Turn

(reflection for the week of May 20 – 26)

I always find it a blessing when I’m asked to share or asked to give a talk and immediately after it, I can barely remember what I said.  I take it as an affirmation that it was no longer I speaking but the Holy Spirit speaking through me and Praise God He did.

This past week, I had to say goodbye to my Ate Chona and my Godson Gabe.  No words could explain how beautiful these two people were or how important they were to me, so imagine my heart break magnified as the family asked me to give a joint eulogy.  I grew up in the community, giving talks was normal.  I was a recruiter for three years, I was trained to talk, trained to speak in front, trained to catch and hold people’s attention, yet somehow I couldn’t drum up anything to say without breaking down into tears.

It’s in this form of desolation that a little bit of clarity found me.  We have but a small and incomplete piece of God’s bigger and BETTER picture so trying to find answers is almost foolish.   And because of this, it really pushed me to seek refuge in my personal relationship with Him.  That’s when it got a little bit clearer; when I experience things that turn my whole world upside down,  it just reaffirms and confirms that we need to re-turn to Him.