Forward in Christ.
… I am the Light of the World.” When he had said this, he spat on the ground and made mud with saliva and spread the mud on the man’s eyes – John 9: 5-6
I have a horrible memory. So I am very pleased to be typing how much of a blessed week this has been and to what degree I can remember every single detail of it. Praise God for the baptism of one of our former CFC-Youth coordinators children! Welcome to the Catholic Faith, Kyle Nathan Guloy! 🙂 Truthfully, part of the reason for this improved memory has to do with having to do daily reflections as a collective fast for the NALS Music Ministry. The other part is a developing routine of starting my morning memorizing Scripture promises and recalling them throughout the day and at night.
One of the MVs wrote a post a couple of days on Reparation. I must admit I often wonder where I’m at in reparation of my sin. Part of the “imbalances” I’m constantly lifting up to the Him is my Wounded Memory. There are years of my life I can’t remember in detail. From the smallest to the biggest details… What I liked about school. When I started my service roles. What kind of food I liked. Everything is a big -emotional- blur fest. I remember feeling angry a lot. At myself, at others. Whenever I’m having a hard time remembering important things, I question myself. It is one of those Wounds that make me wonder. I ask “Lord, am I healed enough to do whatever You’re asking me to do?”
Within the past month, the way He has consistently been responding to this question is to not give me the satisfaction of “Yes” or “No” in my prayer time. Instead, He has given me the strength to undergo the challenge to look and move forward. The Lord has not asked me to be still, think, and try to remember everything but has called me to action. And I am assured. That though I may not remember with clarity everything in the past… I know that it is His promise that He will bless me abundantly with much more than what I have lost – more than just healing of my Wounded Memory- in giving my all (my everyday and my future) to Him.
Beloved, I do not consider that I have made it my own, but this one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the heavenly call of God in Christ Jesus. – Philippians 3: 13-14
