Monday, April 7 I woke up with massive shooting pain on my left foot/leg. It was so painful that I could not even move my left foot/leg area. A lot of things came to my head… It might be a broken bone, gout, a pinched nerve or a sprain. Worry and pain was really eating me and all I could think about was I wanted the pain gone! I decided to head to the ER and see what this was all about. While waiting for the doctor I was so worried about how this might affect my work, service and up-coming events that I needed to finish in the next few weeks. Not able to walk or limp would place me in a very difficult situation and a casted foot is what I really do not need right now. I was praying “Please Lord, I hope nothing serious” and after 3+ hours of waiting, X-ray and some assessment by the ER doctor – I was sent home. Thank God, it was only a bad sprain and the shooting pain was caused of a lower back pain.
As I was lying on my bed and really contemplating about the whole event – I felt so ashamed. It was so natural for me to worry about what was inconvenient and difficult that I didn’t realize that this was nothing to what the Lord felt during his agonizing time and his crucifixion. Lent was reminding me once more of Jesus’ mystery. I felt that God was testing me on how much do I really depend on my own will and not His? God’s plans and not mine, Our Lord first above anything and everything! Offer everything to the Lord!
I ended up sobbing not because of the pain on my foot but how I have acted in this situation. It was though God was showing me His heart and it was pure and forgiving. I realized that I needed to be more aware of God in all the things that comes to me – May it be a tough day or a good day. After really letting the Lord reveal Himself in this situation I know that I have much to improve on and that I will try to be a better and even more faithful daughter.
I am thankful that it is not a serious injury but more grateful that I was able to see the Lord in this and that I am given a chance to make things better.
5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 6 in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV)