After all these years of mission, there were plenty of times when I felt tired, dry and empty and so it is now, it comes sometimes occasionally and sometimes frequently. These kinds of thing make me question why am I here in the first place? Why am I in mission? What if I live a different life? Tiredness, dryness and emptiness really drive us closer to the question that matters in life, whether we like it or not.
Affirmation, consolation and blessings of course come along, unexpectedly most of the time. But the questions linger on… and so I’ve learned to live with it and came to the conclusion that sometimes questions are much better than having answers. There are things that are beyond my understanding and to accept it is to “understand” itself.
However, though questions persist, life and mission itself continues. And I found that as long as I continue my life and mission, answers do come along the way.
So is this journey worth walking for? As long as I am with God and my life is for God, I believe I am on the right direction and the journey is more than worth walking for.
Mission after all is for others more than self and so while we question, we continue the mission, we fight the good fight and run the good race, because as G. K. Chesterton said, “The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him.”