Author: Erin Gonzalez

“Your success is the measure of My Will and Mind that you have revealed to those around you. Your success is the measure of My Will that those around you have seen worked out in your lives.”

With a little less than a month left here, many of couldn’t help but feel like there simply isn’t enough time. We’ve had to reschedule, cancel, and change the dynamics of some of our days due to an unanticipated addition of other events that we didn’t expect would be added to our schedule. In the midst of all the worries, I was brought to this page in the book, “God Calling”.

Sometimes, even as missionaries, we don’t notice ourselves tilting the balance. Yes, there are so many things to do and it is so easy to forget that our plans were never ours in the first place.

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways, says the Lord.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
‘For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven,
and return not thither but water the earth,
making it bring forth and sprout,
giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater”
(Isaiah 55: 8-10)

In these times, I’ve realized that it is not so much about the output sometimes as it is about our conduct. Even in stress, disorder, and disaster, how much do we exemplify the love of God? How much greater do we really prove God to be in our lives? Though we may be caught in a mindset where we think that much is expected of us (no matter how true or false it may be), often times we must humbly bring ourselves back to the basics… above all, we are called to be a vessel of Christ’s transforming love first. And when we begin with this, His love leads us to where there is rest… free of doubt, free of hatred, free of jealousy, free of anger… just simply a dwelling place of Love. Beyond trainings, events, teachings and all other modules, I believe that it is important that when we are sent somewhere, the first mission is to always bring Christ to others, and all else will follow.

#LoveMore

 

Being away on mission (especially in a different country) has really been a true test of heart. Honestly speaking, I’ve had times where it has felt hard because it has sometimes felt like I only have a mere handful of home that I can turn to whenever, wherever, however (the 3 other missionaries, and my close friends and my family who are awake when I am). And the truth is, there are parts of my life that I know I have to live out differently because my focus (now that I’m actually placed at an Area – no matter how short or long it is going to be) needs to change… God has now entrusted new things to me. And honestly speaking, I have felt myself asking and pondering…

Lord, should I put these that are dear to me on hold?

It has been quite a journey. It’s been a while that I have asked this question, and after the BLESSED SFC Holy Land Conference that had just passed, I am affirmed.

I am not called to put what is dear to me on hold, but IN hold
… in His hold.

If our Father Who is Perfect can entrust new things – things that are dear to Him – to me, then I, being imperfect, must also carry complete trust to entrust all that is dear to me in His hands… in His hold… knowing He is making them more perfect. Our life, when placed in the hands of Christ, are being transformed more in His image and likeness. And it is through a journey; not an event. It is a journey of change in which He is perfectly making all things a gift. Therefore, I need not to worry or be weary, or even ask so many questions. I must just simply trust with patience and with faith.

How do we grow closer to God? Some may say it is by participating more in the sacraments (i.e. Reconciliation/ Confessions, attending Mass, participating in Adoration, etc). Others might say it is by simply increasing our prayer time. Some might even say it is through Random Acts of Kindness. While I listened to others as they shared about how they grow closer to Christ, I began to think. Is it possible to find just one answer to this? Then it dawned on me…

The first step in growing closer to someone is to know more of who they are. The second step in growing in closeness is to grow in love for them. The next step is to allow God to strengthen the relationship by bringing prayer into this relationship (whether it is through intercession, or by directly praying together, or being the vessels of the Presence of Christ in their lives). Therefore, to come closer to God, it begins by allowing ourselves to understand Who He is in our lives. Then it further breaks down to this…

(“God is Good, all the time! And ALL THE TIME, God is Good!”)

To grow closer to God is to know God…

(“God is where? EVERYWHERE! And everywhere, GOD IS THERE!”)

Knowing God, is knowing Him in everyone and in everything, for His Presence is in everything around us…

Therefore, to grow closer to God is to grow closer to everyone around us because His Presence lives in everyone and everything around us.

