On Monday afternoon, I was in the east end of GTA to meet with my co-worker. We decided to go to a mall so we could catch up. When I left the mall, it was raining pretty heavily so I ran to my car and left right away to go to my next client. I didn’t want to be late because of traffic.
Later on in the evening, as I was approaching my car so that I could go home, I saw the injury. My car had been hit, dented, and scratched. It wasn’t a small injury. If I had been the one to hit something, I would have felt and heard the accident. Someone hit my car, while it was parked, and didn’t leave a note.
My first reactions and thoughts (in order or occurrence) were shock, anger, hopelessness, and “How could this happen – now of all times?”
I drove home in shock and anger. I arrived home, took pictures, and took in the total damage. I knew I was angry and the only thing I could really do was pray and ask others for prayers – so I did. However, peace of mind didn’t come to me right away. I went to bed frustrated at the reality of my circumstance, angry at the dishonesty and carelessness of others, and hopeless in finding a solution. I felt so powerless.
When I woke up the next day, God revealed and reminded me through Isaiah 49: 1-6 (the first reading of Tuesday’s mass) that He knows that the reality of life is messy. He knows that I’m hurting and struggling, but because of this I have been chosen to love the dishonest and the careless.
I am right in the middle of this messy world where the light of Christ is obscured by the hurt we inflict on each other. In my mess, I have the options of despairing in my emotions and wallowing in hopelessness, or exposing His light in my darkness.
Don’t get me wrong…I am worried about my situation. I am human. Therefore, I am allowed to feel the fullness of the damage done. It’s okay to hurt and to feel it! What’s important is the action that follows.
I may be hurting, but my trust and faith in God’s love for me, pushes me to make a decision. God is the strength of my heart. Therefore, I choose to be a light despite the dark of my suffering.
“And now the Lord says,
who formed me from the womb to be his servant,
to bring Jacob back to him,
and that Israel might be gathered to him,
for I am honoured in the eyes of the Lord,
and my God has become my strength—
he says:
“It is too light a thing that you should be my servant
to raise up the tribes of Jacob
and to restore the preserved of Israel;
I will give you as a light to the nations,
that my salvation may reach to the end of the earth.” Isaiah 49: 5-6 (RSVCE)
A.M.D.G.