Dear Lord,
I think you are truly testing me. I often pray for you to teach me to be like Mama Mary: her purity of heart, mind, humility, and all that she is. Of course, like always, you put me in circumstances to strive to be just like that. Lord, it is not easy. I still see myself to be too proud and self-righteous.
Lord, for many years, mom and I didn’t have the greatest relationship: sin after sin, but you have overcome just so we would have the taste of heaven into our home. You truly have turned our relationship from water into wine. You have also planted in my heart and my being the importance and the love of a family. I can as well say that with the help and love of CFC- family, I have established values that I am truly proud of and stand up for.
On the other hand Lord, I feel too proud and righteous now that my friend is living with us due to a family conflict that made her leave her home. Similar to where my mom and I once were. I should be more empathetic, but I often see myself imposing my stand on family on her, a know-it-all. I wanted her to see how blessed she can be if she chooses her family. It frustrates me to see her depend on her own and not on you as much I’d like her to (given that of course I don’t know her prayer life). See what I mean Lord? I am self-righteous right?
Then again you continue to reach me many times through Papa Francesco’s homily on March 2. You spoke to me,
“[Anak] It is easy to judge others, but we can only progress on our Christian journey in life if we are capable of judging ourselves first.” – Papa Francesco
–> Anak how can I turn your friend’s life from water into wine, if you won’t let me? Just please be with her and let her know I love her, and that I will never forsake her. She doesn’t need anyone else’s stand but my stand. Just please let me use you Jes. This is the time to be like my Mother Mary.
It’s so easy for me to judge, when really I am doing so much worst. Lord please send your Archangel Michael to fight on my behalf when I tend to lean on my own understanding, pride, and righteousness.
Love,
JKM luli
“store your treasures in heaven”- Matthew 6:20
