Author: John Magtibay

For food that nourishes my body,
for clothes that protect my body,
for a home that provides me shelter,
I am ever so grateful, Father.

For the gift of education,
for a profession that allows me to serve others,
for the opportunity to lead others closer to You,
I am ever so grateful, Father.

I thank You for placing people in my life who love me, care about me, support me, guide me, and never gave up on me.

I thank You for the gift of family,
for the gift of friendships,
for the gift of the Couples for Christ community,
which you have blessed to help mould me in the person that I am today.

Sometimes I don’t realize, especially when I am having a hard time, how much the Lord has blessed me and continues to bless me. It is so easy to complain and to focus on what is missing or lacking, in my weaknesses and shortcomings, especially when I sin. But God loves unconditionally and eternally. There is nothing that I could do to make God stop loving me. To persevere and to deny myself, is but a small fraction of His sacrifice on the cross. I desire to be transformed by Christ’s love.

“Amen, amen, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains just a grain of wheat; but if it dies, it produces much fruit. Whoever loves his life loses it, and whoever hates his life in this world will preserve it for eternal life. Whoever serves me must follow me, and where I am, there also my servant will be. The Father will honour whoever serves me.” JOHN 12:24-26

For the Gospels, Sacraments,
teachings, and readings that nourishes my soul,
I am ever so grateful Father.

For the households, one on ones, assemblies,
and conferences that allow me to journey with others in pursuing you,
I am ever so grateful Father.

I thank You for the gift of faith,
for the gift of hope,
for the gift of love,
which you have blessed to help me strive to live a life centred in You.

It was 5:15 AM.

Her heart was racing; blood pressure rapidly climbing.
Her shoulders rising up and down asynchronous with her breathing.
No setting change in the ventilator could help make her breath easier.
Medications were given, but her body was fighting even harder.
Her brain was not in control anymore;
She was in pain. She was in agony.

A phone call was made to her family, “She is not doing well. You need to come and see her.”

At this point there was nothing more that could be done, but wait for her family to come and make a decision.

It was 6:00 AM.

I do not know what kind of a person she is, or how she lived her life, or if she believed in God, but I knew that she was loved.

It was so hard to see her suffering, knowing that there was nothing I could do to at that moment to ease her pain, but to pray for her. It reminded me of what Mother Mary must have felt as she watched her son Jesus carrying his cross, being whipped, spat at, ridiculed. I went back to my pod and prayed for her.

It was 7:15 AM.

After giving report to the morning shift, I left the department with a heavy heart, hoping that her family would make it at the bedside as she takes her last breath, hoping that her soul may find its way to rest in peace in heaven.