Author: Gem Robis

(June 23, 2016)

One thing about me, I am a Game of Thrones fan, both book and series. And to be honest, last Sunday’s episode is still lingering in my mind. Cinematographically the episode was beyond awesome – not that I’m an expert with moviemaking or anything. It was just really good visually! Anyways, I brought up Games of Thrones not just because I was astounded by the episode but because there was a specific line that really hit me. I even re-watched the whole episode several times and still the only line that got stuck in my head and made me reflect on things. A short back-story about the line: it was during a scene where a sibling was fighting over the fact that they are still pushing through the war even when they don’t have enough soldiers. It was what the older brother said that struck me:

“No. It’s not enough, (but) it’s what we have.”

It is not enough, but it is what I have. I found myself in a similar situation several times and I tried to respond in different ways too. It’s either to wait until you have “enough” of what you need but miss the opportunity, or simply push through without properly planning for it and fail. Is that it? Nope, what I learned is that there is still another option for us: to properly discern and pray for what the Lord is asking you to do next

In the end, you got to do what you need to, just believe that if your prayer leads you to taking a leap of faith, then go ahead. God will equip you. In every journey that we take in this life, I believe that God equips us every time. Sometimes, it just depends on us how we use the things He provided. This is where “do your best and God will do the rest” enters. Do your best with all your might; exhaust everything you have, for what you have is what God provided you with. And lift up the unknown to our Lord for He is has the master plan, the blueprint, of our lives.

“For we are his handiwork, created in Christ Jesus for the good works that God has prepared in advance, that we should live in them.” (Ephesians 2:10, NABRE)

But if you fail, do not blame God, see it as an opportunity for you to learn and know how to do it better next time. Trust that whatever you do, wherever you are, our Lord is with you always. ☺

“I command you: be strong and steadfast! Do not fear nor be dismayed, for the Lord, your God, is with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:9, NABRE)

(June 16, 2016)

How many times have you lost an item and you tried your best to retrieve it? Looked for at least more than a week, even turned your house upside down but still no trace of it. How many times you almost gone crazy remembering where or how you lost it? Happened to me A LOT of times!!! Not that I suffer from a short-term memory loss like Dory, I’m just simply forgetful or if you ask my mom I’m careless (Hi mom!). Well, the latest item that I “lost” was my Pandora bracelet. I treasure this bracelet for several reasons but with cold sweat and wide eyes I thoroughly searched for it, asked people if they had seen it during and after ReCon, checked all my bags and possible pockets; but nothing. I gave up. Tried my best to stay calm and to just let go. Made myself believe that in time I will be able to save up and replace it. For at least 2 weeks, tried not to think about it or even get upset about it. I tell my self every night, “It’s just a bracelet Gem! Chill!”

On the 3rd week after I gave up searching, just out of the blue, I found it inside my backpack for work. I honestly had searched this bag already, even turned it upside down, but amazingly it was there. From them on, I took extra care of it and made sure I remember where I placed it. All of a sudden, it seemed like its worth is now more than ever. Though, it is usually like that! Right?? When you finally stopped searching; accepted that it is untimely gone, and mustered all your strength to let go, then it will suddenly reveal itself. Out of the nowhere, it will just be there waving at you and saying “Hi! Remember me?” and with all mixed emotions, you treasure it more than you used to. With that said, this whole pandora-bracelet incident left me reflecting on some things.

Whenever we feel lost, or abandoned, be reminded of how we feel when we lose something important. When the search drives us crazy and makes us feel hopeless, it is almost the same process we undergo when we lose ourselves. It makes us irrational most of the time, for we don’t know where to go or what to do next. We are empty but at the same time prideful, we don’t want others to know what we are going through, or worse we are afraid to admit to ourselves that we need help. We keep our guards up and seclude ourselves. We are afraid. We are vulnerable. It takes a lot of courage to admit that we failed, that we are broken and empty. But we have to. We have to surrender.

