One of the realizations I had lately was that, the more I openly talk about the mission, the easier it gets for me to pray for my discernment.
I never really talked about or even discuss about it to people outside the community. Back in my mind, I always have the reason that people around me don’t need to know what I am doing, because they won’t even understand. There is also the fear to be judged or worse, unable to answer their questions or even live up to their expectations.
What a selfish reason.
It was only last week that I found the courage to talk about the community, what we do, what our vision is and about the program with my co-workers. And I was amazed how receptive and open they were about it. There was a feeling of relief and happiness inside me after, but I didn’t understand that time why. After a day or so, I was able to tell another person about the community and the program. And same reaction as the first time, she listened intently with an open mind. She asked me a bit about my faith, and I was more than happy to answer it.
My conversations with them made me realize that talking about the faith and sharing my experiences is already part of my mission. Sharing myself is already the mission itself. Because how can I even desire to be a missionary when I am afraid to talk about it openly. I used to tell myself that I will just let people see me, and hopefully see Christ in me. But it is not enough.
Jesus didn’t evangelize and touch so many people just by living His life. He preached, He walked, He opened Himself to people.
I realized that I am not limited by people who come and seek for my help. As a missionary, I have to go and reach out to people, who in different circumstances might not even know that they need help.
To be open, to be fearless, to be humble.
Those are the things I have to do to be an effective evangelizer. To open my heart and myself even to people that might judge me or even question me. To be fearless to talk about my faith and the mission, and to do everything with humble heart. Because only when I lowered my pride and didn’t care what others might think, will be the only time I will able to do what I need to do.
With conviction I will proudly say, I am a person with purpose.
I am a Catholic.
I am called to mission.
I am a mission volunteer.
and
I am discerning to be a lay missionary.
“I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world.” – St. Teresa of Calcutta