Author: Justine Yap

Coming back from the Philippines, one of the main things that I missed was going to mass. I thought at the beginning it was just a habit, where if it was replaced by something adventurous or extraordinary in some shape or form, I’ll forget the idea of going to mass. Surprisingly enough, it wasn’t. I missed mass. Having to go to mass once or twice a week didn’t feel right to me anymore.

I learned that it takes 21 days to get into a habit. Having to go to mass almost every single day for the past 2 years and being out of this ‘routine’ for around a month and a half, I thought I’d come back and not have the urge to go to mass again. Praise God that I was filled for 2 years, was continuously filled by His presence while I was away and have the urge to be filled again now.

“When you’ve had the experience of being filled, you end up thirsting for more.”

If we only do what we’re capable of, we would end up with nothing. It’s not us. It’s all God.

13 days until I get to go back to my first home after 3 years, and it’s definitely taking a toll on my entire family, especially for me. From packing, setting up a more firm itinerary for me to be able to see both sides of my family, to buying ‘pasalubong’ for everyone, I can’t help but be reminded of my Grandfather aka my Lolo. It’s been 3 years since he passed away, but I guess since my siblings and I basically grew up in his and my Lola’s care it’s normal to have him to be constantly alive in my heart even though the last time I saw him was 8 years ago. The other day I found myself looking at buttoned up shirts, which he always wore and I pointed it out to my mom, and said that it’d be great on Lolo. Then it hit me, I miss him now more than ever. Although I’ll be able to see my Lola when I get back, it wont be the same because of her severe dementia.

Ever seen The Notebook? Well, think of my Lolo as Noah and my Lola as Allie. My Lola’s dementia became so severe from the time that my family migrated, to the point where there would be times when she wouldn’t know who my Lolo is, or that they’re already married even though they were married for 49 years. I can’t imagine having to constantly love someone who can barely even remember you, yet my Lolo did it for 6 years straight.

A man of patience, love and understanding. The one who lived not to earn as much money that he could obtain, but to teach his children that the love of God is more than enough in order to live a happy life. He loved God so much, that he inspired my dad to discern religious life. The one who taught his grand children how to live simply in order to see more of God in anything and anyone that’s around them. A true man of God.

As much as I’m happy to know that my dad discerned for religious life, I’m extremely thankful know that God’s path led my father to married life. At least I know that my Lolo’s teachings will continue to be taught for generations and generations to come. I can only pray that I may also live a life that’s even remotely close to how he saw it. To become a true woman of God.

Ever had that monent where you feel as though everything is going wrong, and you just don’t wanna do anything. Not even go to mass? To the point where you ask yourself, “What’s the point? Everything’s just going to go wrong anyway.” That my brothers and sisters was my past.

Never ending questions as to why I have to go to mass and pray, when the ending would stay the same anyway. Then I was asked to serve for a camp and was forced to go to confession as one of the “requirements” to serve at a camp, and that was one of the best requirements ever. First thought, as soon as you lift every thing up, then will be the start of you being lifted up to God. It’s very easy to take advantage of the happiness that we feel. Half the time, we feel as though we deserve it, therefore we shouldn’t have to be grateful for them. The reality is brothers and sisters, the happiness that we feel won’t have to be temporary if we keep on trying to get closer to the Lord.

Only our love for the Lord can lead us to true happiness, therefore holiness can lead us to happiness. Let us not focus on the worldly things and keep our mindset to our ending goal, to be with the Lord our God, the True Happiness.

“For just as from the heavens the rain and snow come down and do not return there till they have watered the earth, making it fertile and fruitful, Giving seed to him who sows and bread to him who eats,” -Isaiah 55:10

The first part of today’s first reading was a very heartwarming reminder. It is a reminder that God will give us all of the resources that we need in order for us to continue living. Amazing right? Continuous help, never having to be alone. We tend to get clouded by these facts; that God will never forsake us, yet we always seem to forget what He’s asking of us.

“So shall my word be that goes from my mouth; It shall not return to me void, but shall do my will, achieving the end for which I sent it.” -Isaiah 55:11

We are here to continuously become an instrument of God. A reminder that what we are doing should solely be for Him and Him alone. Being the Lenten season, the same thought should also be kept in mind. We are fasting, because we love God more than anything of this world. God is more important than our time, our weight, our Facebook. Let us continue to focus on how much we love Our Father instead of focusing on the hardships of our fast.

In this mission, forgetting to pray during our busy hours is no longer an option. I myself am guilty at times of trying to figure out as much options as I personally can find in order to find the answer, even before praying when praying should always be the first option. Our lives may be busy because of the events that we plan for the community, but all of these preparations will go nowhere if we’re drifting farther away from our God.

“All who cleanse themselves of the things I have mentioned will become special utensils, dedicated and useful to the owner of the house, ready for every good work.”

2 Timothy 2:21

Every prayer means a step closer to God’s great plan for us. A plan that only He knows, therefore relying solely on our ideas and not in prayer can bring us farther from His plan. Reminding ourselves that all of these preparations is something that we can use to continuously worship Him. Let our every move be a prayer lifted up to our God. Let us always remind ourselves of purity, because only in purity can we let God consume us with His works.

Lord God, allow us to see your love in every struggle. May You provide us the ability to feel You carrying us during our time of need. To feel joy during the chaos and to find peace during our distresses.  Let us be consumed by your love, in order for us to do your plans with your love and your love alone. Amen.

AMDG