Month: July 2014

Ever since TNC, I have been filled with so much joy in my life, seeing the positive out of everything. And the Lord has been nothing short of good in my life.

We opened today’s Educational Psychology lecture with the instructor playing Pharell’s “Happy” and, if you know me, you would know that I can’t help but dance. So, from my chair, while everyone else was just doing whatever, I danced and clapped along to the song.

We looked at Kübler-Ross’s 5 stages of Grief and we applied it to our experience in the Bachelor of Education program. Our instructor asked for examples from us to share and I decided to volunteer. Before I could share however, she asked what my name was and told me in front of everyone else in the lecture hall that she really liked me. I was hesitant to ask why but when I did the answer was so simple  – because I always smiled at her. In a class of 150 students, she would be able to point me out in the crowd because I always smiled at her. That brought total joy to her heart and certainly to mine.

I decided to share about my feelings in a lecture of about 150 aspiring educators. Ever since Grade 6, I’ve known that I was always going to be a teacher. However, since I joined the Mission Volunteer Program, I’ve felt the Lord tug on my heartstrings towards a path that I never saw myself in. I shared with these people my desire to be a missionary, to be a Full Time Pastoral Worker for Couples For Christ. That even though I’ve had this desire in my heart to be a teacher all this time, that even though I’ve had the desire to be married and raise a family, these desires have been superseded by my desire to go full-time for the Lord in CFC. It felt so good to have been able to acknowledge this with all of my colleagues in the room. And it also helped that my instructor is still to this day a practicing Catholic.

Do I feel bad that I’ve spent so much money on something that I will not end up pursuing right away? Of course not. I feel so much at peace, so full of joy with this decision. I know that the Lord will take care of me wherever I will go, wherever He will lead me.

Conference was about one and half weeks ago. It was truly hard to for me to understand what happen to me that week. I was in the mind set of Conference Season because of the CFC Conference held in Edmonton the week before. I was so into serving than thinking about what the Lord was telling me. Even know the Lord shouted at me to listen to him. But I guess the echo of his voice is hitting me now.

I would say the first day of TNC was the place the Lord was pulled my heart strings. I decided to come late for call time because I did not have the chance to goto confession/mass before conference. While I waited in line for confession. At the corner of my eye I saw Kuya butch, Arnold, Ate Grace coming. And my heart melted because they are the ones I looked up to as a youth in my first few years as a YFC member. In my head this truly a Reunion. I had the chance to talk to them after mass and they were like Ambrose you are so different. You aren’t the 2003 Ambrose or to ate Grace Not AMBROSE from the Xanga days hahaha.

Later on that day I kept on seeing Former Full Time Pastoral workers and I got the chance to talk to all. Truly my heart strings were getting pulled even more. All I remember from talking to the them is that they are like Ambrose you did that or Ambrose you are MV or even Ambrose is MV and last one is “See the teasing you worked and now you are MV. It’s crazy how proud they are of me.  That is the last thing I would think they would say or even think.

It was CRAZY when I started to see leaders from the past that came to Edmonton to serve in Pre-con and Discovery Camp. Truly full circle because most of them are married and having or has Children.

But making long story short hahaha. Ummmmmmm

The second thing that really pulled my heart strings to mission. After conference we had MV/FTPW meeting and the past FTPW gave us advice about mission and being a missionary. Even know I missed a few of them talking. I got to listen to ate Lissa and Ate Cher. It really hit home for me of all the things you guys said to us because it stuff I have been struggling with so much in the last few months.

The one thing ate Cher said was:

“Even know you may feel like you are alone in the mission at times and the world is coming down on you. You aren’t alone! You have one another to support each other and you have us as past full timers to support you too”

Then ending of the little session was Kuya Butch giving us a exhortation and was going to pray over us. It was crazy because past and present FTPW surrounded us to pray for us Mission Volunteers.

When kuya Butch was talking to us. When he said this is like a FATHER MOMENT for him and seeing the community to hit 20 years and where it is at.  The last big heart tug was when he was saying

“I can’t wait for the moment when one or more of you is here standing where I am now, praying over my kids that are mission volunteers”

Truly TNC 2014 was celebration of 20 years and the LEGACY that came with it.

Now it is time to Carry that Legacy.

What will the Lord show us in the Next 20?

What will be your LEGACY?

O God, give me courage to face difficult challenges.
Give me courage to love when i’m tempted to be indifferent, to forgive when i’m tempted to hold a grudge, to help those who ask for nothing, to serve those who have nothing to give in return, to fully invest prayer and time in those i’m called to make room in my heart for.
Give me courage to live the life I am called to.
Grant me courage that comes not from me but only from your unwavering, never-failing grace.

Amen

Mary, Help of Christians, pray for us.
Totus tuus

I remember being in adoration before leaving for Vancouver just a little over two weeks ago. I looked upon Jesus and thought to myself “why do you Love me?”.

It was an honest question, I imagined myself as a child and how I would look at myself if I was my own Father. I would actually be very disappointed in myself. I would be frustrated and angry because of how imperfect and how much of a sinner I am. People tell me I’m too hard on myself but I’m just being real.

I know my sin and my imperfections, the only one that probably knows these things better than myself is God.

