Humbly I stand, an offering
With open hands, Lord I bring
Everything and nothing less,
My best, my all
You deserve my every breath,
My life, my song
It is Thursday. My last two days at home. I told myself that this time I wouldn’t cry, this time saying my goodbye’s wouldn’t be as bad as the first time. However, when I was praying for confidence this morning, when I was praying for strength and courage to leave home again for mission, I coud no longer contain my tears. I thought about the words I would say to my brother and my mother as I bid my farewell. What would I say? How can I express how much I love them and how much I will miss them? How can I make sure that they will be okay?
Being away for the past year has been difficult for my family and I. I can no longer fulfill my responsibilities and so the burden fell onto my mom and brother. So there were times that I felt very helpless. Times when I questioned myself and the decision that I made to go on mission. Was it selfish? Truly, when you are away, you will be tried and tested several times. But thankfully the Lord knows my heart. He knows exactly how to remind me of the choice that WE (my family and I) made when I was in the light. You see, in darkness, everything is unsure. Everything seems difficult, hopeless, impossible. However God is greater than these. God’s love and mercy is unquantifiable. My doubts and fears were only little drops in the ocean of God’s love.
Being home for the last three weeks reminded me of how much the Lord loves me. It’s crazy to think that He loves me THAT much but it’s even crazier to to wrap around my head that I had forgotten it (even if it’s for a short while).
So while I anticipate in anxiety for that moment when I need to say goodbye to my loved ones, I pray that He grants me the grace to express my love and gratitude for sending me these special people.
I am humbled by the capacity my family can love me. In return, I can only give everything that I am and nothing less. I can only serve You Lord with my entire life and my entire being, and nothing less. For You have given me more that I deserve because You simply are just that good!
I surrender, I surrender all
Oh, I surrender, I surrender all
Lord, take control,
I trust You
I’m letting go, to give You
Everything and nothing less, I give You
Everything and nothing less forever
Everything and nothing less
Oh, my life is Yours
Completely Yours, Oh!
Please pray for me and all the missionaries around the world. May God bless us all!
MJ
