At the One Conference (a Vancouver Archdiocesan event) this weekend, I went to a workshop called Credible and Authentic Witnesses led by Fr. Chris Lynch. And he said something that really made me think:
When we lack a miracle, we must become that miracle. In the absence of miracles, seek the miracle worker.
You see, I’ve been waiting for a miracle. Right before Christmas doctors found a tumour in my uncle’s brain. And about a month ago he was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. He finished radiation to his brain and recently started chemotherapy. It sucks. For everyone. Our families avoid the topic but you can see we are all scared and all frightened and all upset. And I keep praying that he will get better against all odds. I have been begging God for a miracle.
But I don’t know if the miracle I want is in God’s plan for us. However, this quote, this speaker, reminded me that it isn’t the miracle I seek, it’s God. Ultimately I am calling out for the loving kindness of my Father in Heaven. For His compassion and mercy. And just because my uncle’s cancer doesn’t suddenly disappear doesn’t mean that God isn’t at work. And just because I can’t feel God in this situation doesn’t mean He isn’t ever-present. Maybe God wants to speak through me. So that I may become that beacon of light or strengthening force or comforting servant to my family that I am asking Him to be.
Maybe God is simply calling me to become the miracle.