’t print out the transcripts to apply to said jobs due to the fact that you still owe an outstanding amount for tuition. It’s hard not having a license because unfortunately you crashed the family car when you still had your L and are afraid to go back to the licensing office to inquire about getting it again. But, I think it’s super, ridiculously hard wanting the best for your ex-girlfriend but also being jealous that she was able to move on so quickly and have another guy to pursue her who, from the sounds of him, is perfect for her and even better than I could ever be (self-perception, yes).

But in all of these things, I have a heart that simply desires the will of the Lord because I know that what He wants of me is what is best for me. There are so many times though that I fail to see this. I fail to acknowledge that my heart is worth something to Him no matter what state it is in. That the Lord will use me in my brokenness to bring Him the greater glory.

Lord, allow me to use my situation to bless others.

I love You and I need You, Lord. Mama Mary, help me to see my worth. Papa Joseph, pray for me that I may truly be the man I am needed to be with my family and friends, in my leadership, in my lifestyle, in my livelihood, and, most especially, in my love life.

On Monday, I gave a teaching to the SFCs here in Vancouver on discernment. I did not question the discernment of my pastoral heads who gave me this talk because I really think this is exactly what I needed. I spent a weekend working through this talk – wondering what points I needed to emphasize, making sure my animations are on point, that my jokes were inserted properly and subtly throughout my talk.

The day of the teaching, I had to be at work. I had no time to review my talk going from work to the venue. Buses and skytrains were full so I couldn’t exactly pull out my talk outline and make sure that my powerpoint was okay. And to be honest, going into it, I was not totally confident in giving it.

After being prayed over and having our teaching night delayed a little bit, I was able to ask God simply to let His Spirit speak through me. And I heard Him say this:

God wants nothing from us but us.

God doesn’t just make us go through our daily struggles, our favourite sins, and be done with us. He doesn’t send us to court a sister/be courted by a brother and then in a couple months time realize that he/she is not the One and abandon us. He doesn’t call us to serve for TNC to the fullest only to leave us by our lonesome when all is said and done. He wants us, totally and completely. Especially in discernment, He wants to be included in our choices between the good and greater good, the greater good being His will for us. If we choose the greater good, brothers and sisters, why can’t we trust that the Lord will bless us in the fullest because we chose what He wants for us?

“This is my cry, my one desire, just to be where You are Lord, now and forever.”

Let us remember, brothers and sisters, that when we are faced with difficult decisions, Jesus Christ faced the most difficult decision of all. Let us also remember the words He spoke in the garden of Gethsemane when we offer our choices, our will, to God:

“Yet not what I want, but what You want.” – Matthew 28:39

Two days ago, I had a Skype conversation with my Best Friend. We’ve known each other for four years now and our conversations have shifted in a sense. Whenever I would talk to her in our earlier years, she would normally talk about how good God is in her life and how she’s so happy and all these other things while I would be the one who would be so negative and be all “Why God, why?” because of the situations in my life. However, since joining SFC and being involved in the Mission Volunteer Program, my life and and what I say in my conversations with her have completely gone 180.

What’s interesting now is that the tables have turned on her end. I won’t go into details about what we talked about. All you need to know is that she is currently in a situation right now which has made her revisit issues and emotions she encountered that really hurt her years before. It was so bad for her that she admitted she was angry with God, and she never has been and never wanted to be. She expressed how happy she is for me but feels so bad for herself and how she finds it so difficult to love God and to love this person who causes her so much pain.

Listening to her recount how much she was hurting, how deeply affected she is by her situation made me come back to the Second Reading last Sunday in Paul’s letter to the Romans:

“For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” – Romans 8:38-39

And I truly believe this. Kuya Noli Manuel said that, “Our God is a God that cannot be outdone in generosity.” Gelo said that, “God will not put us in a situation where He cannot bless us.” I told her two stories that greatly affected me in my life in terms of loving someone who it seemed impossible to love – the day I found out my dad was cheating on my mom (I’ll save this for another post another day), and the phone call I received from one of the new members in my Household.

When I was younger, I wrote a blog post on an epiphany that I encountered. A brother in the community decided it was funny to take the post that I wrote and point out all the errors I made and to speak negatively on the ideas that I presented in it. I harboured a lot of anger and hate towards this particular individual – I unfriended him on Facebook, spoke bad about him behind his back, and completely distanced myself from him. When I found out that he was being placed in my Household, I complained to my HHH and expressed that I wanted him moved to a different Household. He of course told me to pray about it and when I did, I was able to figure out that the Lord was calling me to love him more. So I included him our group conversations, acknowledged him and caught up with him whenever we saw each other, even mentioned things about him that he never told me about. After TNC, he gave me a phone call and apologized to me for any of the hurts that he caused me. All I was able to say was, “You’re in my Household bro. I am called to love you. The past is past. Let’s work on the now and the future.”

I advised my Best Friend that God continues to put us in situations where He will bless us tremendously if we allow him to do so, that we should conduct ourselves in the same way Paul professes, that nothing in this world can ever separate us from the love of God, that in her situation right now God desires to love her so much more then what she sees lacking in her life right now. After telling her these stories and pointing out this passage to her, she expressed her desire to punch me because I was right, yet she had more than a week to do so while she was here in Vancouver for TNC.  I am forever grateful that the Lord blessed me with our friendship and that we are able to not only grow with each other that we are also able to bless one another.

Ever since TNC, I have been filled with so much joy in my life, seeing the positive out of everything. And the Lord has been nothing short of good in my life.

We opened today’s Educational Psychology lecture with the instructor playing Pharell’s “Happy” and, if you know me, you would know that I can’t help but dance. So, from my chair, while everyone else was just doing whatever, I danced and clapped along to the song.

We looked at Kübler-Ross’s 5 stages of Grief and we applied it to our experience in the Bachelor of Education program. Our instructor asked for examples from us to share and I decided to volunteer. Before I could share however, she asked what my name was and told me in front of everyone else in the lecture hall that she really liked me. I was hesitant to ask why but when I did the answer was so simple  – because I always smiled at her. In a class of 150 students, she would be able to point me out in the crowd because I always smiled at her. That brought total joy to her heart and certainly to mine.

I decided to share about my feelings in a lecture of about 150 aspiring educators. Ever since Grade 6, I’ve known that I was always going to be a teacher. However, since I joined the Mission Volunteer Program, I’ve felt the Lord tug on my heartstrings towards a path that I never saw myself in. I shared with these people my desire to be a missionary, to be a Full Time Pastoral Worker for Couples For Christ. That even though I’ve had this desire in my heart to be a teacher all this time, that even though I’ve had the desire to be married and raise a family, these desires have been superseded by my desire to go full-time for the Lord in CFC. It felt so good to have been able to acknowledge this with all of my colleagues in the room. And it also helped that my instructor is still to this day a practicing Catholic.

Do I feel bad that I’ve spent so much money on something that I will not end up pursuing right away? Of course not. I feel so much at peace, so full of joy with this decision. I know that the Lord will take care of me wherever I will go, wherever He will lead me.