It is everything everyone mentioned; not just one or the other. It is growing in the sacraments, making conscious efforts to be more kind towards one another, increasing our prayer time, praying for and with one another, learning to love those who are difficult to love, serving one another in ways that might not be common or maybe even foreign to us, or taking the time to get to know those around us, no matter how excluded or uncomfortable we might feel. It is finding all the little ways to simply love literally everyone and everything around us before ourselves. It might even be being able to be thankful for having a house, room, or place to sleep in every night (despite not having specific living conditions we want), or eating whatever food is available so that it doesn’t waste or rot instead of looking for the things we want at that moment, or even doing acts of service for others despite of how good/ bad we might be in doing so. It is living, speaking, and thinking of love for others before ourselves that we learn to grow CLOSE.

By growing in this love and appreciation for them and/ or for the circumstances around us, we grow in love and appreciation for God, and ultimately… we grow closer to Him. 

Lord, may we always have a willing and ready heart to accept our YES’s every day, and to allow ourselves to be led by Your guiding hands in the new and old ways of doing so. In everything we do or say, may we always be led closer to You. 

Most Holy Family, pray for us!

TOTUS TUUS.

At the last SFC Household we had, the topic was courage. Oftentimes, the defining thing about courage for me had been being able to do something beyond the fears I carried. But upon learning that the gift of courage goes much deeper than that, I’ve personally taken the time this week to pray for guidance on going beyond the surface of this gift. “Be careful what you pray for…”

This week has personally hard for me, which I’m starting to think is going to continue for the rest of my life. But it is in this understanding that I rejoice because in understanding this reality, I also understand that my life is meant to answer this specific prayer… TO CONSTANTLY GROW IN COURAGE.

Courage goes beyond the physical. It is A GIFT that is as much internal as it is external.

Emotions…
Spiritual learnings/ experiences…
Personal encounters…
Callings of service…
Facing all sorts of fears (and then acting beyond them)…

I have been so heavily challenged in these in the past few weeks and there have been points where I’ve had to sit back for a few seconds and just process these things in the moment. But it is in these times that our actions determine our courageousness. Praise the Lord for being the Guiding Hand and my greatest Provider in the mission, for it is through Him I have found the greatest Consolation. And NO, the consolation is NOT A SOLUTION. It is in True Courage.

I am learning that COURAGE GROWS IN OUR HEARTS WITH GOD. COURAGE GROWS IN LOVE. It is being able to pray for serenity to accept the things I can’t change (whether it is the way people are or a specific event or task), the fortitude to change the things I can, and praying for the wisdom to know the difference. It is being able to allow God to work through my own self-awareness, conscience, imagination, and agreeing to act with my own independent will. It is being able to accept my emotions (in whichever way they come), but not allowing them to define my actions; it is prudence of heart and of mind to acknowledge them and act solely upon the will and call of the Lord. Courage is serving with faith, hope and charity, and acknowledging with prayer that I will always be called to grow deeper in all of this.

True Courage is the willingness to freely sacrifice with the sole purpose of growing in the faith, hope and charity in the Lord.

When I was walking back to the bus stop to head home after the morning Mass, I began take note of how many Franciscan crosses and symbols I have seen in the past few weeks. It’s funny because in the past month and a bit that I’ve been here in Israel, I’ve never really noticed how prominent the Franciscans are here… until now. And it is now, through this, that I realize that this whole time, God has been my Consolation and has been calling me to let Him be the source of Courage in my life. I chuckled a little and breathed out a sigh of relief as I began to recall the infamous song and prayer of St. Francis… Courage had been written all over it, and in courage, I find peace…

Make me a channel of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me bring your love.
Where there is injury, your pardon, Lord,
And where there’s doubt, true faith in you.

Make me a channel of your peace.
Where there’s despair in life, let me bring hope.
Where there is darkness only light,
And where there’s sadness ever joy.

Oh Master, grant that I may never seek
So much to be consoled as to console.
To be understood as to understand,
To be loved as to love with all my soul.

Make me a channel of your peace.
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
In giving of ourselves that we receive,
And in dying that we’re born to eternal life.

