This weekend has been something I had been looking forward to. I was taking a camping trip with a close family friend for her birthday, and I was hoping that being so far away, I would be able to kind of find that “escape” from the busy-ness of everything and really, truly, find God in nature once more, in a similar way I did in the provinces of Philippines… The weekend went by, and needless to say, I was away from the city, but I still felt the hustle and bustle of everything as I pitched the tents, cooked meals, cleaned, helped plan the itineraries, etc. But as I’ve always experienced, the Lord never fails to provide, often times in ways I don’t expect.
To be honest, with the recent expectations I have been facing, it hasn’t been easy trying to figure out which new things should be prioritized more. Service has been tested in all areas of my life (i.e. family, CFC Youth, SFC, friendships, household relationships, prayer time, myself and my health, etc.) Often times, I had felt the 50/50 feeling when choosing between the different ways I am called to serve. CFC Youth or SFC; the CFC Community V.S. family; friendships V.S. fellowships; community service or time to let myself rest, etc. And sometimes, the answer is so clear, but the circumstances make it so hard for me to say yes to one and/or no to another. So this trip over the weekend, although planned about 3 months ago, happened to be something that came just in time.
Looking for this “relaxation,” I was surprised to find that God had already chosen to give me what I had been praying for. It just wasn’t in my camping trip to Tobermory. It was at the very end, after we had unloaded all vehicles, cleaned any dirty dishes, cooked dinner, and finally, when we entered Merciful Redeemer Parish for Holy Mass. When I walked in, I noticed that the priest, Father Vid, was standing there with his vestments, but they were red. Being so caught up in what I felt like I needed, I had shortly forgotten that today was the Pentecost.
In the homily, there was one small thing Father Vid said (and he said it in this way due to the slight slang in his language), but it really spoke loudly to me:
“We need Holy Spirit.”
But as soon as I heard him say it, and understanding exactly what he meant, my heart beat to a different understanding of Father Vid’s words…
We need WHOLLY, Spirit.
WE. It is not a judgement to put upon others. It is a call to a desire that is called for everyone. None of us, especially ourselves, are exempt from sin. “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.” (John 8: 7) His call is one that is and will always be unifying!
NEED. I need the Holy Spirit. The Lord was humorous in reminding me this on the day our Church celebrates the Pentecost. As he said this, a little girl caught my attention as she walked by me. She was a special child of about 12 years of age. Upon entering the church, the first thing she did was kneel down in front of the painting of Our Lady of Perpetual Help as if it was something natural to her. She needed God… she needed Him through the intercession of Mama Mary… and her heart, despite of her weaknesses, had this ‘need’ etched right in the center of her desires.
WHOLLY. It is a need that needs to be COMPLETE. This desire cannot be a temperamental desire. It cannot even be a cloudy desire. It must be a convicted and clear desire for a specific leading. It must be a desire that cannot be moved by belief, but by faith. The little girl, upon the consecration of the Eucharist, did not just kneel and slightly bow her head, but she knelt down in prostration, completely submitting to our Lord at the altar. As she stood up, waiting for her turn to line up, she kept hugging her dad in excitement knowing that in a few moments, she would be receiving Him through the Holy Eucharist. With this little girl near me, I could not see a child; I could only see Our Mother with a childlike faith and excitement to meet Him, Whom she loves. This little girl was not just special because of her condition, but because in her weakness, she can feel the Spirit; not only in holiness, but in WHOLENESS.
SPIRIT. It is recognizing that in any given case or situation, it is the HOLY SPIRIT we need; it is God’s Spirit. The little girl naturally desired the Lord. She DESIRABLY, JOYFULLY, and CONSTANTLY seeks Him out, even more deeply in Holy Mass. It was the FIRST TIME I had ever witnessed to anyone carry that posture upon receiving the Holy Eucharist at Holy Mass. Yet, it was just what I needed. THAT WAS MY MOMENT OF RELAXATION.
To truly be relaxed has nothing to do with where I am or who I’m with. It has to do with the state of my heart. And how much more could the Lord remind me of how much I need Him and the COMPLETE guidance of His Spirit than on the day we celebrate the Pentecost?
I AM BLESSED because He continues to constantly shower me with His Presence in all the tangible and intangible ways, and beyond all of that, He does so in a way that beyond what my mind thinks I need, my heart and my soul knows… IT IS THE LORD in everything, for everything, and with everything. So it is in this that I believe – whether it is slang in language or a personal message from the Lord…
I need WHOLLY, (the Holy) Spirit.
“For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ. For by one Spirit we were all baptized into one body—Jews or Greeks, slaves or free—and all were made to drink of one Spirit.”
(1 Corinthians 12: 12, 13)