Because not until we humble ourselves and embrace our brokenness that we will eventually find our way; our way back to the Lord. Not until we empty ourselves, our hearts and mind, and accepted the Holy Spirit to pour and fill up all the voids, not until then we will find ourselves whole again.

Our God is merciful and just. That has been replaying in my head every time I question myself, every time I doubt myself if I am worthy enough to be loved. As we ask for mercy, believe that He will deliver us from all our sins; and be reminded that He is just; only He has the ability to see the depths of our hearts, He shall forgive if we only ask. Do not be afraid of the consequences you have to face, accept it, for it came from our Lord. And everything that comes from our Lord is out of love, believe that in the end of our suffering, there’s something greater waiting for us.

“The God of all grace who called you to his eternal glory through Christ [Jesus] will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you after you have suffered a little.” (1 Peter 5:10, NABRE)

God allow us to suffer not because He doesn’t care or He had forsaken us, but because He doesn’t want to take away the free will and the essence of being a man that He gave us. He knows what is the best for us, but He wants us to learn on our own, and realize things in order to appreciate the love He is offering us. He is giving us so much grace that it is only up to us to ask and accept them. Everything is for free, all we need is to take one step closer and ask, and He will be there in the other end reaching out and giving us more than we asked for, in His own perfect time.

“God has made everything appropriate to its time, but has put the timeless into their hearts so they cannot find out, from beginning to end, the work which God has done.” (Ecclesiastes 3:11, NABRE)

(June 9, 2016)

I have been listening to this song “One Call Away” by Charlie Puth for months now, and even included it in my everyday commute playlist. But it was only last Friday that I saw the pastoral side of the song. I was on my way home after work and decided that I need a song that will make my heart flutter, just because. Unexpectedly, the usual song became something else; it became a conversation with God. Out of the blue, I had an intimate conversation with God in a bus with my earphones on. AMAZING!

All of a sudden, it became a song where God is affirming me how much He loves me. Telling me that He is only one call away; that no one (even superman) can beat Him; that He is our friend, our hope, our savior whenever we feel lost and disheartened. “I just wanna set you free,” Free? Free from our sins! Free from all the earthly materials that we are so wrapped and tangled with; to be free from all concerns, worries and pain that we carry every day. What do we have to do? We just have to call Him. We just have to reconnect with him. How? Through confession, through prayers! How easy is that? We just have to “call” and He will be there to “save the day.” Gaaaahhh!!!!!

There are even lines like “Cause you know I just wanna see you smile.” Gaaahhhh… this just made my heart warm. That God loves us so much that He will allow us to be wherever we are right now, even if this is not His greatest desire/plan for us just yet, because He knows that we are happy at the moment. Because He understands that as humans we doesn’t always understand His ways. Sometimes we think this is it, this is what God wants me to do or to be, but in reality He desires something greater, but because He is gracious, He allows us to savour the moment and be happy. And later on He will reveal his master plan.

He even comforts us and tells us that we are never alone. “No matter where you go, You know you are not alone,” He wants us to feel secured that in times of turmoil and darkness, rest assured and calm our hearts that we never journey alone. That all we need to do is “Run into [My] His arms” and we’ll be home.

Things like this make me feel like I’m in an egg hunt where God allows me to find something when it is time for me to find them. J Small things like this remind me that God speaks to us in different ways everyday. We just have to take time to listen and allow ourselves to see it.

(June 2, 2016)

Love.
How do we love? Who do we love? Why do we love? What is love?
Love is usually described as something romantic, something that is associated with the butterfly feeling in our tummy and that lightheadedness every time you talk to someone you “love”. Loving someone we like is easy. Loving someone who loves us back is a piece of cake.

But how about those instances when we are being asked to love someone unlovable? Someone who hurt you? Someone who stabs you in the back? Someone who will never love you back?

In Luke 6:35 we are reminded to love even our own enemies:
“But rather, love your enemies and do good to them, and lend expecting nothing back; then your reward will be great and you will be children of the Most High, for he himself is kind to the ungrateful and the wicked.”

