evonyjane – Page 3 – True North Missionaries Journal

Sharing Your Seeds

Our Lord is very gracious and He continually blesses us with things we need and even things we don’t need just to show us a fraction of His love for us. I struggled for weeks to come up with something inspiring, something heartwarming, something theological to share with all of you and in my indecisiveness I came up with nothing. I put myself under my own very narrow lens and started critiquing myself and when I would come up with something to talk about I would question myself… “Why would you share that, that’s so typical of you?” or “Did you actually think you would inspire others when those experiences are expected from where you’re standing?” or “Really, you’re gonna share that again?”

This was such the wrong mentality. How could I disregard all the goodness that our Lord has given me just because it doesn’t appear flashy or life changing? How could I take into my own hands the decision of sharing or not, when I am unaware of the power that each of my experiences holds in other peoples lives? In my search to find something inspiring, heartwarming or theological, I found Him. Smack-dab in the middle of all my everyday occurrences, all my funny moments, all my simple encounters, all my deep conversations and private time alone… there He was. And because I failed to share my experiences, I failed to share Him.

Our lives are colorful and bountiful and wonderful and so full of Him. All He asks is that we share Him with others. We have it a whole lot easier than the early Christians, what we lack in our day and age is zeal. Zeal to share our Lord with others. Zeal to move confidently forward towards Him. The gospel today says, “The one who sows the good seed is the Son of Man; the field is the world, and the good seed are the children of the kingdom;…” (Matthew 13: 37-38). We are both called to be the “one who sows” and the “good seed”.

We are the good seeds that our Lord has scattered on this earth. We are called to grow and bloom in His light and under His care. At some point, we are also called to be the ones that sow and this entails using the blessings He’s given us as good seeds to share with others. To share with others our experiences with our Lord is essentially sharing Him.

Let’s go forth evangelizing and re-evangelizing the world through our own stories; through word, thought and deed. And the simplest way to do that is to share our lives with those around us.

Lord, Thank you for your abundant blessings. You alone know exactly what I need, when I need them. Allow me to never look at an experience or a feeling as too insignificant to make a difference. Please provide me with the strength and courage to continue sharing you with others. Bless those I will encounter, that they may be ample soil to plant your seeds. Amen.

This is an invitation to overwhelm my heart…

(reflection for the week of June 3-9)

The last 4 weeks have been spent settling into my new home, bonding with my new family, getting to know the area, attending meetings and conducting trainings. I have met amazing people! I have been blessed to visit the mission areas of Red Deer and Fort McMurray and spend time with their youth who are so eager to get to know God more. It has been one amazing month and to think it’s only my first month as a fully pledged fulltime pastoral worker. Fulltime work has a steep learning curve but with the Holy Spirit, passion, and discipline that incline is simply a launching board into the heavenly experiences that await.

When you make that decision, when you respond to God’s call for your life, in whatever way He plans, you are openly inviting God to overwhelm you and trust me when I say that is an invitation He won’t refuse. God has shown me such beauty, not only in nature but through the hearts of those I serve. He has allowed me to feel the depth of His care and compassion but He has also allowed me to feel the brokenness of what breaks His own heart. He has opened my eyes to see His unique signature in everything and everyone and He has heightened my senses to know that He is near me always.

Let’s stop looking at ‘overwhelmed’ as a word to describe a burden, rather that we use ‘overwhelmed’ as a word to describe how we feel about God’s immense love for us. A love that gives, even when we don’t deserve it. A love that relentlessly pursues and seeks us out and meets us where we are. A love that wants to remind us daily of His presence and His guidance.

Lord, please never stop overwhelming my heart.

Mustard Seeds & Moving Mountains

(Reflection for the week of May 27 – June 2)

He said to them, “Because of your little faith. For truly I tell you, if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, “Move from here to there,’ and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you.” Matthew 17:20

Mustard seeds are tiny. They resemble sesame seeds but are even smaller. Imagine having faith in God as small as that and still being able to command a mountain to move and it would listen.

It’s hard for us to wrap our heads around the concept because we’re so fixated on the part of the statement that says “the size of a mustard seed”. Because we’re visual thinkers, we think about that tiny little seed, we think about it’s puniness and it’s almost being irrelevant in the matter of moving mountains. What we forget is that when we have faith, we are saying we believe, and when we believe in something it is because we accept it as true. We accept that God and all He says and all He promises is true and when we accept God we also invite Him to be with us, be in us. That alone is why we can move mountains even if our faith is tiny.

But let us be reminded, the mountain does not move because you tell it to, it moves because it is submissive to the God of creation who is in you.

Turn

Ate Chona and Gabe, May your souls rest in peace.

(reflection for the week of May 20 – 26)

I always find it a blessing when I’m asked to share or asked to give a talk and immediately after it, I can barely remember what I said. I take it as an affirmation that it was no longer I speaking but the Holy Spirit speaking through me and Praise God He did.

This past week, I had to say goodbye to my Ate Chona and my Godson Gabe. No words could explain how beautiful these two people were or how important they were to me, so imagine my heart break magnified as the family asked me to give a joint eulogy. I grew up in the community, giving talks was normal. I was a recruiter for three years, I was trained to talk, trained to speak in front, trained to catch and hold people’s attention, yet somehow I couldn’t drum up anything to say without breaking down into tears.

It’s in this form of desolation that a little bit of clarity found me. We have but a small and incomplete piece of God’s bigger and BETTER picture so trying to find answers is almost foolish. And because of this, it really pushed me to seek refuge in my personal relationship with Him. That’s when it got a little bit clearer; when I experience things that turn my whole world upside down, it just reaffirms and confirms that we need to re-turn to Him.

With you

“I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Helper, who will stay with you forever”? (John 14:16)

Many people often associate Pentecost as the Church’s Birthday, I like to think that it’s the day the Church went public and fully revealed the Holy Trinity. To think the twelve were huddled in a room, fearing for their lives, and then suddenly they were each graced with the fullness of the Holy Spirit. They were speaking all kinds of languages and what better way to share these gifts but to speak of the wonders of the Lord in public! All the people in the street understood what was being said and how much more personal can you get but receiving the messages in their native tongue. On that day, the Church went public with her message and the Holy Spirit was right there with her!

Jesus ensured that the apostles wouldn’t be left alone and gave them with His most Holy Spirit to guide them and comfort them and strengthen them as they carry out the work of the Lord. The same Holy Spirit is with us today, living and breathing and moving and working. This same Spirit dwells within our hearts and allows us to bare great fruit.

Unfortunately, due to our own human limitations there are times we feel as though we are alone. Our mere human effort fails us and we seek to fill the void with other things when really we simply lacked the ability to recognize Him within and amongst us.

We must fully understand that it is out of great and true love for us that He gave us the gift of His Holy Spirit. And through the Holy Spirit, His love is poured out into our hearts so that we may share it with every living creature.

Although I know my journey with and towards Christ is far from over, the recent changes in my life have introduced a new fear of losing Him/losing the ability to recognize Him. It’s like I’m suddenly aware of every breath and every thought and every action. But it is because of my confidence in the ‘helper’ He promised that the fear is tamed and extinguished. Our Lord is truly with us. And He will be with us, through His Holy Spirit, until He comes again and we are fully reunited with our Maker.

Lord, thank you for blessing me with your Holy Spirit and for always being with me. I know that it is out of your great love that you sent us a helper. Please allow my heart to be open to the movings of your Spirit. Holy Spirit, master of prayer, please help me in my weaknesses and allow my life to bare great fruit so they may be used for God’s Glory. Amen.