The Light of Christ is so bright, radiant, and unyielding.
It’s been some time since I joined community and turned my eyes towards the Light of Christ. I have grown in my faith and changed in ways I would never have thought possible. But if there’s anything that I have realized more than anything after all this time is that I’m a sinner.
The Light allows the shadows of the soul to be seen, the sins that thrive in the darkness.
This past Palm Sunday I was reminded again that I am a sinner, but this time it was in a way I have never experienced before. The priest talked about how the crucifixion came to be; how Jesus was rejected, betrayed, and abandoned to the mercy of sinners. I cannot even comprehend what the Lord must have experienced not only physically but also emotionally.
At the middle of the homily I realized that that in His Light I could see in me;
the shadow of Pilate who allowed His persecution to please others,
the shadow of Peter who rejected Him in order to save face,
the shadow of Thomas who doubted because he did not believe in Him,
and the shadow of Judas who betrayed Him in exchange for temporary pleasures.
After realizing this I knelt down and prayed, asking the Lord for His forgiveness. There was only one response and it was unexplainable peace.
This peace affirmed me that the Lord loves me despite all the sins that I have committed and that I need Him more now than ever before.
I remember a passing conversation I had with kuya Kevin after one service meeting.
Kevin: bro are you going home now?
Me: no
Kevin: why?
Me: because I’m going to Church
Kevin: why?
Me: because I have to go to confession and mass
Kevin: why?
Me:…..well…BECAUSE I’M A SINNER GUY! (seriously what does this guy want me to say LOL)
*then we both laugh like maniacs*
So much love for that brother for always putting me out of my comfort zone.
The Lord has changed me so much that I can no longer recognize myself when I look at the mirror but I have realized that there is still a VERY long way to go. I am affirmed every day that I will only grow more dependent on the Lord as I continue my personal road to holiness.
As I journey in His Light I am always reminded that God is Love and there is no sin greater than Him.
Lord I need you, every second I need you. Allow me to always walk in your Light, to love others like you Love me. Amen.