 

In this reminder, Lord, I pray that You continue to not only affirm me in my YES, but to remind me of all the things that come along with it – ultimately, the true privilege to serve with true peace, love, and joy. May You continue to graciously lead me to grow in virtue and to live every moment with a grateful heart. May You stand as the example of true mission – to allow myself to be used to exemplify Your love and service in a constant journey of conversion (in my life as much as theirs)… Lord, please protect the call for mission in my life, and to wherever else it may be leading me.

St. Joseph, pray for us.
Immaculate Heart of Mary, pray for us.
Sacred Heart of Jesus, have mercy on us.

Amen.
TOTUS TUUS.

Often times, we live life, reminding ourselves to be patient, to be loving, to have trust and to carry faith that God will reveal the answers to our prayers. And then every moment and every day seems to be a waiting game, where we live in sensitivity (but hopefully not over-sensitivity) to how the Lord is beginning to unveil the answers before our eyes. But the more I live out each day here in Israel, the more I’m beginning to see that answered prayers go beyond that. In the past few weeks, we kept sharing about how simply being here is an answered prayer to the four of us… that since January, this is what we’ve been waiting for. But hearing about how it’s been different in the community here, and even seeing and hearing about the difficulties that envelop the lives of those who live here, I realized that…

ANSWERED PRAYERS and the “WAIT” that encompasses around it are one in the same.

There is always a prayer, waiting to be completely answered. And as God continues to reveal them to us, the typical thing to hear is “wait patiently,” “pray with patience,” but what I didn’t completely realize is that as we wait for our answered prayers, the reason why there may be a wait in the first place is not just because it’s not time for us, but because it MIGHT be time for someone else. In the time we “WAIT”, maybe – just maybe – we are being called to be someone else’s answered prayer. If we are one community and one family in the Spirit of Christ, then wouldn’t it make sense that our prayers and the timelines of our answers might also intertwine… in ONENESS and in UNITY?

I realize now, more than ever, that in the joy surrounding my life here,  in the wait, I must also be firm in my faith and steadfast in the selfless love of the Lord to be sensitive to the ways He might be calling to use me as an answered prayer to those around me…

…as a missionary,
…as a daughter,
…as a sister (also in Christ),
…as a friend,
…as a woman of God…

…to be a vessel in completing the Lord’s vision of ONENESS as ONE LIVING COMMUNITY in all the ways He has called me to be. And as each prayer is answered, I must never forget that when it comes to God, there is never a moment He is not using us. Whether it is for ourselves or for those around us, every moment is an opportunity to grow in our YES’s to the Lord. Every moment is answered prayer.

 

Lord God, I simply have one prayer tonight… may You always protect my YES to You in Everything and with Everything…

Sacred Heart of Jesus, have mercy on us,
Immaculate Heart of Mary, pray for us,
Holy Family, pray for us.

AMEN.

We had attended a Patriach Mass in the past weekend, and it was definitely an experience to remember. During the Mass, there were 3 choirs. One from Couples For Christ, and two African choirs! For specific parts of the Mass like the Lamb of God and the songs sung at Communion, the choirs took turns singing their songs in English or their own languages. And for the Offertory, the different cultures that had attended presented their gifts in cultural ways and in cultural dress. Filipinos wore barongs and kimonas, and Africans were almost dancing in a prance, bringing up baskets of fruits and other food! However, the most beautiful thing about this was that what I was seeing was a living testament to the UNION God brings. To understand this, one must understand where I currently live…

In Israel, I’ve heard so many brothers and sisters warn me about being careful because of the specific cultures around us. Some Catholics are treated with different levels of discrimination as we are a minority, and specific “types” of people should be avoided because they’re “dangerous”. And St. Anthony – the parish where we attended the Patriach Mass – is typically filled with Filipinos. So when I walked in to see the diversity of cultures and to hear the culture come to life even in the Mass, I could not help, but think, “Yes, Lord, this is my dream right before me… UNITY.”

