Author: Erin Tangco

“Today I understand vocation quite differently – not as a goal to be achieved but as a gift to be received. Discovering vocation does not mean scrambling toward some prize just beyond my reach but accepting the treasure of true self I already possess. Vocation does not come from a voice “out there” calling me to be something I am not. It comes from a voice “in here” calling me to be the person I was born to be, to fulfill the original self given to me by God at birth.” – Parker Palmer, Let Your Life Speak

That insight is hidden in the word vocation itself, which is rooted in Latin for “voice.” Vocation does not mean a goal that I pursue. It means a calling that I hear. At the present moment I feel that the Lord has been so generous in planting so many desires, that it’s difficult to process which one to choose. I feel pulled in so many different directions, all of which are good things.

Pope Francis, in one of his homilies, said, “So many times our heart is a road, everything passes there. Put it to the test! Do I always choose the things that come from God? Do I know which are the things that come from God? Do I know the true criterion by which to discern my thoughts, my desires? Do I test what I think, what I want, what I desire, or do I accept it all without discerning?”

I pray that I may seek the Lord in the silence and in the stillness. There are so many inspirations of stories, of people around me, and the Saints whose lives I admire and seek to follow. I know the Lord has also called me for a purpose, specific to the present time, to the present need of those around me, and the present desires of my heart. I am hopeful that at the end of this life, the Lord won’t ask me, “Why were you not Moses? Why were you not Ruth?”  Instead He might ask, “Why were you not Erin?”

I pray that God may always guide me in discovering the best way to live. A life of virtue, of peace, and of joy.

I am also praying with you and for you, my brothers and sisters 🙂 Praise God for He is always so good.

St. Cyril of Alexandria, Father and Doctor of the Church, wrote: “If the poison of pride swells up in you, turn to the Eucharist; and that Bread, which is your God humbling and disguising Himself, will teach you humility. If the fever of selfish greed rages in you, feed on this Bread; and you will learn generosity. If the cold wind of selfishness and self-interest saddens you, hasten to the Bread of angels; and charity will come to blossom in your heart. If you feel the itch of intemperance, nourish yourself with the Flesh and Blood of Christ, who practiced heroic self-control during His earthly life; and you will become temperate. If you are lazy and sluggish about spiritual things, strengthen yourself with this Heavenly Food; and you will grow fervent. Lastly, if you feel scorched by the fever of impurity, go to the Banquet of the angels; and the immaculate Flesh of Christ will make you pure and chaste.”

-p. 59, Jesus Our Eucharistic Love

– The ending question on Fr. Nick’s most recent blog (Hi Father Nick!). This past month has been filled with so much Beauty, it’s overwhelming to contain it all. I hope to point out some recent experiences that made me ponder and reflect more on God’s love and his true and perfect beauty.

• Vancouver in the summer time is absolutely beautiful. I remember being in awe every time I visit White Rock beach, and every experience I had to see clear blue skies, serene water and mountains in the backdrop. I also remember feeling happy seeing my instagram feed full of nature-related photos because how can you not like something so breathtaking 🙂
• This month I have also experienced the beauty of vulnerability in my conversations with my brothers and sisters.  From sharing conference experiences, to simple “how are yous”, to hearing the stories of previous Full Time Pastoral Workers and their love for God through their mission work (my eyes were sweating the entire time listening to their incredible stories), to reading shared status updates and blogs, to late night drives with a good friend pouring out so much honesty to the point of tears, I have seen how the Lord has given me so many beautiful relationships in my life. What a beautiful privilege it is to be placed in this moment to journey with our loved ones closer to God.
• I also couldn’t stop thinking about my first experience attending a Latin High Mass. The reverence, joy and beauty I witnessed were incredible. Some details that stood out to me were seeing the women wearing veils, the men in suits, the choir (!) and the beautiful hymns they sang, the altar servers and how focused they were being in Jesus’ presence, and the priest and his incredible love for the Mass. It left me feeling joyful and at the same time wanting more – even though I feel that this life and the journey of faith will always remain a mystery, it struck something in me to want to learn more and renew my promise to love God above all things.

All these recent experiences are but a tiny preview to the many times my heart and mind gets overwhelmed daily, when I really look into how much God loves me and how much I want to love Him.

Father Nick said it best when he said,

“At that moment I greatly desired to have this relationship in my life and began searching to see how this could be possible. There is so much beauty in our faith. The beauty of Jesus’ life who died out of love to save us. The beauty of the holy lives of the saints. The beauty of being part of the Church, a family that transcends time and nationality. When we reconnect with this beauty, we renew – or perhaps enkindle for the first time – our desire to follow Jesus.”

When we reconnect with this beauty, we renew- or perhaps enkindle of the first time – our desire to follow Jesus.

St. Joseph, Our Lady of Lourdes, Most Holy Family, pray for us on this journey of Perfect Beauty.

Praise God! 🙂

 

I’ve been nursing an early onset of chills and sore throat and I realize that when I don’t physically feel well, everything else suffers – most especially my spiritual and emotional state. So I decided to take a shower in hopes of getting my spirits up. Most of the time I have the deepest life thoughts when I take a shower but today I just needed a reason to get out of bed.

I’ve always tried to understand the thought that God speaks to us in such a personal way. And today I think He was speaking to me through one of my favourite Lush face masks, haha. The Sacred Truth: “Keep your skin in beautiful condition with anti-oxidant wheatgrass, green tea and enzymatic papaya.” This stuff smells so good, and the ingredients are fresh and handmade and feels amazing on your skin. If a pot of this face mask already made my face/overall self feel good momentarily, what more will it do to my soul if I lived in “Sacred Truth” everyday?

