I don’t know how many people use or have used a vanity table. Most I’ve seen have 3 mirrors. It was my first time actually sitting in front of one and when I did, it was exciting and amusing. The first thing I thought was, “Where can I get one of these? It’s so easy to get ready. I don’t have to turn my head to see all the different angles while fixing my hair and make up.” I was so excited and so pleased to see how easily I could catch and fix all the bad angles. Then I caught myself and thought, “How IS this really beneficial for me. All it does is ‘fix’ the superficial.”

How many times in service (whether it is in the community, in church, in our families, in our friendships and in our employment) do we find ourselves hovering over this vanity table complex? There have been countless times where I have caught myself wanting to do something to LOOK like a good leader, or a good daughter, or to look like the best, the strongest, or the most capable. I used to want to do the things that were good so that I could look good and not because I truly wanted to serve those around me. And then I would catch myself, stop, then repeat the cycle. It became toxic, but it was easier. But to truly be a servant was never meant to be easy. From the very beginning, Jesus pointed out exactly what servanthood entitled us to. It wasn’t to gain a title of being the best or most capable of being good.

The only things servanthood entitles us to is sacrifice and surrender to the Lord, and sometimes, silence.

It is being good, as our Father is Good, with no entitlement and in silence. True servanthood seeks no recognition; it seeks only Love. Now this isn’t to say sitting in front of a vanity table is a sin, but it is to say that I realized that judgement of vanity goes beyond the superficial. It is not the action itself that makes it vain, but the true intention of the heart.

How have I learned to break out of this cycle? Honestly speaking, I don’t think it has or ever will permanently disappear. The reality is, I’m a sinner, and far from perfect. But what I have found fruitful is to seek the Lord. In all the things I do or say, I try to lead my heart wholeheartedly to seek the Lord always and see Him in me and those around me. That way, I am not “training” my body and my heart to be good, but rather “teaching” and learning myself how to TRULY BE GOOD, and live in the image of my Father Who IS Good. I will never be able to “fix” the imperfections to maintain a perfect look. In fact, that is impossible. But that’s what makes it beautiful, in the imperfections, I take comfort in knowing that it brings me closer to my brothers and sisters in Christ. We are truly a community of totally imperfect people, yearning and desiring to know God Who is Perfect. And in our trials, we are all journeying in a life lesson of love.

♥

 Lord, I ask that You allow me to learn to not guard my heart from temptation, but rather LEAD it closer to You. In all that I do, say, and think, may I always be able to see You first, and give thanks for Your Presence and living victory in my life.

Amen.

TOTUS TUUS.

I’m surrounded by the desire to love and be loved. During this holiday, it’s so easy to get caught up in this “love scene”. Having all the Christmas music, seeing the malls filled with couples and families and friends, and even sitting at a cafe right now, listening to a playlist of love songs… it led me to think, with all the romanticized ideas and traditions of this season of love, how many of us really open ourselves up to truly know Love? How many of us really remember the Reason to celebrate when the season has arrived? As I listened and relaxed to my playlist of love songs, all I could suddenly hear was:

Sing Me a love song…

How beautiful would it be to see the clusters of people in the malls as clusters of people, anticipating to the Adoration Chapel? What if instead of waiting for hours in front of stores, those line-ups were of people willing to wait hours, arriving so early to receive the True Gift in the Most Holy Eucharist, most specially during this season? What if instead of yearning for the secular fulfillment of love, we pray for the clarity to realize how we are already being called to witness to the Greatest Love – God, Himself, humbly coming to us in the form of mankind?

During this season, I can’t help but sit in this cafe, smiling and laughing to myself. I was listening to love songs, and I can’t help but think of the joy I have in this moment alone; the joy I have in being able to really just be me… to be here. The joy of thinking of Christmas, and feeling excited to celebrate the birth of our Lord Jesus, as opposed to just feeling excited about seeing what gifts I will receive or buy/ make for others (which is how it all used to be for me)… The joy of not feeling so swayed to relate a love song to a past relationship, or a specific person, but simply enjoying the song for its own tune – for what it is. The joy of being able to simply anticipate and celebrate His True Gift. That, to me, is a blessing.

With what will happen during this season, and/ or what will happen after it, I don’t know. But in all the unknown, I find peace in knowing He has already taken care of it all, and He is always loving and taking care of Me and all I hold dear in my heart. He is rooting and building my desires in love, beginning with HIS LOVE. And this is evident in all the things He has already blessed me with (i.e. safety, a blessed mission trip, the upcoming family business and the blessings of its preparations, and so much more)! So this Christmas, I will sing Love its love song…

JOY.

“I know, my God, that thou triest the heart, and has pleasure in uprightness; in the uprightness of my heart I have freely offered all these things, and now I have seen thy people, who are present here, offering freely and joyously to thee.”

(1 Chronicles 29: 17)

Thank You, Lord.

Amen.

“Bloom where you are planted.”
Sometimes, this isn’t always the thing I want to hear. Being completely real and honest, sometimes, the places I’m planted and the situations I find myself in aren’t always those I want to be in. Sometimes the things I hear or see around me aren’t always the things I want to see or hear. Then when I try to ask for advice about these times, I always hear, “Bloom where you are planted!” Filled with stubborness, I sometimes find myself looking down or looking away with the infamous “-.-” face, thinking: THAT DOESN’T REALLY HELP…HOW?! That’s exactly what I’m trying to figure out to do…

Rewind to the basics…

LOVE

“To love is to bloom where you are planted, knowing wholeheartedly that Someone has loved where you are long before you were ever planted.“

The reason I am where I am is not solely for others.
The reason I am hearing what I hear and seeing what I see is not solely for myself.
The reason I am asked to do what I do is not solely for those I love, but all of it is for, through, and by the Lord, long before I was ever privileged to take hold of it and be a part of it.

