It was on a Sunday Mass during last weekend’s Christian Personal Relationship Weekend Retreat when I saw a young boy with Down’s syndrome in the choir playing the tambourine and guitar with guidance from his grandmother. He did really well. I sensed genuine happiness seen through his smile as he played the tambourine and guitar.
I was reminded of the young boy in the miracle of the feeding of ten thousand men, who only had 5 loaves and 2 fishes with him to share and help feed the people. The young boy, with the little that he had, offered it all to Jesus. Then a miracle happened. His tiny offering was able to feed ten thousand men and their families and there was even more left of the food.
We have been blessed by God with gifts. Being the Generous Father that He is, God has bestowed on us necessary and precious gifts not only essential for our survival but most importantly for us to use in helping others. This way, God has made sure that His love would be always present and be felt by us through the sharing of His gifts as the Holy Trinity has perfectly shown in the constant sharing of love by the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.
We all have gifts. It is on the way we look at things, at our circumstances, and at what others have that we acquire a worldly view that we either have little or more gifts. And when it comes to answering the call to share our gifts, this worldly view can affect us so much and can leave us asking: “Do I have anything to give?”
When I started journeying with the Lord, I learned about His great love for me. I came to know His son Jesus, who is the greatest expression of His love. I have looked deeply on how I live my life as a Christian and I tried my best to respond to His love through the path of faith and repentance. I knew this journey would demand from me something. With God’s love and generosity, will I not give Him what He actually gave me in the first place? That has always been a thought I keep pondering on.
Being a member of Singles for Christ and as a young adult,I know I am soon approaching the crossroads of my life when eventually I will respond to God’s love and call through my vocation: married life, single blessedness or priesthood. Just thinking about this life decision, it makes me excited, yes but more nervous. I have a lot of questions: “Do I have anything to give? Am I ready to give of myself? Can I give up what I have? Do I have the courage? Am I worthy? How about my past mistakes and sins? How about my current struggles? Will my offering be enough?” The question goes on.
Trust and surrender.
The young boy in the feeding of the ten thousand gave it all to our Lord with full trust. I am called to do the same. I am called to lay at the Lord’s feet all that I have. Aside from my gifts, talents, abilities, and everything good that the Lord has given, I am called to lay at his feet even my insecurities, uncertainties, sinfulness, incapacities, and fears. I must allow the Lord to create a miracle through me and that will only happen if I surrender to Him and trust Him.
As I continue this journey towards fully responding to God’s love, as much as I can, I am trying not to focus on the many questions that I have. I am choosing to look at the constant love, forgiveness, acceptance, provision and guidance that the Lord has for me. I will bask in His Love and share that love to others in the best way that I can. I will grow and bear fruit where I am planted at the moment. Then eventually, when God pulls me and plants me somewhere else, I will obey and continue to witness to His love.
Lord, as I continue to journey with You and respond fully to your love, receive my five loaves and two fishes. Amen.
Take and receive, O Lord, my liberty
Take all my will, my mind, my memory
All things I hold and all I own are Thine
Thine was the gift, to Thee I all resign
Do Thou direct and govern all and sway
Do what Thou wilt, command, and I obey
Only Thy grace, Thy love on me bestow
These make me rich, all else will I forego.– St. Ignatius de Loyola
