I’m not going to lie… When I was offered a job at St. Joseph’s Workshop, I was ecstatic because it meant that I would have some sort of income to work towards registering for TNC2014. But when I came home to discuss it with my parents, they said no. I prayed about it and even contemplated booking the flight and registering without them knowing so I can go (cause it would be more expensive to cancel), but I knew that above all, I had a call to be obedient to my parents in this situation, so I didn’t argue further. I began to feel afraid, thinking I NEEDED to be there because I’m an MV, and my endorsement might be taken away because I’m the only MV who couldn’t make it and serve. This went on for months, and I was even afraid to tell anyone because I thought that if I said anything, they might not have been thinking about it, and then I would be putting the idea in their minds, hence, causing my own downfall (It’s silly, I know…) But I realized that the root of all this had sprung from my endorsement too…

I guess one can say it’s been a “waiting game”… many of us had thought that upon endorsement, we’d be placed with an area right away and then we’d be off for training. Needless to say, the Lord had chosen to be funny with me (in all the good ways, of course)! It’s been 6 months since my endorsement and I still have not been placed with an area. But to be honest… we all know that with God…

There is no such thing as a coincidence.

In the months I have been waiting, God put me through a roller coaster of challenges. This time, they were no longer challenges in the technical ins and outs of service (i.e. manuals, structures, trainings, etc), but challenges of the heart, and the deeper levels of it too…

LOVE.

PATIENCE.

HUMILITY.

Sooner or later, the “waiting game” began to feel like it was a waiting game of when something would explode. Maybe of when my heart would explode? A little dramatic, yes, but this is how real it was for me…  It had began to feel like I was walking on a thin line, so when my parents said no, I felt like it was a moment in Minesweeper, where I didn’t know if it was a flag or a mine, and I was anticipating a mine to explode… My heart began to feel restless…

Months went by and I had been silent about not going to Conference. I only told my counterparts, mentors, but otherwise, I wouldn’t say anything about it unless someone would ask. And then at the very last minute, I received a call to go to the Philippines to sing for the CFC Anniversary on June 21. I left for 2 weeks, and upon returning, a few days later, I received a call to take on preparations for one of our mission parishes’, Our Lady of Lourdes, Meet and Greet for the parish youth. I said yes, but then called back soon after because I had forgotten that it was my cousin’s wedding the same day… A few days later, I prayed about it and realized I could still help with the preparations and serve the service team, leading up to the day. So I got back to the Couple Coordinators and got back on board!

I realized, then and there, that I had been too expectant as a missionary. I had also been carrying the attitude of a pick-and-choose missionary.

This whole time, I had been so caught up in thinking that the mission would be where I would be assigned, OR that the mission would be large at Conference. But if mission sprouts from the need of love, and the mission call is an anointing by the Lord, then the Lord – being limitless – makes the mission limitless as well.

MISSION is not bound by Conference, alone.

I had been called to the missions surrounding my life to break down any walls that were preventing me in growing in ultimate love, patience, and humility.

1. In Philippines, I had been so blessed to journey with the brokenness, and rejoice in the love that surrounded me, re-defining the love of a family.
2. My cousin then opened up to me that in spending time with me and just talking about faith and our lives, she now wants to join CFC Youth and is praying about mission work too, redefining evangelism and mission in the family.
3. Upon serving in the preparations for OLoL, I realized that even that moment was mission too. It’s the first Meet & Greet of the parish! PRAISE THE LORD!!!
4. In the weeks leading up to the Conference weekends, I had also been able to grow in fellowships with my household, redefining true servant sisterhood in my life with the Lord.
5. During our family prayer time, my dad and I looked surprised because my mom lifted up a prayer specific to God’s hands in His timing and placement of mission for me with complete sincerity and submission (which never really happened in family prayer before).

It took me all these events to realize that while I had been so cautiously minding the mines, I had forgotten all the areas where I could put the flags on. I had been trying to tackle trickle around the mines, being blind to the obvious flag areas – the obvious moments God had been calling me RIGHT WHERE I WAS to mission. And it was only in an increase of my date times (prayer times) that I had realized where the blessings were.

MISSION IS NOT LIMITED BECAUSE GOD IS NOT LIMITED.
MISSION IS EVERYWHERE AND IN EVERYTHING BECAUSE HIS LOVE AND PRESENCE IS EVERYWHERE AND IN EVERYTHING.

I was reminded of the basics… I was not called by human intellect, but by a Divine Call. Mission as much as love cannot be defined by one task or one place, but by everything that is called and created by God.

MISSION is NOT about what I do ALONE as an individual, but how I allow God to use me in whichever way He wills.

TRUE MISSION, with or without consciousness of it, truly manifests when it is as much for others as it is for myself (if anything, it is MORE FOR OTHERS and much less for myself).

MISSION is allowing myself to be challenged to see and capture God in EVERY GIVEN MOMENT.

Whether I am placed somewhere else or still waiting right where I am, I know I called. Furthermore, I know I am anointed, and I know whether it is now or later, time will come, but I firmly believe the Lord places us PERFECTLY in PERFECT TIME.

Mission is UNLIMITED.

It is a call to bloom right where the Lord plants me,
and because the Lord plants me, I am not afraid…I am at peace.