postgrad x mv

peace is not the absence of trouble, but the presence of God

this week, I started my post grad program in social work. it’s a fast track program meaning instead of a two year program, I would be able to complete it in a year’s time. I almost regretted my decision when I realized that they would compress a whole semester to 5 weeks because I mean,

• the pace of the lessons and the lectures would be fast. really really fast. super fast.
• there would be a quiz / test / assignment due every day of the week
• the readings would be aplenty and abundant. as in 3 – 5 chapters for each meeting
• it’s just really scary to think of the amount of work. how does 4 months become 5 weeks? how? just how?! is this even possible?
• I am not a morning person and all my classes start at 9am
• bloor and yonge station is chaotic in the morning
• how am I supposed to balance school with  family time, time with friends who are on summer vacation right now, service, plus MV tasks?

because I was panicking last tuesday, I called a friend who’s in the process of getting his PhD. I knew he would be able to calm me down since he’s experienced all those things minus service and MV assignments; and true enough, he told me that while the experience would make me want to cry and tear my hair out at times, I should never forget why I applied to the program. he even sent me a link to a song by Kim Boyce called Not Too Far From Here and it was just what I needed to hear that night since it pretty much illustrates why I want to be a social worker in the first place. as an added bonus, I realized that the song also intersects with being an MV (YAY, affirmed!)

Somebody’s down to their last dime
Somebody’s running out of time
Not too far from here
Somebody’s got nowhere else to go
Somebody needs a little hope
Not too far from here

And I may not know their name
But I’m praying just the same
That You’ll use me, Lord
To wipe away the tears
‘Cause somebody’s crying
Not too far from here

Somebody’s troubled and confused
Somebody’s got nothing left to lose
Not too far from here
Somebody’s forgotten how to trust
And somebody’s dying for love
Not too far from here

It may be a stranger’s face
But I’m praying for Your grace
To move in me
And take away the fear
‘Cause somebody’s hurting
Not too far from here

Help me, Lord, not to turn away from pain
Help me not to rest, while those around me weep
Give me Your strength and compassion
When somebody finds the road of life too steep

Now I’m letting down my guard
And I’m opening my heart
Help me speak Your love
To every needful ear
Someone is waiting
Not too far from here

I don’t know if it’s because I’m doing something I’m passionate about, the realization that I’m one step closer to the career I’d like to pursuit in the future, or because I would be able to apply some skills towards being a better household head / better MV but… Praise God because despite all the anxiety that comes with those bullet points, I’m still able to feel peace.