“WHAT DO YOU DESIRE?”
The journey to this weekend began with this one question. What do you desire? My answer seemed simple. Full Time Pastoral Work. I want to be a Full Time Missionary. And God has been so gracious in guiding me in this desire. Earlier this year, I had been endorsed to Full Time Pastoral Work, and as I await the moment I am called to an Area, the Lord has definitely not been silent. In fact, He has begun to make this journey much more personal to me.
As we entered the sessions of the evening, the Lord allowed me to dive deeper in this desire…
Full Time Pastoral Work.
It does not just pertain to my family and the greater family of Couples for Christ and its ministries, nor does it begin or depend on whether I have a placement or not, but He was already molding my desire from the very beginning. I realized that I had been focusing the mission in my family and in the community so much that there are still other areas in my life I had been ‘compartmentalizing’. So in order to fulfill my desires, the Lord had opened my heart this weekend to allow myself to be vulnerable in ALL aspects of my life.
Although I’m not officially a Full Time Pastoral Worker just yet, it doesn’t mean the mission in me cannot begin. I don’t need to know a lot more than our God Who is Love to understand that I need not to be afraid. HE is working in all those around me. HE is working in me. HE is loving me. HE is the mission in me, and my whole life is a mission to bring HIM completely into my life. It is being steady in the Lord above all else so that in allowing Him to be my Foundation, something is continuously growing in the works. WHAT IS IT? I actually don’t fully know yet, but as He holds the blueprint, I will wait patiently for the Lord to reveal it all. In the meantime, I will keep my faith and rejoice in the inner castle He has built in me.
Full Time Pastoral Work is knowing that I am loved; I am not capable; I am called & chosen and He becomes capable in me.
This is my desire.
FULL TIME PASTORAL WORK.
To allow Him to become What is capable in me in an intimate and fearless vulnerability so that others may know this love. I DESIRE to simply love and be unafraid of it all.
And it has already begun.
“I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I hope;
my soul waits for the Lord,
more than watchmen for the morning,
more than watchmen for the morning.”
(Psalm 130: 5-6)
Sacred Heart of Jesus, have mercy on us.
Immaculate Heart of Mary, pray for us.