Author: Jesse Roca

If someone asks me a personal question that I don’t feel inclined to answer I usually respond with, “that’s a good question.” What usually ends up happening is that we talk about how I didn’t really answer their question rather than focusing on their initial question itself.

This is a great way to deflect attention.
It’s also a great way to hurt personal accountability with friends and loved ones.

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My worship life has always had a heavy focus on asking for forgiveness and healing just so I can feel ready to come before the Lord in glory. Even when receiving communion I always hesitate on whether or not I’m spiritually worthy to receive Jesus. This is true even on the days where I’ve had the chance to participate in confession.

Over the years I’ve developed ways to selfishly build my life in a way where I only find myself accountable to God and God alone. While this is not necessarily a bad thing, I’m lucky enough to be surrounded by so many amazing people in my life who are genuinely concerned for me and my well being, and so, my low levels of accountability point to a lack of honouring towards those who care about me.

Lord, I want to be an open book so that my life may reflect Your greatness to those whom You have placed in my hands. Help me.

– Jesse R.
“I Am, and We are Missionaries”

“Democracy demands that the religiously motivated translate their concerns into universal rather than religion-specific values… It requires that their proposals be subject to argument and amenable to reason. Now, I may be opposed to abortion for religious reasons, to take one example, but if I seek to pass a law banning the practice I cannot simply point to the teachings of my church or evoke God’s will. I have to explain why abortion violates some principle that is accessible to people of all faiths, including those with no faith at all.” – Barack Obama

Last Sunday I attended mass at St. Joseph’s Oratory here in Montreal with a few brothers and sisters from out of town. St. Jo’s is kind of a tourist hotspot, so before communion they made an announcement asking all those who were not Catholic to refrain from receiving communion.

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Objectively,
I am not better or worse than my peers.
I am not better or worse than my job.

I am,
Not Entitled.

In the eyes of God,
I am not meant for something greater.
rather, I DESIRE something greater.

Objectively, I am. In the eyes of God.

– Jesse R.
“I Am, and We are Missionaries”

I think it’s generally accepted that we are the main characters in the narrative that is our life.

But what if we’re not?

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As a Mission Volunteer for CFC-Youth Canada, the big questions is whether or not I’ll end up applying for full-time pastoral work.

In my ongoing discernment I find myself constantly thinking about what I would have to willingly sacrifice in order for me to fully commit to the mission.

I selfishly think, “How will mission work change MY life?”

I think true dedication to the mission requires a shift in perspective.

God is the main.

I personally think that this is the key to living out a life for Christ without living in constant fear of whether or not everything will be ok. It opens the door to true joy, in that we have complete trust and faith that our God will provide.

God is the main.
He will lead us through a beautiful narrative.

– Jesse R.
“I Am, and We are Missionaries”

In approximately 4 hours I’ll be on a bus leaving Montréal heading to the GTA. Although this is not my first time leaving home for an extended period of time for a CFC-Youth event, this time it feels different.

For the first time in my life, I feel as though I’m leaving home as a missionary.

Praise God.

– Jesse R.
“I Am, and We are Missionaries”

This afternoon I received a plaque celebrating my 5 year anniversary of working at my current job. Around 11pm I decided to go on a small trek with two brothers to visit the Mont Royal Cross just for kicks. Standing in front of that giant illuminated cross that’s visible from all Eastern Montréal, my mind was filled with one phrase.

“I desire something bigger in my life.”

– Jesse R.
“I Am, and We are Missionaries.”

Here we go. Stay with me.

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A lot of early philosophers (I forget exactly who :p) developed the concept that the most accurate representation of anything that we consider to be real, can never be truly expressed through our subjective view on any given object or thing. Since we’re limited by our senses and our own subjective understanding on what we observe, we are unable to accurately experience anything in its purest form, which is simply any given object or things idea of itself.

Put simply, if we consider a chair to be real because we observe it with our senses, it is still not the purest representation of that chair. The purest representation of that chair would be the idea of the chair itself.

The idea of something is what makes it real, not our ability to perceive it in our subjective reality.

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I firmly believe that God’s ultimate expression of love for us is given in the form of free will. What’s interesting about free will is that just because we experience the ability to think and choose, we are still limited by the potential of human understanding and capability. If we didn’t have this limitation then we would be all knowing and all powerful just like the Lord.

So although we’ve been granted free will, it has been given to us within a closed system of human understanding and capability. Closed systems can be consistent, yet never complete.

The beauty of God’s gift of free will is that He allowed for us, within human understanding and capability, to have the ability to imagine. Our imagination is something that we seem to severely take for granted. If reality is based on the idea or concept of an object or thing, rather than our ability to perceive it within our subjective reality, then God has essentially granted us the power to create new realities through our imagination.

This is why having vision in this community is so important.

When we’re called to lead, when we’re called to serve the Lord, He’s basically asking us to dream.

Vision for yourself
Vision for your family
Vision for your household
Vision for your community

– Jesse R.
“I Am, and We are Missionaries”

Off the ocean to the Atlantic,
never parted ways from the seas,
He called Montréal and Ottawa to fall forward onto their knees/
Reunited with the calling, this RYC brought us together,
5 camps armed with conviction, 5 camps withstood the weather/
I Am, and We are Missionaries,
our calling extends farther into our homes,
turn kids, into the youth with the light that Christ has shown/
Cause we’re still growing, still learning,
still training with who You’ve blessed us with,
our mission is to love, and love is all You left us with/
From the East the sun rises, us Canadiens should never forget the truth,
the Atlantic is where we’re called, and we are called to lead the youth/

This poem was used in a creative at last year’s ALMIGHTY TNC in Winnipeg. This was the state of Region Canadien last year.

I want the rest of eastern Canada to see how far we’ve come.

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From the East the sun rises

Conference has never been about ourselves. Of course the Lord chooses to grace us with personal revelations during our mountaintop experiences, but it has always been, and will always be about what we bring to the conference, and what we bring back to our areas.

The culture of our community reaches out to us during conference. Being able to witness different regions, areas, sectors, chapters, units and households worship the Lord demonstrates the dynamic nature of our community.

I am proud to say that at this coming Eastern True North Conference Ill be able to worship with my household head and most of my fellow household members, and I know that this experience will allow us to bring something amazing back to our area.

– Jesse R.
“I Am, and We are Missionaries”