Last week was particularly trying in the office. My patience was often tested and the pressure to meet unrealistic expectations was overwhelming. I felt my blood pressure rising and headaches creeping up almost daily.
The only thing that grounded me was daily Eucharist. Knowing that He was unchanging, anchored me. Although each day was more trying than the previous one, all trials were erased with Christ. It was a daily reminder to draw my strength through Him and to anchor myself to Him alone.
Lately, things have been hectic with my schedule with work, preparations for camp, households, CLP and everything in between. With just so little days left before the camp, my uncle asked me to drive with him and the family to Toronto for the weekend. I hesitated but agreed to go. I knew that by leaving I wouldn’t be able to attend events scheduled for the weekend, final preparations for camp and CLP. However, I knew that my family needed me and that things would still run during my absence.
We are here in Toronto to bring my grandmother back, after staying with us in Montreal for a few weeks. Despite all the things I might have missed back home, I wouldn’t of missed this opportunity to be with my family. It seems like the Lord wanted me to pause from everything and enjoy my time with them. I missed the laughs, the stories and the simplicity of sharing a meal together. We are also remembering our Lolo’s death anniversary and we were able to celebrate Mass together at St. Michael’s Cathedral. This is a blessing in itself because we rarely go to mass as a family (Thank you, Lord & thank you, Lolo!)
As I sit at the edge of the couch, while my uncles and aunts yell at the TV during the Pacquiao fight, I can’t help but thank the Lord for this great blessing. I’m grateful for this short trip and for the memories I will hold dearly in my heart. I’m thankful for the love I receive from the ones I care about the most and for the moments I get to feel God’s love. God must really love me because He knows what I need and when I need it the most. In this discernment for missionary work, I cherish every single moment I can spend with my family, especially knowing that I may one day be away from them. For now, I will cherish this weekend as if it were a picture that I can hang on my wall.
Heavenly Father, thank you for loving me through my family here on earth. May you always remind me that I must also love and serve them in the best way that I can. May you continue to bless us and protect us from harm.
Holy Family, pray for us.
AMDG
Throughout this week I’ve been reminded that it is great to live in Canada. Just a couple of days ago, I saw a post that said Canadian post-secondary graduates don’t have to repay their student loans until they make at least $20,000 annually, which is pretty great news for anyone who has recently graduated and is experiencing difficulty in finding employment.
I’ve had a lot of these little reminders here and there about being thankful for just how easy I have it, especially when I’ve had the opportunity to go to school and receive a university education, and for simply having the freedom to choose what I can do everyday while living in peace.
All of these blessings really put things in perspective when I compare the sort of liberties and securities I have to those who are suffering immensely, particularly victims of war, injustice, poverty, or in comparison to all of the refugees who have been displaced from their home countries. There are many people in the world who aren’t living in peace, but instead, see suffering and death as common instances that can never be explained.
There are so many people who need prayers. There are so many people who need help around the world. It makes me think, Who am I not to pray for them more? Who am I for not being more grateful that I get to live in peace?
Today I was reminded of just that — my lack of gratefulness to God for blessing me with the gift of living in Canada. It was during our Liveloud Alberta meeting, and the worship leader mentioned how thankful he was for living in Canada and just for getting the opportunity to serve God so freely as a missionary. His words resonated with me and I just felt so humbled and thankful for the reminder because I really needed it.
In the past month I was finding it difficult to serve God, not just in the community but also in fostering my personal relationship with Him. There were a lot of personal things I was going through and my anxiety started to grow more and more. While I do not diminish the suffering I went through, when I compare my sufferings with my brothers and sisters around the world, including those in the community, I am motivated to be more thankful for the life I have in Canada.
When I think back to my experience at World GAT in 2011, I remember my brothers and sisters from the the Middle East sharing with me how they had to have their CFC-Youth events in secret because there were laws that made Christian gatherings illegal (or something along the lines of that). I can also recall one of the speakers at the SFC TNC this past September share that at every event he attends in his home country, there is always a birthday cake present — not to celebrate someone’s birthday, but to avoid getting into trouble with the law because in his country it was also forbidden to have Christian gatherings. How crazy is that?
The sort of freedom I have living in Canada is something to be thankful for, something that shouldn’t be taken for granted, especially on days when it is difficult to serve God. I have the freedom to live in a safe and peaceful country. I have the freedom to serve God and praise Him, while not having to worry about going to prison.
In my prayers I was asking God, “Why am I here in Canada?” To be honest, I haven’t gotten a clear message just yet, but until then, I pray that I can be more thankful for this blessing and keep those suffering in my prayers, especially those who don’t have the same religious liberties that I have. As I live in this great nation I pray that I can be more brave and have no fear whenever and wherever God calls me to serve Him. Amen.
As you may already know, one of my crazy dreams is to change the world. Sounds cliché but I can say that I’m extremely blessed to be placed in an environment that allows me to do so on a daily basis. I work at a non-profit daycare centre that’s heavily involved in providing services to help disadvantaged families by ensuring quality child care. The daycare is only one of the many services that is provided for the family, being a small (but just as important) party of a huge network with endless resources for parents. I was recently given the opportunity to join a team that runs special projects to increase the quality of services for children, families and staff. This is one of the small ways that I can slowly “change the world”, by helping and serving the families that need it the most!
My passion for working with children is what’s been driving me closer and closer to God. Whether it be in my studies, in my career, or in my service, He always brought me where the children were. Knowing, loving and serving children means knowing, loving and serving their families. It means that families play an integral part of the development and well-being of the child.
Serving in Couples for Christ for the past 10 years made me understand how important that is. Whether or not the Lord wants me to be a full time pastoral worker, or a full time early childhood educator, I know that one thing is for sure — I will love and serve Him through the children and the family.
Embarking on this new and exciting (but also challenging) journey, I was very nervous and hesitant. What about my discernment in the mission volunteer program? Many what-ifs were being thrown around in my mind but I couldn’t help but ask myself “what if this IS part of my discernment?” The Lord has great plans for me, I just need to discover them! At this point, I can only surrender myself to Him. Wherever the Lord wants me to be, I will go! Lord, lead the way!
Heavenly Father, thank you for all that you have given me so far. Thank you for the challenges, the trials and fear, for they allowed opportunities of growth, mercy and patience. Thank you for stretching my heart and helping me understand and discover the plans you have set for me. Lord, please use me to do your will here on earth, may I do it joyfully and with complete obedience. Help me O Loving Mother, to imitate your obedient and pure heart.
Thy will be done.