The reality is, we won’t always like where we are, the situations we may find ourselves in, or like the things we see and hear, but the grace in these circumstances is being able to see and understand the fact that God has loved these things before we ever were part of it. So for that very reason, there is worth and value in it. It is also understanding that in everything that exists, also exists a purpose. So in this, I will continue to be obedient and say my YES to the Lord so that I may always bring His purpose for me into completion.

Lord, may we always be ready to be humbled by Your Will, and carry a childlike faith, trusting that in all of these things, You are simply teaching us ways to LOVE MORE…

For others,
For ourselves,
And ultimately, for You,

Amen.

TOTUS TUUS.

This morning, as I washed my face, I opened my eyes and stared right into my hand and took note of the water I was holding. Having been washing my face for (blank) many years now, how have I only taken note of something so simple now. There, sitting still right on my palms was literally a handful of clarity…

Often times have I prayed for clarity or insight about the things in my life. Every morning, and every night, I had held something so clear in my hands, yet only noticed it now. How much more for the times that God has willingly placed moments of clarity in my life, but out of the lack of sensitivity, have I missed the chance to catch them? And in the way water washes away the dirt from our faces and wakes us up and/or refreshes us after a long day, God does the same for us in our spiritual lives…

Every day, and every night, God gives us moments to learn something new… moments to wash away the mud of our hearts and the dust in our eyes to see Him more clearly… to allow Him to be our Clarity.

So my prayer is this…

Lord, may we be able to walk with steady and open hearts so that in times that You so carefully place moments of clarity in our lives, we may be ready and willing to accept it and grow in a clearer understanding of how You are loving us, and how You want us to love You back, most specially in those around us, 

Amen.

“All agitation is destructive of good. All calm is constructive of good, and at the same time destructive of evil. When man wants evil destroyed so often he rushes to action. It is wrong. First be still and know that I am Good. Calm is trust in action. Only trust, perfect trust can keep one calm. Never be afraid of any circumstances or difficulties that help you to cultivate this calm. As the world, to attain, has to learn speed, you, to attain, have to learn calm. All great work for Me is done first in the individual soul of the worker.” 

Upon reading this, I remember all the times I have prayed for peace… peace for a country, peace in a specific situation, peace in relationships surrounding me, peace here and peace there. And although with good intention, we can often forget true peace begins from the person yearning and praying for it. To allow it to enter those around us, we must carry Peace in our heart, and be a true source of Him to others. And in this, I remember the wise words of a mentor…

“When we pray for something, God does not just give it to us. He brings us moments and opportunities to receive them and grow in them.”

Lord, may You mold our hearts to lead us in Truth in bringing Your Peace into this world…

AMEN.

During our SFC Household, we began to discuss the difficulty of the cultural differences here in Israel. Somewhere in the conversation, this topic came up: In Jewish culture, why do men sit apart from the women? Why do the men come first at the synagogue? One of the SFC sisters asked this question to her employer upon having a discussion about Christians and Jews. Her employer simply explained that it’s not to discriminate. Women spend their whole day taking care of the children, cooking for the family, cleaning and serving the household in so many ways. So the men, in turn, serve the family in prayer. They sit separately because the men must come earlier to the synagogue to pray for their families. Women later follow after they finish their tasks at home and rest and then join the men in prayer at the synagogue.

When she explained this, I felt amazed because all these years, I thought it was just out of hierarchy. But in reality, the reason being is because it’s their way of serving their families, and it is in PRAYER. It then reminded me of the service culture of our own community. We all have different ways of serving one another. And even beyond the community, different cultures and races have different ways of serving others. At the end of the day, we are all unified in service through the intention of LOVING ONE ANOTHER. To truly be Christ-like is to see this intention in others, and to pull away from judgement (which in fact, tends to be the main cause of division – JUDGEMENT and resultingly, PRIDE). Upon this discussion, I realized one thing…

Why are we always encouraged to talk to everyone, or mingle?

At first, I thought that the reason is so that we can challenge ourselves to truly move out of our comfort zones so that others may know that we are approachable… that we are available. But after the household, I realized it can also be something very simple. It is not so much to show others how approachable we are or to show them that we are available, but to also allow ourselves to increase our scope of seeing the Lord wherever we are. And it is also to break the limits of where we see God.

“God is Good,
All the time!
All the time,
God is Good!

God is where?
EVERYWHERE!
And everywhere,
God is there!”

If we truly believe God is EVERYWHERE, then this realization must be true. Jewish or Catholic, the truth stands…

We are all capable of LOVE.

When we remove all judgement, all that rests is peace, love, hope, and respect for one another. And in that love, we become one in the Lord, Who is Love.

Baruch Hashem!
(Praise be to God!)

…Even in the Jewish language, there is a way to PRAISE THE LORD (haha) !!!

TOTUS TUUS.

Serving with these kids at the Praise and Fashion Workshop of CFC KFC Holy Land was a great reminder of simplicity (especially in faith). Although it was intended for senior kids, it was nothing short from perfect witnessing to this with junior kids.

I was to guide the kids in posing and their Ate Charlaine was to guide their walk because they were too young to memorize the steps and poses. Perhaps this is the way we must allow ourselves to be guided sometimes. It’s easy to get caught up in memorizing steps and preparing all the details beforehand that we forget to catch the joys and leadings of the Lord in each moment. But if we let go of our worries and trust in the leading of our Father in each of our callings, then perhaps, like these children, we’ll become capable of seeing not only the task, but the Love in each action and deed. My prayer is simple…

Lord, I ask that You always bless us with a childlike faith…

Amen.