What does living a life of mission feel like? Occasionally, I stumble across that one song at a random assembly/event, in a random area and exclaim…”That’s mah jam!” (my heart jam…)
*Heard at Ottawa Evangelization Rally Rally, Feb 1: “With all I am” (Hillsongs)
Into Your hand I commit again With All I am For You Lord You hold my world in the palm of Your hand And I’m Yours forever
Jesus I believe in You Jesus I belong to You You’re the reason that I live The reason that I sing with all I am
I’ll walk with You wherever You go Through tears and joy I’ll trust in You And I will live in all of Your ways Your promises forever
I will worship, I will worship You
Mission-speak, heart sings:
Every morning is a time recommit
To retain the same passion for His work
With the assurance that He has my future.
Above every expectation, I serve/love Him and Him alone
Jesus…I am reminded (that in everything)…I believe.You were and always will be the reason!
I will literally walk/bus/drive wherever You will go
These are the only places I trust will make sense of all the tears and joy
I will serve in love
I will strive to serve in the ways of heaven
“Fear the Lord and keep His law; that is what Wisdom is all about. You may know everything there is to know about wickedness, but that does not make you wise.” –Sirach 19:20-22
Lately the Lord has been reminding me that every day in Mission is only successful if it was lived in faithfulness and obedience.
Serving God despite feelings of unworthiness.
Committing to prayer even when in dark night (#stjohnofthecross).
Believing and stepping out in faith, even when you really don’t know (#hopemore).
Cooperating with the Lord in correcting that “one sin”.
To do little things with great love. To be wise is to make action of what He has spoken to us out of love. Ever since the injury to my knee, the Lord is still teaching me what it means to take every (literal) step…with the intentional purpose of loving the way Christ did (#hard). It feels impossible, but daring against all odds to do so is what makes a Missionary. Being a disciple is truly the work of the Spirit. Strength of man fails, but grace ends up being enough at the end of every mission.
It may be easier to gravitate towards “woe-is-me” when things get difficult in Mission (whatever that may be for each person), but it’s only in marching our own Passion and bearing our own Cross that we will leave the mark of Christ (Love) in the world.
When I found myself reflecting on John 19:26-27, I was brought back to the foot the Cross pondering Christ as Mary did. The effect of such a sight surely did not leave me the same. Hearts on fire allowed me to explore what happens in the depths of us when we behold and ponder: our hearts are strengthened in Christ’s love and are then called to action of deeper worship and even urgent evangelization.
The Heart
This song speaks first and foremost of the heart, because it was what made Mary the most excellent “behold and ponderer”. Her heart allowed her to recognize and love her son. Her heart trusted in the plans of the Father for Jesus. “Blessed are you, Mary, because you believed that the Lord’s words to you would be fulfilled.”(Luke 1:45) This verse captures the posture of heart that Mary excellently mastered. A hopeful heart sees a life beyond apparent death…the life of Christ.
Indeed, it is fixing the gaze of hearts beyond circumstance and onto who God is personally to us that will fulfill our every need. Hearts on fire portrays names of Himself that He has revealed to me this year: The Father, the Spirit and most especially the Son. Each has made known works of joy and hope in my life that has left me in awe. This heart song is one of gratitude for all the things He’s done.
Finding strength in Christ
When I think of a model of living that can navigate the perils of this world, I think of the life of Christ. The best example of selfless love was Jesus’ sacrifice through His passion. The best demonstration of God’s faithfulness is victory of Christ’s Cross. It is also in the person of Jesus that I found what it meant to have faith in action. He preached. He redeems. He was commissioned. “I can do all things in Christ who strengthens me.” (Philippians 4:13). Through His name I can be inspired in the same strength He received in obeying to the Father.
Christ was God’s incarnated presence in the world. This is why the tone Hearts on fire is grounded, hard hitting and striking. When the Lord lived in the world, He left footprints in the hearts of those He spoke to and ministered to. This song is meant to be a praise song, but of the invigorating kind. It is a song celebrating and testifying to God’s real presence in our lives.
A call to action
Lastly, Hearts on Fire builds on the victory beyond the Cross: the resurrection. Because of this, it looks into the upbringing of the Church through the fire of the Holy Spirit. It is through Its inspiration that many were converted back to Him. This story is not explicit when gazing at the death-ridden scene that is the crucifixion.
Hearts on fire is uniting and expresses a collective response to the Cross: We are hopeful in what is to come, for ourselves and for the world He desires to unite to Himself.
Conclusion
To behold and ponder challenges my heart to recognize on Christ with crucified on my own personal Cross. This original composition symbolizes the summit of my own Passion joined with His: I am not same after it because He has resurrected in my own dire circumstances. To know that Cross is the greatest expression of love is what will keep me ablaze in God’s mission for years to come.
