Every day of living and serving after this surgery has been a test of character, in more ways than one. In one way or another, I always find myself in this process of constantly evaluating what it means to be:
a good full-time worker…a good servant…a good counterpart…a good ate…a good teacher…a good applied human scientist…a good daughter…a good Catholic…a good conflict revolutionist…a good…ANYTHING
And every day, He challenges (or quite literally tears apart) everything I’ve always known as “Good”, and what is seen as “Success”. It’s this ultimate confusion or seeming disorganization that sometimes slows me down in my tracks, and on some days, blatantly stops me from doing anything. How do i know I am doing His work…if to my eyes, I am not producing results that I’ve come to instinctively embrace as “good”?
I’m learning that the only reassuring thing is the following: even if I can’t trust myself to do anything “good”, I sure can trust that this plan that the Lord has me on is more than “good” enough. The only real measure of success I can rely on…. is to lovingly trust Him…in everything that I do….