I don’t know what it is. Maybe it’s the state of the Catholic culture here, but one thing is for sure, I am thankful for the hardships and oppressions I have witnessed to and experienced here because if not for them, I would not see this tear-jerking beauty in something as simple as seeing a diversity in the parishoners at Mass! I wouldn’t see such value in all this unity…

Despite the hardships, despite the oppressions, people sacrifice their time and energy right after a lifestyle of taking care of other families to bring their own family to Christ. And despite the stereotypes and labels, it is all put aside in one celebration and shared with one another with humililty, respect, and beauty. One thing is for sure, if one could not find this unity out in one’s every-day-life, we all found it in the Lord in His church. At the end of the day, even the secular understanding of “unity” affirms me of what lies in the faith of the people here…

UNION – a state of HARMONY or agreement.

It is only in the Lord that in any sort of hardship or dispute, one finds Peace and is brought to Perfect Harmony. In this sense, the Church became my example. In my own struggles, the Lord is my strength. And because of this, division cannot exist in my heart, my mind, and in all that I am. I must strive to always be ONE WITH THE LORD, ONE WITH THOSE AROUND ME, living out ONE FAMILY throughout the world. If there is something I could take out of this, it is that it isn’t easy to be “one”… What IS easy is to see The One, Who is continuously loving us in every moment. Therefore, in actuality, to be “TOGETHER AS ONE” is to be TOGETHER IN GOD, WHO IS LOVE.

“A new commandment I give to you,
that you love one another;
even as I have loved you, that you also love one another.
By this all men will know that you are my disciples,
if you have love for one another.”

(JOHN 13: 34-35)

Thank you, Lord for these reminders.
Thank you, Lord for being Harmony in my life.

 

Sacred Heart of Jesus, have mercy on us…
Immaculate Heart of Mary, pray for us…
Holy Spirit, fill us as You will…

Amen.

We often hear that we are “CHOSEN,” BUT how many times do we truly, wholeheartedly believe this? Have I ever truly completely believed in this? Although it hasn’t even been 3 weeks yet, I can honestly say that it keeps feeling like the banquet never ends. It is as if God has so intricately placed me at His table, and all He’s been feeding me is an eternal-course PRIX FIXE MENU (a menu where the dishes are already set with a specific number of courses) of Love. From Hors D’Oeuvres, to Entrees, to Desserts, and palette-cleansing dishes, I’ve been called to go back to the basics of the basics of service, explore new crevices, re-ignite old talents, and try the new “dishes” I never thought could exist in my life (i.e. learning completely new languages, taking bus rides while being unable to read the destination or understand the announcements in the automated system on the bus, etc). It’s been hard. And we even joke around about how this feels like it’s our FTPW Training! But one thing’s for sure (that I know as a chef)…

One would never invite another to a banquet, without providing the utensils needed to dine in what has been prepared.

Despite all the events, I know that in the basics, He has already provided me with all I need to finish the course He has set before me. I realized that in mission and in any service, we must always allow ourselves to go back to basics… the heart of service – serving God. There will be times where we will have no acknowledgement whatsoever from those we serve and/or those we serve with, but a true SERVANT HEART will bear it with joy, knowing whole-heartedly that above all, it is taken to heart by the Lord, and that is more than enough. 

In bearing all this with joy, a SERVANT learns the intimate and life-giving love of a watchful Father and approaches service with loving, spiritual sensitivity.

In patience, selflessness, kindness, meekness, gentleness and without any self boast, a TRUE SERVANT OF GOD exudes Christ in his/ her life – Love. 

The “basics” of our journey in our faith are like the salt and pepper in a dish. Oftentimes overlooked, our experiences today would be TASTELESS and FLAVOURLESS without the basics. And sometimes, when we begin to over-think and over-complicate, God reminds us that we have always been seated at the banquet and the things set at the banquet would be nothing without the salt and pepper.  The basics are the little things God uses to set the foundations of the “flavours” in our journey – the banquet is already set. We just need to relax, have presence, give thanks and dine with our Father.

♥

Lord, may You continue to bring us back to the basics. May you continuously mold us in Your perfect love. Whether it be by surprise or in the things that are in already in existence and so carefully playing out in our lives, may You always be our guide in our journey of continuous conversion and discernment so we may be greater images of Your love each and every day. May we be open and have trust that our life is already “Prix Fixe” – all set by You, our Perfect Creator. 

Amen.