Yearning

Alright, so this past few weeks of being able to reflect on service, RYC, family, personal life, vocation etc etc…this is definitely something that I have never felt before…well I have but not to this intensity where it affects my day and can really change a lot.

I have a desperate, DESPERATE yearning to find something…

I don’t know what it is…To be honest, I was desperately trying to ask the Lord for whatever it is He wants me to ask for…I couldn’t figure it out. I tried. I felt distracted. Yet, everyday I’ve been trying and trying and trying to find what I’m looking for…figure out what’s missing. I love my service, I love my family, what else is there?

All I know is…I’m seeking. There are a lot of things I can pin point, but it feels as if what the Lord wants me to look for is SO MUCH MORE…I feel disheartened that its taking me so long to find what my heart is yearning for.

Pray for me. Maybe this coincidence in having this need to seek is His providence in this upcoming MV SHOUT tomorrow.  I don’t know. Somethings just missing. My hearts always been emptied for the service of the Lord and others, maybe this time He wants me to fill my heart with something that will fulfill me for a long time. Who knows…I just..REALLY REALLY want to know what it is or find it.

Lord, at the times I’ve been disheartened and impatient with You, please allow me to persevere. I don’t know what it is You want me to find, but allow me to remain joyful in the journey along the way. I need You so much…Open my eyes. Open my heart. May my pride and insecurities not get in the way of choosing to love You. No matter how much it hurts. Jesus, King of Mercy, I trust in You.

Amen

Deo Gloria