I’ve been finished school for a month now and I’ve been blessed with so much time to give myself in service to the Lord while looking for a job. I understood that with a great amount of availability within my schedule, the Lord will ask much of me. Recently I began to ponder what the Lord’s asked of me and unfortunately I let the magnitude of responsibilities aggravate me, so much that I started to feel very anxious. To me, this was not good because within less than 6 hours I would be on a ferry to Victoria for a core household and I didn’t want to come with a heavy and selfish heart. I would wanted to come with a heart eager to give.
Slowly God’s grace began to work in me as He allowed me to recall His providence and faithfulness. In His providence and faithfulness I was given the grace to trust Him. I felt more at peace but I knew the Lord still had more to reveal to me because I still had a hesitant heart. Throughout my stay in Victoria from Saturday to Sunday, the Lord really blessed me. I was able to really spend time with Christ. Not in the church or through the sacraments but within the household. I felt His humor while the brothers made bacon pancakes (we greased the pan with bacon grease). I felt His friendship and camaraderie when our household played in a park for 2-3 hours, listened to Christmas music, painted the chapter’s RYC banner and karaoked. I felt His joy every time the household laughed and smiled. I felt his cultivating love during the teaching and discussion. I felt his parental love through my couple coordinators. And I felt His longing for my heart every time I was shown sacrifice and mercy.
I remembered St. Peter and his experience of when the Lord came to him walking on water during a storm. After St. Peter fell Christ picked him up, brought him back to the boat, then he and his household just worshipped Christ. I bet they had good times right after jokin’ with Peter about what just happened hahaha!
This entire experience has shown me that when I doubt, Christ points me toward my household. Because His love through the household gave me strength and reminded me that the household is always a place where I will encounter Him. It will always be a place where I can be shown joy and love. It will always be a place where I receive comfort and affirmations from the Himself. Comforter of the Afflicted, please lend me your heart.
Totus Tuus