About two months ago, a couple I know was supposed to get married. I say was because two weeks before their supposed big day, they called it off. The bride to be asked the groom to be to sign an 8 paged prenuptial agreement and this didn’t sit well with him. As soon as news broke that the wedding was called off, we started having discussions regarding what and why it might have happened as well as the ramifications that came with it. We concluded that the bride does not seem committed because she’s already thinking of the marriage ending on a sour note and how their assets are to be divided if things don’t work out. In the same way, if the groom really loved the bride to be, he should have lowered his pride and signed it; As difficult as it must be for him to do. For both of them, love should have trumped all and the need for the prenuptial agreement should not have been there in the first place.
Around this time as well, I was also asked to discern for a new service role. My reason for going to New Jersey was to attend the wedding as well as have some peace and quiet especially since the past few months were filled with events. I also wanted to spend time with my relatives who reside in the US and those visiting from the Philippines. But alas, discernment was thrown in the mix. As I was reflecting one morning, the discernment and the prenuptial agreement were the things I happened to focus on because I realized, when we are discerning for a new service role, we shouldn’t go into it with a pre-service agreement or thinking as such:
“Hey God, I’m going to say yes to serve you as (insert position here) but please give me an assurance, give me a sign that if I get bored in a role or it gets too hard, I’ll be moved after two years.” or “Hey (service head / household head!), I’ll say yes if I like who my new counterpart is. But if I end up not liking the way they do things, can you please move one of us?” Or say yes to the service role with the thought that if it gets too difficult, then we should have a one on one with our household head and tell them we’re stepping down.
The “higher” our role in the service hierarchy is, more things will be expected of us. We will have to do more and we will be pulled in different directions: two meetings in one night, three one on ones in a span of two days, numerous emails we have to reply to. Sometimes, we have to make a call and cancel some things previously planned in order to accommodate an emergency meeting for an issue that is more pressing. Add to that the things we have to do for school or work as well as our responsibilities at home, there will be times when it can get overwhelming and the thought of wanting an easier service role will constantly hound our thoughts.
Service is never easy. But it should not mean that we won’t exert effort to fight for it when things are too much to bear. We should not go into it with the mentality that we can step down anytime as soon as things don’t go our way. When things get hard, we do our best to exhaust all our options, try our best to resolve things, and seek to improve rather than give up. When serving, our pride should be one of the first things to go and we need to remember to ask for help from others because we are a community, after all. Our CCs and fellow leaders are there to guide and journey with us – all we need to do is ask so that they will know how best to support us. Even if we don’t understand why our leaders are asking us to do things we may not be comfortable with, we need to remember to trust in their discernment. More importantly, to trust God that He will be with us as we do His work and that He will carry us through it. When we serve or when we say yes to a new service, it should be with our entire hearts. Unconditionally because God deserves nothing but the very best from us. Above all, our love for God and nothing else should be the force that drives us to say yes and go beyond ourselves.
Lord, as the year comes to a close, I pray for all the potential leaders who are being discerned for and all the incoming and continuing leaders who have said their yes to serve You. May you guide them in their discernment and may they look to You as they lead and serve their members in the year to come. Allow them to remember to turn to You and Your love when things get difficult.