During my transit ride this morning, Humble by Audrey Assad came on. And I could not help but be drawn to this part of the song,
Humble in sorrow, You gladly carried Your cross
Never refusing Your life to the weakest of us
Not too proud to bear our sin
To feel this brokenness we’re in
Humble, humble Jesus
Various thoughts, experiences and conversations had suddenly come to mind. The thoughts of pain, suffering and being hurt specifically came to mind.
I had a conversation with a couple of sisters some days ago and we talked about how good and loving the Lord was and is in everything. We were sharing about our experiences and feelings towards various things. And eventually, we started talking about the matters of the heart. In some parts of our sharing, I was left with a question that my heart could not fully understand.
Where is the Lord when we’re hurting?
Earlier this evening, while going through my book case looking for something to read, I stumbled upon a book I received a while back. Very ironic if I do say so myself. It was a book titled, Where is God when it hurts? by Philip Yancey. Sad to say that I have not read the book fully. So it is definitely in my reading list for the summer. Maybe If I had finished the book, I could have understood the question that lingered in my thoughts? Most probably. Maybe? Lol!
As I skimmed through the book, this caught my attention,
“Think too of all who suffer as if you shared their pain.” – Hebrews 13:3 (NIV)
I kept wondering why the Lord had kept revealing to me words of suffering and pain. In this one most specifically, in sharing of others pain.
Then thoughts of past experiences of being in heart breaking situations came to mind again. I kept wondering, and kept asking myself why He had wanted me to remember all the pain that I had been wanting to forget. And still, I could not understand why. As I was pondering more on the song, this part stood out.
Not too proud to dwell with us, to live in us, to die for us.
The conversation that I had with the sisters came to mind again. I remembered someone had said that when we are hurt and feel so much pain, Jesus is hurt and feels the pain as well. When we cry, He cries. The pain we feel is the exact same pain that Jesus feels. If not, even more.
The Lord is all powerful, all knowing and almighty. So why would He allow Himself to experience our hurt and our struggles? Why would He, Himself, the King of Kings, the Prince of Peace, the Alpha and the Omega lower Himself to our level?
As the song kept playing, I kept remembering all of the times that I had been hurting. But I had also remembered being joyful, laughing and smiling afterwards. You see, It was not the pain that He had been wanting me to remember, but rather, what I had experienced after because of Him.
He had wanted me to see beyond all of the pain that was buried deep in my heart. During those times in where I had been feeling these certain ways, I remember always turning to the Lord for comfort. I felt like a little child sitting on the Fathers lap. Carrying me as if He were holding a delicate flower. With ears focused on my voice, and eyes full of love. He was there, waiting for me to speak to Him. Even when I became angry and frustrated at Him for allowing me to experience the hurt, He was still there. And even though He already knew what was in my heart, He was more than willing to listen, but more so, He was waiting for me to find my comfort in Him.
No doubt, the Lord knew that I needed Him the most. And He did every possible way to break me so that I would always continue running to Him. The Lord had wanted me to know that, in my struggling times, He was the One I was to run to and no one else. He was sharing in my pain because He did not want me to go through it alone. He carried me while carrying my cross. My cross was His cross.
“Sometimes, the only way the good Lord can get into some hearts is to break them.”
– Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen
The Lord is all powerful, all knowing, and almighty. He does not need to hurt but, He does because He loves us. He is not proud. And He most certainly does not boast in His power. He lowers himself to be with us because He loves us.
Simple as that. Because He loves us.
“We love because He first loved us.”
– 1 John 4:19