Hearts on fire
(Lyrics)
Verse
Father God, Creator, our forever
You mercies are new every day
Son of God, Saviour and friend
You sacrifice has redeemed our shame
Pre-chorus
We sing for all You’ve done
We sing for all You’ve won
Your name is our strength
Chorus We see Your love in action
The promise of redemption
We’re filled with joy since You said
“You are mine”
Spirit lead us into
New life in Your salvation
Let Your glory come alive
Let Your glory come alive
Verse Father God, Creator, our forever
You mercies are new every day
Son of God, Saviour and friend
You sacrifice has redeemed our shame
Pre-chorus We sing for all You’ve done
We sing for all You’ve won
Your name is our strength
Chorus We see Your love in action
The promise of redemption
We’re filled with joy since You said
“You are mine”
Spirit lead us into
New life in Your salvation
Let Your glory come alive
Let Your glory come alive
Bridge (x3) Our hearts on fire, they burn with Your life
Lord, by Your Cross may we stand
Chorus (x2)
We see Your love in action
The promise of redemption
We’re filled with joy since You said
“You are mine”
Spirit lead us into
New life in Your salvation
Let Your glory come alive
Let Your glory come alive
“Then He opened their minds to understand the Scriptures.” (Luke 24: 45)
This line hit me yesterday from the Gospel. As someone who overthinks a lot (#understatement), I have my “thinking spells” where I just sit for some time and just “think”: about the day, people, life circumstances. There are times I have come out of some, and oddly somehow, actually felt more Confused rather than gaining Clarity…which is the purpose of thinking in the first place! What’s worst is somewhere down the line, and unconsciously sometimes, my heart then starts to get frazzled #metaphor. An oversupply of thoughts “does travel downwards”, and if it’s negatives on the day, people, life circumstances…my heart sure feels heavy.
Lesson learned: What starts out as a Head problem can eventually become a Heart problem-if we’re not careful. No wonder the prayer “take all my will, my mind, my memory.”
Only God can lead us to true Understanding. Only God can lead us to true Peace. Our own vision of and efforts towards people, places and circumstances will always fall short of the ones the Father holds. No human wisdom can replace His. No human “no-how” can outsmart God. It is only His action in our lives that will make us holy, and empower us to to serve and love others selflessly.
There is no escaping Big Life Questions even while being a missionary. (Who am I? Where am I being led? Lord, are you in control?). It was in an impromptu kitchen table discussion with some coordinators after Mass that He confirmed a message and posture that could help me be as calm as a cucumber and happy in the Mission:
I may not know, but God does.
I’ve come to understand that to experience the strengthening of the Lord from the inside out, one must be complete free and empty…of oneself. There are far too many thoughts, emotions and judgments circulating within; our human psyche is impulsive and messy. It downsizes plans, “things of heaven” to rational thought, affects our impression of people and of self, when if fact…”His ways are not our ways, and His thoughts are not our thoughts” (Isaiah 55:8-9).
Though very much beloved by the Lord…He is God and I am not.
RYC season this month has led me to the realization that I cannot do God’s will without grace: I need to heed the impulse, follow the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, and further, to surrender to His leading. I cannot lead myself to His will, because I am naturally always acting on my own accord #overthinker. What I need is not Knowledge on how to control and manage my life, but more TRUST and more SURRENDER to Hope in the plans that the Lord has for me…and this should be enough.
“May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, enough hope to make you happy.” -Victor Hugo
The first time I was called into Mission was during the blazing ages of C4 (Conquer Canada in 4 years), an age where CFC-Youth was called to zealously open parishes, high schools in every corner of the city, province and country . Every thing about life (time, energy, investments in relationships of those around me) was subject to the Mission. The tagline for me in those years was “abandon it all”, “whatever it takes”, “God’s Mission requires your whole life”, “Denial of self”.
Years of introspection later, the tagline remains with a different focus. In Mission, you may “offer your life” to the Lord (so at first glance, a loss), but the gain is so much greater, another life, one that is divinely inspired by the Holy Spirit.
I was told in a 1-1 with a Kuya: “For Missionaries to be effective in this age, they must not just proclaim the sacrifices, but the miracles He works though them.”
Attachments, desires, dreams, are not things to be feared or deemed hindrances to the Mission (i.e “sacrificed”), for these are all matter and material for Him (when reflected upon and surrendered) to work His miracles and changes in the Mission. A Missionary’s proclamation of the Gospel is their life . I may not be in my profession as a Teacher, but I am Teaching in His own way. I may be the greatest over-thinker, but this is where He is constantly changing me through the prayer “take and receive my liberty, my will, and [literally] my memory.” (*cue instrumental of Take and Receive). And this is just the beginning.
As He tackles the lists of sacrifices from within, His miracles continue to be magnified.
Lord, may I continuously desire conversion, so that I may proclaim Your Good News in creative ways to Your people.
Back in the day I used to be a big fan of espionage-themed shows like Alias and Nikita. Something about the “covert”, “secret” lifestyle of spies and moles really drew me in. The deception, the government conspiracies…all these were exciting to me.
Each day in Full-Time Work feels like an episode of these shows. Every turn of day, I get briefed by Big Boss, where He runs the “Op. Tech”, shadows me on coms while I complete the Mission. If I go of the script, repercussions do happen, but inevitable every twist in the plot ends in a hopeful ending. Repeat two to three times a day. Being in Mission is truly nothing short of a divine adventure:
It requires allegiance to and trust in greater cause (CIA Christ)
It celebrates victories that are not merely your own, but more those whom you serve. (love of country love of people of God)
It requires complete surrender. (witness protection program for loved ones? #Goddoesntneedthat)