Ellish Maigue-Talacca – True North Missionaries Journal

Being with God

Yesterday evening after office hours, I attended a Spiritus Via event, an Eastern Youth Ministry monthly assembly (1 Wednesday of every month, like clockwork) on the topic of identity. I was blessed to have gotten a ride from an SFC sister who worked by Jane & Steeles (really close to the CFC Office). While I was originally expecting to attend the event by myself, I ended up at Saint Lawrence the Martyr Parish for the event with Filo and her friend Angela.

One of the stories shared by the speaker, a Chaplain at a high school, was the hardship of bringing students to experience Adoration for the first time. As he was kneeling before Jesus and looking about the very empty Chapel, he began asking Jesus why the students weren’t there. Before Jesus, he received his answer: “Go and get them.”

Inspired at the moment by the Holy Spirit, he rushed to his office to grab a box of rocks. Standing at the Chapel door, he gave a rock to each student that was passing by – regardless of if they were Catholic or not, wanting to take the rock or not. He directed and instructed them to bring this rock, to bring their burden to Jesus in the Chapel. And within two hours, the Chapel was filled with students.

What a powerful experience it is, that in being with Jesus, I can receive His instructions to bring Him to those that need Him (which is everyone, let’s be real).

In not so many words, the speaker’s message was the following: Regardless of what we do, our identity will always found in Christ, as sons and daughters of God. The point of departure before going out and doing something for God, is to be with God first.

Being with God gives direction to our what we our doing.
Being with God infuses our daily tasks with grace and passion.
Being with God re-focuses our posture to love our mission.

But more importantly, when we spend time with God, He reveals to us who we are now, who He wants us to become, and who we will always be to Him in our journey to holiness.

Who I am now – A YFC FTPW (yes, even if I’m 30). I am called to be like Christ, and so I can actively go bring Christ to others. This is the YFC vision.

Who He wants me to be – A missionary no matter where I am. I know that I am sent (again – being first) with a mission to proclaim the Gospel. Only by grace and through the Holy Spirit, can I do so in many creative ways, to many different people.

Who I will always be – A daughter of God. I know that I have Father that is always loving me no matter what I do.

All in all, God is with us. This will never change.

Newness in Christ

God’s morning friends – As I am typing, it is 7:19 AM.

I will be on my way to Ottawa today for the First Fruits Celebration soon. Tito Ferdie is driving to the Mission House and will be here in an hour. I’m on my second cup of Kopiko coffee. Perhaps drinking this much coffee is not a good habit. But today it feels necessary, being that I’ve been up since 5:30 this morning.

My sleeping pattern has been messed up since my return from Montreal on Thursday, at 4:00 AM. To feel renewed each day since has really not been in the physical. But there is a certain disconnect that dwells between my tired body and my spirit, for it is pretty much awake and alive.

Today’s Gospel recounts Jesus’ baptism in the river Jordan. Jesus appears to us as an adult. Much of his life before has been hidden from us, as the Gospels don’t really recount how he grew up from being that child “lost” in the temple to the 30-something adult that now walked the river to meet John.

God the Father, and God the Holy Spirit proclaims the divinity of Jesus at that moment -17 And suddenly there was a voice from heaven, ‘This is my Son, the Beloved; my favour rests on him.’ What a very beautiful moment this will always, and worthy of celebration today.

What speaks to me about this Gospel is the revelation of the Lord in the “silent” recounting of Jesus’ life before this moment. As a YFC FTPW, I’d like to direct youth to a passage in the bible and say “Here was how Jesus was as a teenager.” It would have probably made it easier for them in their strive to be like Christ. But such passage doesn’t exist.

I can only imagine and assume. This morning, I imagine Jesus interacting with Mary and Joseph and acknowledge… That perhaps the time he spent with them, his family was just that precious and sacred that he meant to keep it hidden. That this was a time where he allowed himself to grow silently in awareness of his identity and mission.

God’s revelations are beyond compared and cannot be trumped by any Newton’s “Aha!”apple drop moments (google how Newton discovered gravity). I am convinced – That experiencing newness is finding hope in the every-day, slow, seemingly silent revelations of God.

May God be with you in your own Nazareth (home) or walk to the Jordan River, all day and every day, friends. Prayers up for all First Fruits in all Areas and for a fervent start of the new Year!

In Christ our Life,

Ellish

Trust Your Heart

Therefore, I will now allure her, and bring her into the wilderness, and speak tenderly to her. – Hosea 2:14

My favorite title of Mary is easily Our Lady of Guadalupe. The simplest reasons, for one, she is the Patroness of the unborn and second, of missionaries. But for another – and looking at this picture just gives me the kiligs – she reminds me of how Christ literally… Can live within us (Galatians 2:20).

