Take up your cross daily!
They went to a place called Gethsemane. Mark 14:32
Two days ago, some of the Mission Volunteers from Toronto decided on a whim to come to Montreal for a visit. For the past two days, together, we ate well: Marven’s Calamari and Lamb Chops , Orange Julep, and “Blanquise” Poutine. We prayed together (Saint Joseph’s Oratory), and even climbed a mountain that lead to a cross (Mont Royal Cross). At that point, we were together mostly, but in the moment, I stood alone in awe of the overwhelming size of this Cross. I had lots of things on my mind… And my walk with Jesus (see last post) had lead my heart to its own Garden of Gethsemane. In a split second… I made the decision to allow it to sit there. In doing so, I found myself in a most needed “real talk” conversation with the Lord that started off with this question:
- Me: Lord, I know I’m suppose to be strong and joyful. Am I even allowed to have an emo moment about my Cross with You?
The Lord: Uh. Yeah. DUH. :: gentle/not so gentle love slap::
In a slight moment… How often do we let the immediate desire to experience happiness or comfort keep us from acknowledging that our hearts are really undergoing some form of torment or suffering. In a quick moment, we make the quick decision to come to Him in a poor effort to convince Him (but mostly ourselves), that we are fine. Skipping a proper examination of our hearts, we say: “Yeah Lord, my heart’s fine, totally fine! Thank You for the birds, the bees, the trees”… Without realizing it is the tears, pains, aches in our hearts about Cross-carrying that we need to be bringing to Him instead. We deny ourselves a moment to be one in the Passion of Jesus, thus the fullness of Christ and His merciful and transforming Love. And truly… It is the walk with Jesus that makes the Cross-Carrying a true journey of triumphant Joy.
(Personal Prayer): Lord, by Your Cross and Resurrection, You have set us free. In the taking up of our own Cross in whatever they may look like – (1) discernment of full-time work, (2) the weight of service (3) uncomfortable changes to our spiritual pathways (from “thomistic” to “augustinian”)- … Lord Jesus, helps us to be better listeners of our hearts. With true openness of heart, we come to You… Allows us to live in awareness of the truth that by our Cross and its heaviness, we are infinitely blessed.
