I don’t know how many people use or have used a vanity table. Most I’ve seen have 3 mirrors. It was my first time actually sitting in front of one and when I did, it was exciting and amusing. The first thing I thought was, “Where can I get one of these? It’s so easy to get ready. I don’t have to turn my head to see all the different angles while fixing my hair and make up.” I was so excited and so pleased to see how easily I could catch and fix all the bad angles. Then I caught myself and thought, “How IS this really beneficial for me. All it does is ‘fix’ the superficial.”
How many times in service (whether it is in the community, in church, in our families, in our friendships and in our employment) do we find ourselves hovering over this vanity table complex? There have been countless times where I have caught myself wanting to do something to LOOK like a good leader, or a good daughter, or to look like the best, the strongest, or the most capable. I used to want to do the things that were good so that I could look good and not because I truly wanted to serve those around me. And then I would catch myself, stop, then repeat the cycle. It became toxic, but it was easier. But to truly be a servant was never meant to be easy. From the very beginning, Jesus pointed out exactly what servanthood entitled us to. It wasn’t to gain a title of being the best or most capable of being good.
The only things servanthood entitles us to is sacrifice and surrender to the Lord, and sometimes, silence.
It is being good, as our Father is Good, with no entitlement and in silence. True servanthood seeks no recognition; it seeks only Love. Now this isn’t to say sitting in front of a vanity table is a sin, but it is to say that I realized that judgement of vanity goes beyond the superficial. It is not the action itself that makes it vain, but the true intention of the heart.
How have I learned to break out of this cycle? Honestly speaking, I don’t think it has or ever will permanently disappear. The reality is, I’m a sinner, and far from perfect. But what I have found fruitful is to seek the Lord. In all the things I do or say, I try to lead my heart wholeheartedly to seek the Lord always and see Him in me and those around me. That way, I am not “training” my body and my heart to be good, but rather “teaching” and learning myself how to TRULY BE GOOD, and live in the image of my Father Who IS Good. I will never be able to “fix” the imperfections to maintain a perfect look. In fact, that is impossible. But that’s what makes it beautiful, in the imperfections, I take comfort in knowing that it brings me closer to my brothers and sisters in Christ. We are truly a community of totally imperfect people, yearning and desiring to know God Who is Perfect. And in our trials, we are all journeying in a life lesson of love.
♥
Lord, I ask that You allow me to learn to not guard my heart from temptation, but rather LEAD it closer to You. In all that I do, say, and think, may I always be able to see You first, and give thanks for Your Presence and living victory in my life.
Amen.
TOTUS TUUS.