Author: Genny Boquiren

“My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following Your will does not mean that I am actually doing so.

But I believe that the desire to please You does in fact please You. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this You will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it.

Therefore will I trust You always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for You are ever with me, and You will never leave me to face my perils alone.”

– Thomas Merton

Jesus, I trust in You. Amen.

A few weeks ago, I was able to experience the Man of the Shroud exhibit. Before heading to the exhibit room, we were invited to watch a 30 minute video about it. One of the lines that stood out to me was something along the lines of, “When I die, how will my shroud look like? Will it be pure, clean and white? Or will it be dirty and full of blood as a sign that my life was lived for others?”

Reflecting on the sufferings of Jesus Christ – every single drop of blood, sweat, tears, cries of pain, agony, all of these were out of love for me. During Jesus’ Passion, Mother Mary watched her Son go through all of these. Despite the pain she was experiencing, she kept going on because she knew that everything was necessary to God’s plan of salvation.

What would the world be like if Jesus and Mary chose to be selfish?

There have been so many times when I just wanted to live life for myself even despite the knowledge that God wants to use me for a great mission. The journey ahead of me is daunting because I know it requires a lot of letting go of myself. But do I really want to live my life in comfort at the expense of my soul and the souls of the people I love?

 
Jesus, please teach me to love like You. Mother Mary, please help me learn to love my cross.

One day an Arabian prince, Abd-ed-Kader, while passing through a street of Marseille with a French official, saw a priest who was carrying Holy Viaticum to a dying man. The French official stopped, uncovered his head, and knelt. His friend asked him the reason for this gesture.

“I adore my God, whom the priest is carrying to a sick person,” replied the good official.

“How is it possible,” the prince said, “for you to believe that God who is so great, makes Himself so little and lets Himself go even to the homes of the poor? We Mohammedans have a much higher idea of God.”

The official answered, “It is because you have only an idea of the greatness of God; but you do not know His love.”

That is the answer. In confirmation of this, St. Peter Eymard declares: “The Eucharist is the supreme proof of the love of Jesus. After this there is nothing more but Heaven itself.”

Open my eyes and soften my heart to feel Your love and to love You in return, my humble and sweet, Jesus. St. Peter Julian Eymard, pray for us. 

When I think of the greatness of God, the love He endlessly overwhelms me with, the joy He allows me to feel, and pieces of His cross that He shares with me, I can’t help but be brought to tears by the beauty of it all. I think of my current state here on earth – human, weak and imperfect yet loved so greatly.

“God loves each one of us as if there was only one of us to love.” – St. Augustine

It is such a blessing to be loved by God through the people I have in my life. When I think of how great God is because of the many things He’s done and is doing to win my heart while I’m still here on earth, I can’t help but imagine Heaven. I am here on earth and I already feel so loved, how much more when I get to Heaven?

 
Thank You Lord for the love You make me feel that only makes me long to be with You even more. Strengthen me that I may not lose sight of my true home, which is wherever You are. Let me rest my heart in You. Amen.

One day, I was walking to work. The rain was pouring and the wind was blowing. When I decided to fold my already broken umbrella, I was able to look up at the sky. Then I saw a flock of birds flying. Although their wings were obviously moving, they remained in the same spot because the wind was blowing too strong. I laughed to myself and thought of how silly those birds were. I imagined how exhausting it could have been for them to keep flapping their wings but not get anywhere. Eventually, they stopped and decided to rest on a tree.

Then I reflected on why the Lord allowed me to witness that scene.

There were many times in my life where I have exerted so much effort to achieve something or to be great at something yet somehow, after all that was said and done, I felt like I have not arrived at the destination I hoped I’d be. I have stubbornly insisted on doing things my own way, exhausted myself, blindly persevered, wasted resources and pursued things that the Lord didn’t want me to pursue. Even when God was clearly telling me to stop, take a break and rest for awhile, I still insisted. I was like one of the silly birds. But just like the birds, I eventually learned to stop, reassess and to patiently wait. I was able to realize that the reason I wasn’t getting to where I wanted to be is simply because it wasn’t where God wanted me to be.

It is in the nature of birds to fly against the wind. This allows the air to lift them up when their wings are open. Some challenges in life keep us floating. Some challenges are hurdles that we have to get over in order for us to soar higher. But some are too strong and difficult that it weighs us down or hinders us from moving forward. I have learned that we have to assess if the challenges that we are going through are God’s ways of telling us to persevere or to take a different path.

 
My Lord and my God, please allow me to always be sensitive to Your leading. Guide me on the path that You have already paved for me. Mother Mary, melt me and mold me.

Last weekend, I went with a few friends to Victoria to oversee their Youth Camp. We slept over at one of my friend’s house because we’re taking the 7am ferry the next day. We had an early start to our day as we woke up to get ready and left the house at 5:45am. Nothing can shake our excitement of going to the island for the mission. We docked in Swartz Bay terminal a little over half past 8. Then we headed straight to Sooke, where the campsite is located. The brothers and us, the sisters, were separated in two cars. Oh man, I remember that feeling being in the car with Hannah and Lozel. Though I battled the car ride with a half awake mind and body, I knew that we were all excited to arrive at the venue. Until something unforeseen happened.

