During a discussion with my sister’s household we brought up what our greatest fears were. This is one of those questions we throw around for fun alongside “how’s your heart”. But this time we actually took it seriously and attempted to answer the question. Automatically I thought of the dark (it’s too unknowing I don’t like not knowing things) then I thought of what makes me scared right now. School just popped into my head, not because I fear lectures or presentations but I was actually done with it. This meant changes.
I’m not one for drastic changes in my life. Not out of coping, maybe more out of laziness but definitely out of fear. Many people experience this with big life moments or decisions. Getting cold feet, running away, that fight or flight mode. For me it less of a fight or flight and more of just stand there and see what happens. However, we aren’t called for complacency in our lives, whether if be our prayer life, work, school or even in our discernments for our future. And here I was being complacent with something so important my vocation.
With graduation just around the corner, I’m about to complete this step in pursuing my vocation. I know I need to not only ask the Holy Spirit for guidance but need to take action. There’s trust in the Lord and then there’s trust in the Lord. I know that He has my back, but I still need to lock my doors at night as protection. If I must takes steps into the unknown, I’m prepared to “gird my loins” if it means not being complacent, I need to at least try.
Father God, I ask that you not only send the Holy Spirit to guide me as I discern for my future, but give me the courage to do what I must do to fulfill my vocation. Even if that means facing my fears, I know that you are with me.
Amen.
In Christ,
Abby