I believe the highest dignity of a woman in the mission is one who places concern on being a receiver of love. She not only prays in moments, but converses at length. She is not only protective of her heart but also trusts it, because knows it is the dwelling-place of God (CCC: 2563). It the a place where she not only brings her questions, but re-commits faithfully despite not having her questions answered. It is the place she “withdraws to” (not just her mind) especially during the toughest, busiest and even loneliest times in mission.

To not dismiss it because it really can sometimes be a burden to feel. It is her duty to not over “do”, to be able to listen to the movements of her heart. Christ lives and speaks to her there.

Our “wilderness” as women in mission – There’s always so much to do, and we see every detail of it. But in allowing ourselves to simply “be” in God’s presence can we truly receive. Here are God’s gift to me in my prayer time this week. It is a reassurance of who I am (design), and re-direction to certain life purposes (beyond the definition of a FTPW, and indelibly true regardless what I’m doing):

My design as a woman reveals that I was meant to bear life – To ensure that everyone around me is growing in relationship with God, and with one another is the main priority
My design as a Christian reveals that I am to yield to love – I don’t surrender to the to-do list, but to the Great Commandment (Mark 12): to love God and to love others.
My design as missionary reveals that I am to bring light – To those who know not of God’s glory and face (2 Cor 4:6). Glory and face specifically, because there are some that know of God, that serve in community for many years, but need to re-experience a surge of love, that flows in personally knowing Christ, in their current journey.

Quite simply… Lord, I offer my heart to you. May everything I am (not just what I do) radiate the light of your love. Our Lady of Guadalupe, Mother of Life, please pray for us

The Right Kind of Worry

Jesus’ great desire is a concern of love – for us to be united in love in all that we do.

Two days ago, I attended the recollection for all the service team for the upcoming Eastern CFC Conference… And spotted the following group of YFCs in attendance. It was then that I had a realization turned worry that sank into my heart – that this year, Ontario and its Areas were hosting at 4 Conferences. In all 4, no matter who the host Area is or ministry we repped, YFCs would be asked to serve. On top of regular activities and YFC priorities (God, Family, School, Needed Work, then service – in that order), this is a lot to do!

The Gospels for the past few days have been revealing to me, especially in this morning’s Gospel (John 17_20-26). The revelation that Jesus, has great desires for us. A revelation of the “whys” and “how” behind all the “whats” we are being asked to do. For one, that in all things, we are to be in communion with Him and with one another. This is what he ardently prays to the Father that, second, in his desire for the world, in seeing us, may believe in Him (John 17).

We are never alone, we are One in Christ and with one another. This is how Jesus looks toward the future – A hope, that we all may remain in love which unifies. Because anything done without love and without unity is not deserving credibility, for everything and absolutely everything, must be done in charitable and selfless love (1 Corinthians 16). Am I in love, and loving in all that I do? Out of this love, am I growing in virtue (and is really worry for me, really) – in patience with others, compassion, sensitivity to the Holy Spirit, etc. – in my service, mission?

Jesus’ great desires is the right kind of worry. Beyond tasks that need to be done, His worry, which is a concern of love for us, is priority above all things. Do I take the time to really listen to the desires and worries of Christ?

Christ blesses me with the following understanding in my prayer time with a peace that is beyond understanding (Philippians 4). We can continue to give of ourselves, go out of ourselves and give our lives fully despite our limitations (#ChristUnlimited) in service and in mission if we remain “in Him” (John 17), in love in all we do.

Counting Costs.

On selflessness.

The moment we start seeing our service just as a source of many costs (goals in life, time with family, excellence in school, hours of sleep, relationships, etc.) rather than a gift with many blessings (personal ones, not just fruits or victories in service), we are in trouble. For God always seeks to bless us and not harm us. (Insp. Jeremiah 29:11)

When Christ agonized about his mission in the garden of Gethsemane, he did not spend his time there counting the costs of it. Rather, completely vulnerable and honest before the Father, He lifted the entirety of his weakened will to Him. Abba,^[a] Father, for you all things are possible; remove this cup from me; yet, not what I want, but what you want.” – Mark 14:36

When I start to feel the weight of many costs, my response is an immediate submission of my one will. What a blessing it is to have moments of ‘agony’ that allow me to become fully aware of the weight of my mission. Yes, it stirs me, it bothers me and it does hurt some times. But I find myself no longer complacent or ‘lukewarm’. Reinvigorated, I re-offer my “Yes” to Him, and engage in it, commit to it wholeheartedly once again. Luke 1:38- Lord, may it be done to me according to your word… Not mine.

The consequence of Jesus completing His mission is the gift of salvation for all. The fruits of His mission were never meant for Himself, but for us. He freely accepted death, so that we may be the ones that would have new life in Him and with Him.

One of the most rewarding things about mission is counting the many personal encounters with the Lord I am able to recognize, especially when all I see around me are costs. In my prayer time, I see parts of Jesus’ agony to have also included the counting of costs for us- of every single person of the world, had his weakened will kept him from carrying out his mission. But gratefully, this lead him to be even more resigned to carry through.

