My little brother is growing up, and although still younger than me, he’s hardly “little” any longer. Physically he towers over me, but more than that, he’s living a more adult life – he’s graduated and works full time, has a group of friends that I don’t know, and more and more I’m losing my influence in his life. When I’m in town, instead of going to mass as a complete family, he’s oftentimes at work and honestly, I don’t know where he is anymore spiritually.
I was looking at him the other day, pointing out that although we’re away at a campsite, he continues to look cool, in non-camping attire. It made me smile, however, that whether he fully realized it or not, he was wearing a small gold necklace with Mama Mary holding the child Jesus on the pendant.
Yesterday, we were at the beach and while swimming, he had lost the necklace and we all began to comb the bottom of the water in search of it. Because of the current, I had thought that maybe it went further away, closer to shore, and I would dive down continuously, in hopes that I would find it there. Twenty minutes later and out of breath, I realized how metaphorical this was. My brother, who I’ve felt has slowly been losing his faith, and me, far away trying to see if I can somehow help him find it again, blindly diving down and coming up empty. I noticed also that some of us were unaware that he had lost anything at all, and continued to swim or play, and others just didn’t see it as much of a cause, but there was a good core of us who continued to search. After coming up for air once more, I looked around and saw the expanse of the beach and felt that maybe we wouldn’t find it, and maybe that would be okay… maybe he’ll find his faith on his own, in His time. But just as I was thinking this, I heard cheering and turned back and saw that someone was holding up the necklace. And by no coincidence, this person also happens to be Ottawa’s Area Head, Nelson… who is also technically Edward’s pastoral head, if he ever chose to come back. It doesn’t take one person, it takes a group of people, who don’t give up, who search together.
And maybe an older sister, who in a feeling of hopelessness and loss, lifted up a quiet prayer. You might be praying for a loved one’s conversion…. Know that it is not an easy process and you might feel that time and time again, you’re coming up empty. But the Lord will use who He needs, it won’t always be you, just continue to be unceasing in your prayers for them and loving in your actions.
St. Monica, pray for us.