Author: Erin Gonzalez

“I trust in the will of God and His plan for me.”

 How many times do we tell ourselves that, yet we hardly know Him in our lives? We stand there and live each day, trying to convince ourselves that we believe that we trust in the will of God, and we forget that it is not about convincing, but CONVICTION.

It’s been such a hard journey for me as an MV, and praise God, now as a CMV, and let me tell you, it never gets easy. More and more challenges appear and it becomes harder to not listen to my desires, and to truly hear out His instead. The misconception is that our desires are bad, and only His are good. So, sometimes, it’s easy for me to think that my good desires are from Him, and the bad ones are my own. What I have come to realize is that even the good desires can be my own. But how can we tell the difference?

It’s as simple as PRAYER and DISCERNMENT.

Yes, our desires may be bad.
Yes, our desires may also be good.
But the desires of the Lord are perfect and they are BEST.

When we pray, we should trust completely in the Lord and come to Him with an open heart. I must empty myself of ALL my desires so that I may hear His. I pray that He will fill me with nothing else, but His desires so that in the good and bad times of my life, I will continue to see Him.

Yes, even the bad. When things go wrong, it’s easy to lose sight of a lot of things. But if we take the time to know God in adoration, in prayer and in others, it will be easy to see the joy in hard times… to see God in difficult moments. I know that His desire for me is the best, and that is why even when I submit myself to Him, I must continue to pray and pray even harder so that I will not lose sight of the joy, love, hope, and happiness that He has placed in my life in everyone and in everything.

It is just as they say: “The closer you get to God, the harder the battle gets.” But because I know God, I am no longer in the state of convincing, but in the state of conviction… Conviction in knowing that everything, both good and bad, is a step closer to being with my Father and rejoicing Him in all those moments is a victory in His name. So yes, it does get harder, but through patience and grace attained in Him through prayer, it makes life much happier because I can see Him and feel Him even more in every moment. When all else changes, HE remains. His love is true. His love is real. His love is and always will be. And as we submit ourselves and our desires to Him more and more, this will become easier and easier to understand.

Our Father who art in Heaven
Hallowed by Thy name
Thy kingdom come,
Thy will be done on earth
As it is in Heaven
Give us this day,
Our daily bread
And forgive us our trespasses
As we forgive those who trespass against us
And lead us not into temptation,
But deliver us from evil,

Amen.

Often times, in the midst of service and our every day activities, it is very hard to find joy in the things we do. Things get so busy and schedules are so hectic. Sometimes, we forget how enjoyable things can be. And then, coming back from an event as big as the International Leaders’ Conference, it is that much harder to not compare its success to other events. But if we are to always compare one event to another, we would never get anywhere. We sometimes forget that we must do everything with love, and if we do it with love, the work and its fruits will always be enjoyable.

If we do and acknowledge everything with love, we will recognize that victories are not only in the big events, but in the small ones as well! Victories that are seen even in the small things are victories seen in humility, and are victories claimed in His name. If we acknowledge that His presence is in every person and in every thing, we will be able to claim endless victories in His name, and wear a face of joy and rejoice! We must look at our lives with a lens big enough to see not only the big things, but the small things as well, and through a lens of simplicity so that we may always see God.

“Our joy is the best means to preach Christianity“.
– Mother Teresa

If we wear a face of joy, then people will not only hear us say that our God is enough, but FEEL the truth of the significance of His presence in our lives… that He is enough.

May He always be praised!

DEO GLORIA!

Love, it is simple. It requires sacrifice.

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.”
– John 3:16

This passage shows us an act of utmost selflessness; of utmost love. God loves us so much that He sacrificed His only Son so that we might be saved. SACRIFICE. We say that love requires sacrifice, but do we really know what this means? Do we really understand the extent of this sacrifice?

“Sacrifice, in order to be genuine, has to empty us of ourselves.”
– Mother Teresa

What I have learned in my mission trip to the Philippines is that sacrifice is not just about enduring. It is not about persevering. It is not about being able to last a few weeks in situations where you are uncomfortable, and enduring it until the 14th day, longing for that haven. Sacrifice is much more than that. It is enduring and persevering and letting go, giving up all that you have if you have to, not knowing what you’ll come back to, but trusting completely in the Lord. During my trip in the Philippines, the Lord truly conditioned not only my body, but my heart and my soul. I have realized that mission must be done with sacrifice in order to be done out of love.

I was taking a shower, thinking about how it would’ve been better to shower the previous day instead of the morning because the water probably wouldn’t have chilled overnight. The chilly night probably made the water colder and that’s why it felt freezing cold. I told myself that it was okay. I would just have to endure it for 2 more days. Then, as soon as I said that, in the midst of all the complaints and the hope of the day the ice cold “tabo” (bucket) showers would come to an end, the Lord truly humbled me and tested me, “You say ‘Endure it for 2 more days.’ The rest of you tell yourselves ‘Endure it for one more week.’ Think of my people! How many of my children do I bring into this world to say ‘It’s okay…endure it…try to get used to it. It will be for the rest of your life…’?? Out of the selfishness and arrogance of others, my children suffer. Erin, If I were to call you right now… If I were to ask you to stay right here with my people and start your mission now, would you do it??” And at that point, all I could say was YES, LORD, I LOVE YOU… I WILL.