Then why? Why is it that when I look at Him in adoration I feel no disappointment, anger, or frustration?

Why is it that there is only Love looking back at me?

If there is anything I’ve learned serving the CFC- Youth/SFC and the CFC Conferences it’s that He simply chose to Love me, He chose to call me beloved fully knowing who I am and how I would hurt Him.

It was God’s choice to Love us and I think that is the single biggest blessing that has ever been freely given to us as His children.

God does not need a reason to Love us, he Loves us simply because that is the nature of His Love.

We see Him rise in our darkest moments and our highest victories simply because he Loves us with a:

A Love so intense it ignites us

A Love so overwhelming it conquers our hearts

A Love so pure it overcomes ALL our sin

Truly we are blessed in belonging to a God who Loves us so completely, intimately, and unconditionally.

Praise God!

Praise God for a wonderful experience at the TNC in BC. Words could not describe the overwhelming joy that was in my heart in moments like: 1300+ worshipping, Adoration on Saturday evening, during mass on all 3 days, and many more. Also, being called to be the program head along with the Ruiz’s and Hannah was such a blessed experience that I will never forget.

As I leave the airport in BC, my mindset was … “Reflect, Reflect, Reflect”. I wanted to take everything in, process and hear the God speaking to me so that I can realize how to love Him, myself and others more. What came to me was:

1. YOU ARE NEVER ALONE – This is one of the resounding messages for me personally that I have heard throughout and after my TNC experience. Despite the emptiness and loneliness I may feel or obtain, the Lord will always be there for me in the Church, the community and through other people. “The Holy Spirit will always be with you, as long as you ask, seek, knock. I am with you.”

2. YOU ARE THE BRIDGE – Some people say it is hard to be an evangelist because sometimes people who do not know the faith at all find it hard to understand our conviction and love for God. A good example of this can be in our own families who are not in the community. Sometimes we tend to ignore them because we feel they wont “understand” what we go through. But really, those are the people who need to be the most loving towards. Father Robert explains it really well in his youtube video on “Intentional Discipleship”. It has come to me that as a missionary, which we are all called to be, we are to be the bridge to those who do not know the faith or who are not convicted in Jesus’ saving grace.

How do we become a good bridge?

Simply being kind, generous, loving and implementing the gospel in our words and actions. Yes it is good to know the doctrines of the church but showing Christ in the simplest way will be more effective in helping others realize Christ more. We have the inexhaustible word of God in our hearts to share to those who long for Christ. As St. Augustine says, we all long and desire for God whether we are an atheist or convicted catholic.

And that’s the good news. We all LONG for GOD.

We are all called to be the bridge for others to realize Christ. To plant seeds on good, thorny, rocky or even bad soil, referring to all people. Let’s do a RAK (Random Act of Kindness) to everyone everyday.

 

– The ending question on Fr. Nick’s most recent blog (Hi Father Nick!). This past month has been filled with so much Beauty, it’s overwhelming to contain it all. I hope to point out some recent experiences that made me ponder and reflect more on God’s love and his true and perfect beauty.

• Vancouver in the summer time is absolutely beautiful. I remember being in awe every time I visit White Rock beach, and every experience I had to see clear blue skies, serene water and mountains in the backdrop. I also remember feeling happy seeing my instagram feed full of nature-related photos because how can you not like something so breathtaking 🙂
• This month I have also experienced the beauty of vulnerability in my conversations with my brothers and sisters.  From sharing conference experiences, to simple “how are yous”, to hearing the stories of previous Full Time Pastoral Workers and their love for God through their mission work (my eyes were sweating the entire time listening to their incredible stories), to reading shared status updates and blogs, to late night drives with a good friend pouring out so much honesty to the point of tears, I have seen how the Lord has given me so many beautiful relationships in my life. What a beautiful privilege it is to be placed in this moment to journey with our loved ones closer to God.
• I also couldn’t stop thinking about my first experience attending a Latin High Mass. The reverence, joy and beauty I witnessed were incredible. Some details that stood out to me were seeing the women wearing veils, the men in suits, the choir (!) and the beautiful hymns they sang, the altar servers and how focused they were being in Jesus’ presence, and the priest and his incredible love for the Mass. It left me feeling joyful and at the same time wanting more – even though I feel that this life and the journey of faith will always remain a mystery, it struck something in me to want to learn more and renew my promise to love God above all things.

All these recent experiences are but a tiny preview to the many times my heart and mind gets overwhelmed daily, when I really look into how much God loves me and how much I want to love Him.

Father Nick said it best when he said,

“At that moment I greatly desired to have this relationship in my life and began searching to see how this could be possible. There is so much beauty in our faith. The beauty of Jesus’ life who died out of love to save us. The beauty of the holy lives of the saints. The beauty of being part of the Church, a family that transcends time and nationality. When we reconnect with this beauty, we renew – or perhaps enkindle for the first time – our desire to follow Jesus.”

When we reconnect with this beauty, we renew- or perhaps enkindle of the first time – our desire to follow Jesus.

St. Joseph, Our Lady of Lourdes, Most Holy Family, pray for us on this journey of Perfect Beauty.

Praise God! 🙂