Lord, out of love for us, you have always been single-minded for us. Grant us the grace to live solely for you by striving to be always forever mindful of your people in all that we do.

From Your Beloved,

@ Cinderellish

The Right Compass

On pointing others to Christ.

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I spent my Saturday in Ottawa for the Regional Youth Conference (RYC) for CFC-Youth Ottawa and Montreal. One of my personal highlights was seeing an overwhelming amount of youth from the West Chapter (Montreal is cluster size with 2 Chapters), performing for dance, worshipping, sharing, serving in production and simply being AT the RYC. It was only shy of two years ago when the entire Chapter fit at my house for a Household Assembly.

The West Chapter was my last MV assignment before going Full-time. I remember having hard meetings with MJ and Marko. Discussing, carrying out and processing successful and failed ways to address different issues- increase membership attendance, pastoring without CCS, inspiring leaders to step up (especially brothers). These meetings were at times filled with emotions (frustration, tears, impatience, but also joy, eagerness and most importantly hopefulness)

I spent my Sunday at Saint Wilfrid’s Meet and Greet, Parent’s Orientation and Cluster Meeting. It’s always an eye and heart opening experience to hear the concerns of members, leaders and CCs at the Chapter level. The directions we discern for and set at Area level (we’re talking 2 stories up in leadership, with Cluster and Sector) are kind of useless without visits at the grass roots.

In the meeting- I listened as a Tito consoled a Youth Leader for his failed attempts at communicating and following up on a Camp Leader (Prayers up, Camp Surrender!) and the pressure of having to take care of things while being in exam period. Tito simply said: “It’s okay, you tried your best. Now, we help you.”

As a missionary, it’s very easy to see ourselves as a “movers” of the mission in the different things we being asked to do- event planning (like RYC), giving trainings (camp trainings), running events (regular cycle of events). But what matters most is being able 1) to consistently witness of Christ’s love (even in crappy times, being to share about God’s every day victories in our lives), 2) simply assure others of God’s overflowing gift of mercy (needed words affirmation) and 3) to point others to the Lord’s work especially in hopeless situations (calling for and spotting the inspiration and pacifying movement of the Holy Spirit).

The is what sustains the Great Commission. We do this it by being active in our lives in the Spirit rather than reactive out of something else (our qualifications, self-promotion, etc.) in all we do in mission. We are that right kind of active (and certainly no longer reactive) in mission when we are always deliberate in building up members, youth leaders and even CCs (pastoring, mentoring, training) rather than being creative and trusting in delegating service tasks.

To be full-time for mission is to be full-time for others as servant leaders. Before moving, always being attentive to the hearts (not just needs) of God’s people. Some times, all they need is loving (not judgemental or expectant “i-gotta-ask-you-to-do-something”) presence – ours, and a reminder of the Lord’s in all situations.

The call to anyone to service is always suppose to be one of out of love- God love us with a personal, intimate, persevering, fulfilling love and we respond (in all we do) with that same love. If we do not see this anymore… Then how can point others to it? We have forgotten who we are as His beloved. Do we still recognize Him in all things? A reminder of our dignity as servants leaders from John 3:1-2:

¹See what love the Father has given us, that we should be called children of God; and that is what we are. The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. ²Beloved, we are God’s children now; what we will be has not yet been revealed. What we do know is this: when he^[a] is revealed, we will be like him, for we will see him as he is.

Simply Lord, may Your love shine through in all that I do.

From Your beloved,

@Cinderellish

Love Pledge

Holy Hour, Lenten Retreat @ Saint Stephen’s Chapel

Jesus, you know what draws my heart to yours. You know what draws me to your presence at this moment in this Chapel, and here in Toronto. I believe that you have answered a great part of my prayers in my discernment for my vocation in drawing me to what matters most- to choose and commit to loving freely and deeply, the way that you did, the way that you are now, and the way you always will.

I accept the challenge the length of Lent (and beyond) to live single-minded for you. Not solely prioritizing the needs and tasks of the ministry as a FTPW, but bringing you even closer and intimately into this busy world of mine. I’ll do this by not only praying- but fasting deliberately and practicing almsgiving all the more.

I will bring to your attention the intentions of the ones that I love- their broken families, their physical and all-around healing. I will strive to be an obedient instrument of charitable love, serving for the good of others and not of mine. I do promise to not be so stubborn and take care of myself more. But ultimately I pledge to deny myself, not counting the seemingly large costs of mission -Your Great Commission- in my life. Because I know beyond a doubt that you will always be the fullness that will satisfy all the days of my life.

I love You, my Lord and my God. (John 20:28)

Happy Saint Valentine’s Day.

From Your Beloved,

@cinderellish