Upon careful assessment of myself during last year’s Advent, I have finally come to accept a fact that I avoided coming to terms with; I lack discipline. The classic pride in me kept making a lot of excuses as to why I was not progressing in getting over my bad habits. The classic lazy in me kept giving up whenever I’d realize how far I am from what I want to be. A couple of bad habits that I have, which may not seem like a big deal (I’m saying this because it didn’t seem like a big deal to me before), was my inconsistency in eating and my lack of water intake.
I am not a health guru nor do I aspire to be. I have just come to realize that my physical legitimate needs were not being met. In Matthew Kelly’s 7 Levels of Intimacy, he briefly touched upon the 4 legitimate needs we have in this life. He mentioned that legitimate needs are given to us by God as “clues to happiness, clues to thriving” and when they are achieved, we feel better about ourselves and our lives. I want to do a lot of things while I am in this world. Even though God made me for the sole purpose of being with Him in Heaven, He put me here so that I may show Him, although imperfect as I am, that I will strive to live to glorify Him with all that He’s given me.
My love for the mission will be hard to put into action if I am physically incapable. Service in the community requires a lot and it has taken its toll on me in the past. When I am swamped with tasks, I do forget to eat sometimes. It has become such a bad habit that even when I’m not busy, I still forget to eat (sleep, social media, text people > food). Because of this, I knew that I had to do something. So now, with the grace of God, I’ve been eating and drinking water regularly.
But I still struggle with consistency. One day, my meal alarm went off and I thought to myself, “I am not starving. I’ll eat later.” And immediately I realized why I fail in my efforts to discipline myself; I only do things when it reaches its point of extreme necessity. I tend to put things off because they seem unnecessary at the moment. Just because my stomach isn’t grumbling, doesn’t mean I shouldn’t eat. Just because my throat isn’t dry from thirst, doesn’t mean I shouldn’t drink. And on to deeper things. Just because a sister of mine in Christ doesn’t seem to need my help, doesn’t mean I shouldn’t initiate on catching up with her. And just because I’m not struggling, doesn’t mean I shouldn’t strive to pray more.
Lord, help me in my hopes to be excellent for You. Root my desires, resolutions, and aspirations only in You. Mother Mary, let me look upon the virtues you so greatly possess. I ask that you grant me the grace to imitate them. Amen.