about a month and some weeks ago, we had our first campus based household. in the service meeting we had prior to it, all four of us (Niccolo and I plus our CCs) thought it was very fitting to keep it light – the consensus was we would try our hardest not to get too serious. It was the first household afterall, and the goal was to get to know one another better.
we basically had a predetermined set of questions that ranged from the ridiculous, as in, is Hash Brown the long lost brother of Chris Brown?, mundane ones like what’s your ideal vacation?, and a few that are more CFC-Y in nature. for example, which character from the Bible do you most identify with? before we started the activity, we allowed everyone to write their own questions. they were then placed in the fanny pack and as the fanny pack was passed around, everyone had to pick one to answer.
going into the household, therefore, my mentality was that it was going to be light and refreshing – something I sorely needed from the monotony of working with spreadsheets and things from the past that are making their presence known and felt yet again.
we had worship in the beginning and although I didn’t read it out loud to the entire group, the verse I first saw when I opened my Bible was:
There is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known. – Luke 12:2
so much for keeping things light.
the fanny pack for serious travelling became known as the fanny pack of truth because of the 6 questions I got, 4 were on the serious side (the people present in that household can attest to this). the questions really forced me to reflect and to dig deep within. some of the questions were so heavy that at one point, I was telling them to let me pass a turn or trade a question with someone else because I didn’t think I could answer anymore. eerily, the verse above precisely described how the night was for me.
later that night as I was reflecting on the experience, I realized that as uncomfortable as that household was for me, God used it as a way to remind me of three things I tend to take for granted. as an MV, three things I know He knows I need as I continue to discern for my vocation.
one, God always speaks to us but we have to be sensitive to the leading of the spirit in order to understand what He’s telling us. I should’ve taken the Bible verse as God’s way of telling me to be prepared to share. or a sign to excuse myself from the household and hide in the bathroom the entire night (LOLJK).
two, God’s timing is always perfect. it may have taken 6 months for me to open up but after each answer came a sense of relief and a feeling of peace; a feeling I know is only possible when God is guiding my steps and is with me. it may sound weird but it’s the exact feeling I got after I handed in my MV application, when I started my post grad program, when I said yes to service roles in the past, and a bunch of other stuff that led to nothing but the best for me.
three, I sometimes fail to see God’s answer to my prayers because it didn’t come in the form I was expecting it to come. see, ever since I became program head, I’ve been praying for the grace and courage to let me open up and tell my lower household stuff. I suppose picking those questions from the #fannypackoftruth and being forced to answer them was God’s way of telling me, “I know you have a hard time opening up. and I know you share when you’re asked directly or when you think it’s in the proper context. so here ya go, Sab! the perfect opportunity to tell them things without you having to initiate it.”
thank you for Your plans and being there for me. may I always remember that Your timing is perfect and Your answer to my prayers will sometimes be in ways I’ve never imagined or thought possible- but that’s okay; because Lord God, You know what’s best for me. may I be sensitive enough to hear Your voice and Your will for me amidst all the distractions and everything else that’s trying to divert my attention away from You.