I realized, then, that mission is not about enduring or persevering, but it is about BEING. “Being and bringing Christ wherever I am.” Christ came down into earth to BECOME us. He humbled Himself to feel the hardships and pain we felt. If we are called to love one another as He has loved us… to be and bring Him wherever we are, then in order to complete our mission, we are called to love in complete sacrifice as well. Not just the sacrifice of material things or physical things, but to renounce myself and let God fill me.

It was at that moment that I truly realized that mission is about being the people He sends you to, and not enduring what they endure. To be effective missionaries, we must serve His people by being them. By letting go of what makes us comfortable and being ready to dive into the uncomfortable because it is there, in that sacrifice (of self), that we will find God. It is there that we will find unity, and it is there that we can truly bring His love…one person at a time.

It begins with LOVE.

Serving in the SFC CLP has truly revealed something to me. No matter where you came from (country or community) and when you got here, it DOES NOT MATTER.

The SFC group I have right now comes from diverse upbringings. Some have come from another youth group, another has become inactive from CFC Youth for more than 3+ years now from a past chapter, and for some reason, they all ended up here.

There are so many things I was taught to question in life. And as I grew up, I kept trying to find the logical reason to everything. It has even reached a point where every action I made, or every action I have seen others make must have a valid step-by-step process and reason as to why. It even led to trying to find reasons or details as to why someone might be happy, or why they were sad, and it would bother me day in and day out until I knew why. But trying to figure these things out all on my own, “independently” is what was leading me to my downfall. I had become easily upset, easily angered, easily frustrated, easily sad, and easily disappointed… in myself and in others.

This year, with the new adventures God had put in my way, and through the new relationships I had formed, those that I have lost and the ones that I have and have strengthened, I had learned the real reason to all these floating and lingering questions that kept me tossing and turning at night. I learned that the reason for all the why’s and the who’s and the where’s  and the when’s and the what’s and ALSO how’s is God. God is the reason why, His plan puts me where I am exactly where I am now, His presence lives in me, in everything and in everyone, but more importantly, GOD IS. Through Him, all things are possible. With my belief in Him, life becomes that much harder, but in an easier way. And more importantly, there is no longer any tossing and turning because whether the answer is revealed to me now or later, it doesn’t matter because I now understand that everything I want to know and everything I need to know will be revealed eventually. If I ask, I will receive (whether or not what I receive is what I want) but in His time. The PERFECT time.

This song has been on my mind for the longest time. The lyrics are so beautiful that it’s as if my own heart were singing a song to Him each and every day. I know many people might not be able to relate, but for those that can, here are a few of the most real words a heart could ever sing to the Lord:

Verse 1:
Because I know You live
I’ll put my faith in this
That You hear my call
Lord, You hear me calling

Because I know You live
I’ll set my heart on this
You won’t let me fall
When all else is falling

Chorus:
When all You are is glorious, oh God
Victorious and strong
Whom shall I fear?
When all You are is powerful and true
And good in all You do
Whom shall I fear? Whom shall I fear?

Verse 2:
Because You’re on my side
I won’t believe the lie
That I’m all alone
I’m not all alone here

Because You live in me
My heart will still believe
That You came to save
And You’ll come to save me

Pre-Chorus:
I know You’re with me in the fire
You never leave me in the flame
I know Your thoughts are so much higher
And all Your ways are not my ways

Chorus:
When all You are is glorious, oh God
Victorious and strong
Whom shall I fear?
When all You are is powerful and true
And good in all You do
Whom shall I fear? Whom shall I fear?

Bridge:
You are for me
You came to save me
You will never let me go
In my heart I’ll always know
I know that You are for me
You came to save me
You will never let me go
In my heart I’ll always know

Music and lyrics by Lincoln Brewster.

Often times, we hear analogies of cups being filled, half full, half empty. And often times, we question, what are we filling our cups with?

Recently, I have realized that the change of one word can make such a big difference. I have always asked myself, “How full is my cup?” And “What am I filling my cup with?” I’m sure that many others have questioned this over a dozen times as well. Honestly, I’ve spent a dozen times more than the times I’ve questioned this, THINKING about all the possible answers. But then God revealed something precious to me…

A cup can be filled with almost anything! Juice, water, soda, snacks, wrappers and other waste. And if I continue to look for an answer about what I can fill my cup with, then I could spend years and years thinking about what I have put inside, and what else can be put inside. Honestly, I’d create my own dillema each and every day. But then I heard Him say, “WHO are you?” And in that question, I realized the simple answer behind the infamous question.

I am a child of God, and as His child, I am seen as treasure… finest gold… 

And this revelation isn’t just for me. Each and every one of us is TREASURE in the Lord’s eyes. Everyone is finest gold to our Father. So comparing myself to a cup that can be filled with everything and anything from food to waste, I must stop, but rather look at myself as a chalice. Why? Because a chalice is only filled with water and wine. The BODY and BLOOD of our Lord, Jesus Christ. If I stop looking at myself as a cup, and look at myself as a chalice, made of finest gold and God’s finest treasure, I will appreciate myself even more, and strive to fill myself with wine (representing God and the blood of His Son, Jesus, as the grandest sacrifice of love) and water (a symbol of life, and renewal).

God has never thought about filling me with waste. He never wanted that. I am a child of God, and whether my chalice (“cup”) is half empty, or half full, I will never be seen as any less important in my Father’s eyes if I fill myself with His endless and sacrificial love, and find renewal through the Sacraments, and life.