Some thoughts that crossed my mind:

• The Truth is Sacred because it is connotative to something elusive; difficult to achieve & difficult to maintain because the Truth demands so much honesty and integrity in our daily lives.
• Living in truth doesn’t necessarily mean living so uptight and rigid. That usually doesn’t draw anyone closer to want to live an honest and truthful lifestyle. So much joy can be found in being truthful, which will naturally lead to the purest joy found in authentic freedom.
• I saw this quote on The Daily Love: “The short-term pain of facing a truth far outweighs the long-term pain of believing in a lie.”
• Expecting others to live in honesty and truth has to start within ourselves. We have to bring and live up to the truth that we have experienced and realized in our lives, so we can encourage others to do the same.
• Living in truth is a journey. We all make mistakes and we all deal with some degree of fear that we tend to mask our insecurities, worries and doubt in different parts of our lives. It’s okay to have days like this. The important thing is that we realize when we’re being bombarded by negative thoughts and re-focus on the Truth, on God’s love and His promises for us.

In what part of our lives can we strive to be more truthful?

St. Joseph and St. Gianna Molla, pray for us! 🙂

 

 

“I think it is very important, that union with God. You must be full of silence, for in the silence of the heart God speaks. An empty heart God fills. Even Almighty God will not fill a heart that is full – full of pride, bitterness, jealousy – we must give these things up. As long as we are holding these things, God cannot fill it. Silence of the heart, not only of the mouth – that too is necessary – but more, that silence of the mind, silence of the eyes, silence of the touch. Then you can hear Him everywhere: in the closing of the door, in the person who needs you, in the birds that sing, in the flowers, the animals – that silence which is wonder and praise. Why? Because God is everywhere and you can see and hear Him; but we cannot see and hear Him if our heart is not clean.”

– Where there is love, there is God. Blessed Mother Teresa.

—–

There is so much peace and joy found when are truly silent. I love the part where Mother Teresa says, “silence of the heart, not only of the mouth, that too is necessary – but more, that silence of the mind, silence of the eyes, silence of the touch.”

Silence doesn’t necessarily mean completely distancing ourselves from the world or being in a corner with our own thoughts, though that is not bad in itself. I believe that the kind of silence Mother Teresa speaks of is the kind where our hearts are at peace wherever we are – at work, at home, at an assembly, at a conference. The kind of peace where we know God is in love with us, and we are in love with Him, and we are silent in Him because we see His love everywhere. And no matter where we are or who speak to or who is around us, we spiritually exchange glances with God who is across the room and say, “Hi. I’m here. Thank you for loving me.”

Our Lady of Lourdes, pray for us. 🙂

Open Mind, Faithful Heart.

I was reading reviews of Pope Francis’ book called, “Open Mind, Faithful Heart: Reflections On Following Jesus” and this one review stood out to me the most:

“Reading Open Mind, Faithful Heart has helped me understand why the cardinals chose this man as our spiritual father. His faith is deep, heart-felt, and generous. He doesn’t water down any of the doctrines of the Church, but uses them as the ground upon which he stands, while reaching out to a world which has learned to view those doctrines through a jaundice lens, and trying to draw them closer to the person of Jesus—which is, after all, the point of the Church as an institution. Highly recommended!”

Wow! I am always so thankful and amazed at how much of a gift Pope Francis is. I admire so many things about him, most especially when the reviewer pointed out that his faith is “deep, heartfelt and generous.” Oh man. What an inspiration. Sometimes when I try to grow more in faith I get restless and overwhelmed with regards to how I’m supposed to “be.” Finding that balance between being firm and gentle is a daily battle – should I be heartless about a situation to get my point across? Or should I always be gentle and caring, most of which is what I’m most comfortable with, and what is also expected of me at work.

Most of the time I don’t know what to do. But I trust that as long as it points others to Christ, though difficult, it is always the right thing. And I hope that even in the most uneventful, sometimes discouraging daily grind of life, I can be lead to a faith that is deep, heartfelt and generous.

NTS: Open Mind, Faithful Heart.

🙂

Our Lady of Lourdes, pray for us!

“Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of – throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage; but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself.” – C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

I always had a clear picture of my dream house – floor to ceiling windows, beige and white décor, a nice backyard, flowers in the front garden, and a beautiful red door. For the longest time I felt like I was on the right track towards this ideal dream – finished my program at 20, got my dream job at the hospital, travelled, spent time building beautiful and meaningful friendships, service with the youth was going well, family doing well, etc. I felt happy – I felt like I had it all. And the Lord was there through all of it; no doubt He is the source of the joy I felt when these dreams were coming to life.

And then one day He decided to tell me, “I have something better for you.” And just like that -I felt like I was back to square one with my “life plan.” What’s going to happen to my dream of building my dream house? How can You possibly plan something better than what I already had in mind?

But He does. He always has the best for those whom He loves so much. And in this case, it wasn’t that He didn’t want me to have my dream house – He wanted me to realize He is my dream home. He is my heart’s desire. That when I wake up in the morning He is the first to possess all my thoughts, words, and my whole being; and when I go to bed at night, loving Him will be the first thing I look forward to in the morning. I don’t have to worry about creating my dream house, when being in heaven is the ultimate home. And that is enough. God is enough 🙂

One thing I ask from the Lord,
    this only do I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the Lord
    all the days of my life,
to gaze on the beauty of the Lord
    and to seek him in his temple.

Psalm 27:4