I am absolutely in love with You

I have been reflecting a lot on how much I have grown throughout my years of being in CFC-Youth. And so far, it has been a blessed journey. I have definitely learnt more than I ever thought I could. Because of certain relationships and the people I have met, my journey has definitely been blessed all the more. From attending households, pastorals, shouts, conferences, to eating out after events and those late night drives going home, my days have definitely been filled with lots of love, joy and laughter. April 7-9 marks my 8 years of being in this beautiful community. Well, actually, it should be CO, but I actually do not remember when it was.

During these past two years, my desire to do something more for the Lord has definitely been increased. It was within these past two years in where I really took a step back and asked the Lord for His guidance. It was within these past two years in where I was able to see with the eyes of faith. And it was within these past two years in where I really started questioning my purpose in this community.

After coming back from my GAT trip in the Philippines back in 2012, and going straight to the Almighty Conference in Winnipeg, I took with me the questions that started my discernment to apply for the MV program. “What more can I do for the Lord?” And, “Why am I still in this community?” This was the year when the MV program was introduced to me. Or rather, it was when I really took notice of the MV program. The questions that ran through my mind were answered pretty quickly come conference time but, because of my doubts and fears, my heart quickly hardened to the thought of it.

The past two years have been filled with heartbreaks within my family, service, school, personal life and relationships. I guess you could say, in all aspects of my life (Haha!). Two years filled with heartbreaks but, nevertheless, the Lord was still so good throughout. It was also within these two years in where I saw how good and loving the Lord really was. I saw how He worked to make all of the good things in my life happen. But most especially, I saw the joy and fruits of my struggles and difficulties.

Throughout these past two years, the Lord continued to stir my heart in ways I never could have imagined. I once thought that the Lord never cared so much for what I had wanted. Soon enough, the more I asked for the Lord’s guidance, the more He showed interest in my desires. I found that, the more I accepted His will and the more I willingly suffered with Him, the more at peace I became. Slowly but surely I started desiring for what He had wanted for me.

Two years had passed and still, my desire to apply had still remained. Throughout these two years, my desire had been magnified and yet, I found more and more reasons to not apply. My weaknesses, doubts and fears had increased and my heart was hardened even more. The desire, the longing for the Lord and to just really know Him more intimately was still there though.

As I write this, I am happy and proud to say that I finally answered the Lord’s call and applied. Surely enough, the Lord accepted me with open arms. I am now a Mission Volunteer. Praise God!

The Lord really knew how to make His way into my heart. He affirmed and assured me that, as long as I continued to say yes to Him, He would take care of everything. My weaknesses, doubts and fears would not matter because at the end of every day, He was holding on to me.

Never have I been this sure of the Lord’s love for me until now. I start my 8th year in this community as a Mission Volunteer. That is pretty awesome :’). As I journey in the MV program and put aside all of my doubts and fears, I will continue to have faith, hope and trust in the Lord.

Jesus you have me completely
Every breath that I breath
I am absolutely in love
Jesus I am yours forever
All of me surrenders
I am absolutely in love with You

AMDG!