As Christians, we are called to love unconditionally. Remember God’s 2nd commandment is for us to love our neighbors as ourselves (Mark 12:31). And in this year of Mercy, we are more so called to love in action.

I honestly don’t know where I’m going with this. Tonight’s events stirred my heart and re-opened some wounds from the past. My first reaction was to answer back, to save myself and make people see my point. But in reflection, I remembered reading a quote from Mother Teresa:

“Love to be real, it must cost, it must hurt, it must empty us of self.”

I thought I emptied myself already, but it still hurts, therefore I realize, there is still more. I still have to learn how to love unconditionally. My thoughts are somehow still disorganized. But I will end this with a request, that please pray for me, that I may have a bigger heart to love people around me, and most especially those who hurt me, those who hate me and even those who stab me in the back. I pray for a bigger heart to understand things and people around me, I pray for humility. To be humble enough to admit things I’ve done wrong. To be humble enough to lower myself and not to seek for revenge. I pray that I may learn to forgive those who continue to hurt me, and after everything to still love them as what Jesus would do. Amen.

(May 26, 2016)

2 months of preparation
At least more than 9 committee meetings
Dance practices for at least 6-8 hours each session for 3 weeks
4 memos, with at least more than 3 revisions each
Countless emails
Never ending text messages
Sleepless nights

Sounds so busy and stressful. But I enjoyed all of it; and honestly, I miss it. This year’s Regional Conference in Alberta was supposed to be in Fort McMurray, but for some reason, they gave it to Edmonton. It’s a blessing in disguise I guess, knowing what happened in Fort Mc 2 weeks before our ReCon. Imagine if it was supposed to be in Fort Mc, SFC Alberta won’t have a recon this year.

I can still remember when our couple coordinators, were telling us that ReCon will be in Edmonton, right there and then I told myself that I would want to serve. Back in my mind, I was just thinking of being a runner or even be part of the tech team. Not knowingly that by February, I will be asked to serve as the event head. I first saw it as a challenge, a great way to prove myself, so prideful of me, it was only later on when we were having difficulty looking for a counterpart that I realized this is not for my personal gain, it was only then that I started praying for the service I was asked to do. My first prayer was for the brother to say yes and for God’s grace to guide me as I do my service. It is only then that I was reminded that I am doing this for the Lord, that it is an honor for me to serve our Lord.

The whole journey made changes in my heart. There were moments that I even surprised myself. I am the type of person who plans, and when things don’t go my way, I easily get frustrated and angry. Of course, in service specially with planning an event, A LOT OF THINGS can go wrong. The preparation for ReCon thought me to be patient, and to allow myself to be lead by the Holy Spirit and not to control and force my ways on things. It thought me to be humble. To admit things that I cannot do, to ask for help if I need to, to ask for forgiveness if I did something wrong and most of all, to have a big heart and to be understanding and forgiving.

I learned to trust people.

As the whole event was unfolding in my eyes, I found myself teary eyed several times. SFC Edmonton, is small by number and almost all of us can be considered newbies in terms of running events. We have no clue about technical stuff. But through prayers, talents suddenly just seem to overflow and help came everywhere. People suddenly became more understanding and patient with each other. Titos and Titas from CFC guided us right from the start. Brothers and sisters from other areas were more than willing to give a hand. Everyone was willing to serve and impart his or her time, treasures and God-given talents to showcase how magnificent and amazing our Lord is. When I had time to reflect on everything, it was just amazing. God is amazing!!!

I don’t think there is any better way to show how grateful we are but to use all these gifts He gave us to glorify and serve Him; to allow ourselves to be His instruments in spreading His love and words.

It was a good reminder for me to never doubt God if He asked me to do something for Him. Because when it is God’s will, it will always be amazing. He will equip whom He called. He will make sure that His plans will take place for He is unstoppable! Our God is unstoppable, and with Him nothing is impossible.