The weather wasn’t exactly perfect especially for a ride that required going uphill. Just 30 minutes away from the venue, we started having car difficulties and the roads were all icy and slippery. We tried to go back to take a different route, only to find out we were being led to the same route we were on the first time. Even worse, the car started producing noises that didn’t sound normal. So normally, a car full of sisters, we got so worried. There was a point when we pulled up to the side of the road, popped open the hood of the car, and stared at it cluelessly. Then we decided to go back to the city and have it checked. On the way back, we prayed the rosary. The first place we went to couldn’t accommodate us so we had to go further into the city. Right after we finished the rosary, Hannah comforted the car jokingly, as if telling it that everything is going to be okay. After a few seconds, the unusual sounds disappeared. We couldn’t believe it. We decided to have it checked still just in case. And true enough, the mechanic said there was nothing wrong with the car.

Now what did I learn from this experience? Patience most definitely. I couldn’t understand why we had to take the earliest ferry only to find out we would arrive at the venue 3 hours later than our expected time. I didn’t understand the purpose of the delay. But it is in my lack of understanding that the Lord just told me, “Be at peace.” Trusting in the Lord means finding comfort in Him even when we don’t know what He’s up to. So the whole time, I was just allowing the Lord to love and comfort me.

And this is how I felt His love.

• The two sisters I was with – I have grown in my relationship with them, Lozel being my household head and Hannah as my mentor. I knew it was inevitable for us to get to know each other but I didn’t expect I would allow myself to love them this much and allow myself to be loved in return. Journeying with them for the past year, has definitely made me go out of my introverted self by sharing with them my victories and crosses. Although I spent good conversations with them individually, I think the Lord wanted to bring us 3 together to allow me to feel the joy of sisterhood and the fruits of friendship rooted in Christ. #UStheTrio #DCTalk3 #FriendsForLife #3speakersession #pyramid
• The sunshine – the Lord knows I hate winter and the cold. But there was a certain beauty I witnessed when the sun shone on the snow covered ground, when the light peeked in between the trees, when the light created soft colors in the sky, and when the warmth melted the ice on the ground. It gave me hope. It reminded me that it is  the Lord that illuminates and brings out beauty even in places or situations I don’t expect.
• Mama Mary – Devoting myself to her through the rosary has lifted a weight from my chest in total surrender that she will take care of all that I have; my possessions, my crosses, my merits, my virtues. When the car miraculously got fixed after we prayed the rosary, I smiled because I knew she was taking care of us. Now I don’t know exactly why the delay happened the way it did but I felt comforted when I thought of Mama Mary praying for us to save us from something that could possibly have happened on the road. I’d like to think that she delayed us so the sun can melt the ice.

We arrived at the venue safely and the weekend was very fruitful and filled with love. But the journey up there is something I will never forget.

Thank You Lord for the detours and delays You allow me to experience in life. Thank You most especially for the many ways You comfort me and allow me to still feel Your love. I pray that I may never get tired, never get blinded and never forget Your love for me. Pray for me, dear Mother, that I may be worthy of the promises of Christ.

I had a conversation with a friend while walking to a bubble tea place. A question that came up while we were sharing our lives to each other was, “What if we know everything?”. I started imagining my life with this question in my head. That means, I’d know exactly what I’m going to do in the future, or I’d know exactly what will be coming at me and I would know exactly how to handle things. No uncertainties, doubts, surprises, need to surrender – I am all-knowing.

Really what came to me was, “What’s the sense of living?”. If I knew everything, what’s left for me to hope for? Would I even know what hope is?

I used to be a big worrier. I still am sometimes actually. But I was the kind of person who had the mindset that if I’m not worrying, then I must be doing something wrong or I must be doing less than I’m supposed to. I found comfort in worrying because it was an indicator of care for me. Until a time came when I thought I had everything going perfectly but in reality I didn’t, simply because of the fact that I don’t know everything.

I don’t know everything. In fact, I don’t know a lot of things. But I realized that there is a certain beauty in not knowing. Because when I acknowledged that I don’t hold what is to come is when I can honestly say that I have trusted the One who knows. God does not expect me to have the answers to all the questions, to know what to do all the time, to know what to say all the time, so why should I expect myself to do all these things? I find beauty in unforeseen occurrences, conversations, meetings, deviations, uncertainty, because it is through these things that I know that the Lord is directing my life. There’s beauty in accepting the limits of being human – it directs us to the greatness of God.

I still worry sometimes. I panic and get frustrated when things don’t happen the way I think they should. But I take these as constant reminders from God to breathe, enjoy uncertainty, submit to humility, and surrender.

 
Thank You, Lord, for the countless times You’ve reminded me of Your greatness. Strengthen my faith, give me peace and joy amidst uncertainties. Mother Mary, melt me and mold me.